Cuntybaws

11 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

aliens, space ships, nukes...

7 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

What the fuck does this prove? 

Anything you'd like it to prove.

8 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

We are getting to 1984 by way of Brave New World...

There's no arguing with a Venn diagram.

1 hour ago, ChildeHarold said:

Am I a cunt or is there something wrong with the world today? 

Not that these propositions are mutually exclusive, but yes.

I personally believe that ITV X represents not just the lowest common denominator but the absolute nadir of human endeavour. The very fact that it even exists makes me suspect that a great cleansing fire cannot be too far away now.

35 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Aitch, you come across like the sort of cunt who only ever washes his cock in the sink, and bi-annually at that.

I suspect you misspelled "biennially".

13 hours ago, Roadkill said:

...the very concept of consequences for your actions becomes so alien to the point that you're still arguing that your status as a celebrity should exempt you from the established laws of the land.

See also Katie Price, just for racial balance.

This vile, lying, chancing cunt has just been banned for refusing to say who was driving at the time other offences were (allegedly) committed.

Bianca Williams banned from driving and given 18 penalty points

The report doesn't say what the 11 penalty points she already had on her licence were for. Perhaps it was "Smelling of foreign food" or "Possession of curly black hair and thick lips"?

15 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Pruning shears and a spade… this is no common or garden crime.

14 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

You beat @Cuntybawsto it.

They must have one hell of a window box. Urban darkies aren't normally renowned for their gardening skills, unless this is "homegrown" on an industrial scale.

1 hour ago, southerncunt said:

You and @Decimus would get along quite alright here if you fancied it. Beer, wine and beaches?

An indigenous people to despise, strange marsupials to bugger, a big fucking rock - what's not to like?

19 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Carlton Palmer... legendary inability to play football

Must be something about the name. See also Carlton Cole, AKA Can't Control.

4 minutes ago, Decimus said:

My old man rang me just now, no introductions or niceties, just a hoarse whisper down the phone "Did you hear who's dead?".

Fully expecting it to be about MacGowan, he then followed up with "Jimmy Corkhill".

Just waiting for Pen to start the Henry Kissinger thread now...

7 hours ago, Decimus said:

Hardly a surprise, anyone who plays rugby in my opinion is a massive queer.

The prosecution rests, M'Lud.

4 hours ago, Penny Farthing said:

What did Cecil Parkinson die of?

Lou fucking Gehrig, eh, what were the odds?

Why is it never Bono?

I hope it's the "faggot/slut" version that gets released for the inevitable Xmas number one, if only to piss off Russell T Davies.

"I had problems associating disability with evil", says professional mincer Russell T Davies, whose condescending non-logic ignores the fact that Davros is the only Doctor Who villain in a wheelchair. 

I can't wait for the retcon of "Chorlton and the Wheelies".

2 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Pig grunting instead of coughing? People rolling around in mud? Am I still going to be able to make some Jerk Ham this Christmas?

Don't worry, I hear Pfizer are working on an oinkment. 

6 hours ago, The Beast said:

Old bill are politicised and are agents of the state.

When I was younger I wanted to be a copper, but I was caught out by the trick question on the application form.

“Q1: Father’s name?”

Rik: "Amazulu"

SPG: "Oh, is that right? Ah'm a Glaswegian"

4 minutes ago, Decimus said:

What have we fucking become?

I'm actually looking forward to Skynet becoming self aware and removing humans from the decision making process. Some cunts are in for a hell of a shock when that happens!

I sometimes think I'd quite like to be a traffic warden but I'd apply my powers very selectively and only target people who actually deserved it. Cunts who park on the pavement, or in disabled spaces, for example. And Muslims, obviously.

Unlike actual traffic wardens I would also hang around to confront everyone I ticketed in the hope of goading them into doing something they'd really regret. They've probably never met a warden with a flick knife before.

7 hours ago, entitled little cunt said:

Another prick then pipes up and bestowes his eternal wisdom stating the the subject has already been mentioned

Did somebody else mention this too? Because I can't imagine for a second you'd be calling ME a prick, you cheeky little piss-weasel.

6 hours ago, Decimus said:

Soon the only thing emerald/green about the isle will be Panzer's six remaining teeth.

Dublin as a whole strikes me as the sort of place which has more chromosomes than teeth.

1 hour ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

If you had posted a link, we could have read about this wanker without having to wade through your execrable grammar and syntax.

Or even added to the existing thread...