Roadkill

I'm getting a strong vibe of sexual innuendo from these comments. Isn't this treason? Or am I committing the treason by thinking this way? 

I bear no grudge with you exploiting your connections in the novelty toilet roll industry, Raas. I'm just in it for the glory.

5 minutes ago, ProfB said:

pig has ginger pubes & its nose went ex atmospheric.

Normal for Norfolk?

... the fuck are you on about?

Piggy in a blanket?

How the fuck did you get inside my flat?

Been reading up on your highly coincidental naval history, eh?

On 22/12/2016 at 12:42, Cuntybaws said:

If by "hammer" you mean ham planet, then yes. 

Couldn't help but notice you were just looking this up again. Feeling nostalgic?

Just now, Jake The Muss said:

Knifes are not my thing RK, just had them lying around and chucked them in the picture, i always stick to the hammers.

Good. Blunt force is always more effective than a narrow and piercing point of impact, unless the wielder is pathetically weak and sickly and the victim is pathetic enough to stand around and let a piddling little thing like blood loss or punctured vitals finish them off without using their last moments to gouge their enemy's eyes out, leaving them to suffer a far worse fate than death.

3 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I'm disappointed with the knives. The top one is a bizarre combination of a stamped, clip-point Bowie blade, with an awful non indexable handle, finished with gaudy, cheap die-cast guard and pommel. 

The smaller knife is a 'Franklin Mint' folder from the Native American series, and serves no purpose other than ornamental.

@Jake The Muss. Get rid of those ornaments. I can hook you up with a Fairbairn Sykes and a Buck 110.

Knives are for fatherless teenage bastards and B grade pimps, anyway

What the fuck is this nursery school shit, Fender? A fucking ball peen hammer?! Mallets?! Can't even see the one in the middle under the note, but I hope, for the preservation of your reputation, its a claw hammer with at least a bit of scalp clinging to it...

Fucking hell, Khiwa - how about a public announcement before you go uploading images of dodgy looking fuckers peeking around doors? It was a bit of a start going to the activity and seeing this pasty skinned skeletal bastard pop up without a warning...

Nowt like that feeling after completing another picture. The only thing that compares is taking a huge shite in a jacuzzi. 

13 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Haven't we already had the conversation about how this is a load of fucking shit? The fact that it's still better than anything Albert Toss has posted to date should not be viewed as any consolation.

Blame Frank. He gave me positive oral feedback and got the creative juices flowing again... 

So you've been making the flower arrangements for Forsyth's funeral... I'd wondered where you'd dissapeared to. Nice work. Very suiting.

I save my shit smearing work for public areas like libraries and hospitals, where it can be truly appreciated by the masses. The stuff I post on here is really just a hobby to pass the time between such projects, actually

10 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

I put up a nomination entitled "Chubby Brides" and illustrated it with her wedding picture. Since she thought said picture had never been online, the poor cunt reckoned I'd actually been in her house. She was shitting herself.

Of course, it had been online;  her husband had posted it without her knowledge. The real question is, how did I know her name, address, NINO, shoe size and medical history. A warning there for some - loose lips, pink nips.

The funniest bit was when The Rev clocked what was happening during the very short period before the nomination was removed. He was so delighted that he very nearly exploded. 

 ... No more drawings of Cuntybaws, then. I've only seen that terrible Hackers movie from 1995. And The Matrix of course, but that was hardly realistic.

13 minutes ago, Ape said:

Why would you want to produce a "tribute" to a very clever and slightly autistic fictional character on an Internet forum? It's a bit of a strange thing to do.

Guess I'm a strange person.

5 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

Fucking hell, don’t piss your pants. “I know where you live” is a stock phrase, originating from the dark days when “Kill yourself” was deemed an inappropriate greeting. (There are precious few on here capable of making good on the statement, but it can done all right, so take it as a friendly warning.)

Oh, and don’t go waving your metaphorical dick about over what you don’t like, while blatantly doing things intended to wind me up. Then we’ll get on just fine.

I had no intention of pissing you off, Cunty. This was a genuine and heartfelt tribute. I drew you as God getting carried through the heavens in the arms of Bubba cherubs and myself as that naked pleb he stops to throw change at in the real thing. If I'd wanted to wind you up I would have reversed the roles.

I was being humble, you hostile git.

3 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

I know where you live.

PS Ask them what I did to Cuntwad.

Fuck all because she was banned permanently by an admin years ago? Scary. Also if anything unusual does happen to myself or any of my personal friends or family I can assure you I'll do everything in my power to find you and have you prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

I don't like getting this real on a fucking internet forum. It's a stupid fucking picture of your avatar, Cuntybaws. Please don't make such personal threats over something so trivial.

6 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

Heaven forbid that you feel threatened by little o' me actually owning and driving a powerful bike. No, in your world that's impossible especially since you recently berated another punter for misogyny. FTR, my husband had/has his own bike. As for me I gave up motor-biking - mothering responsibilities and the dire state of British roads put paid to that. These days I drive something a bit more safe, secure and luxurious (with a bit of mechanical muscle when needed), its just I forget if my current '66 plate vehicle was supplied as a works car by the CC proprietors, or my RW employers, or an indulgent hubby - its difficult keeping track where one's baubles and glittering prizes are sourced from these days...

Does the sun not get reflected off that centre panel and into your eyes when you drive this thing, Roops? What ever happened to good old Rover style wood vinyl?

Thoughts, Cuntybaws?

It looks like a decapitated woman who's had her shoes stolen to me. Is that Bill's memorial bench?

...?

19 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

Oh, just fuck off, you stupid fucking cunt.

See? Roops likes it again. Unlike you she has impeccable taste.

8 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Oh, just fuck off, you stupid fucking cunt.

Hmmm... no complaints about quality this time. I must be doing something right.