nocti

Apologies for the spelling. Although I do like "sized" being in the word. Brings them down a bit.

Well, yes, there is that. But as I said, quite clearly, it would be nice for a bite sized story of whatever the fuck is going on in said article, then the cunts are mentioned and properly cuntisized. It'd be a shame if this just turned into a link-share forum. By the way, I apologise for cuntisized not being a word. Perhaps one day it could be.

Or perhaps OP could truncate the story, add his own humorous; perhaps sarcastic, angry, or at least boring spin on it. I hate to speak for everyone, but I imagine people come here for escape from shite news, not constant links to it.

Fuck me that was a long, dry read. So who is he?

No offense fatty, but in a hypothetical situation, with all this being true, I would've probably been a bit clued up after number six.

I can fucking imagine that, Dee.

You're not alone there soles. I too wondered if there might be even a slight glimmer of nostalgia, but it was all forced shitty stints of what the show once was, inviting the losers we all didnt laugh at back then to all come back so we could find the cunts even less funny. Not to mention some frankly appalling music. It reminded me of why I stopped watching telly not long after that anyway.

Now now sticks, no sucking up to the new members you brown nosing little shit.

Jazz, I wrote something on my stairs the other day that was more coherent than that, in spunk, when I fell down them whilst having a wank. Nobody really gives a fuck what sites you go on, except for this one if all you do is link to other ones that happen to be about as funny as cot death. Go on what ever sites you want, and pay for them however you like. Just make at least one of them for a glider flight over an active volcano.

Whilst covered in oil, it would seem.

Not quite sure, really, that information like that should be aired publicly Jizz me old foil-hatted son. I certainly don't want it out there whether I have or not, nor do I give a fuck whether anyone else has. What does that matter, incidentally?

Thank fuck for the last bit. I thought I was reading an ad for it at first.

Drinking wine on a boat no doubt. Only straight from the bottle on one of those boats they stick outside supermarkets that you pop 50p in.

​I stupidly read this before the aforementioned definition, and when you don't know what it is it sounds fucking disgusting. You had me concerned for a sec there, stick!

It reads like a clipping you'd see on the news, found written in shit or blood (perhaps a bit of both) underneath the author's swinging body. A frightening piece of writing, indeed.

Good call.

​By selfie sticks, do you mean cunt poles?

Dec, let me first say that great minds think alike, after seeing this sperm herder's face on a fucking yoghurt advert earlier, I genuinely thought to come back home and make her my first nom in a while, but you beat me to it you cheeky fucker. Secondly, this attention-munching fuckbag has literally zero talent. She is famous for sucking a gameshow host's dick and nothing more. I hear people saying that she wouldn't have got anywhere without her looks, which makes me question exactly what is considered attractive these days.

"One double bed should be fine for us, I reckon" - Lenny Henry

"I don't suppose you've got any sweeteners have you?" - Dawn French

My only attack on her was her weight. I didn't once mention the recent personality vacuum she seems to have been sucked into. Alas, during her early comedic days with Saunders et al she was piss funny, and I even chuckled occasionally when my dear late Mother had the Dibley shite on. But nobody gets forced into being a fat unfunny cunt. That's a path you choose. Look at punkape and Keith.

This nom was somewhat timely, as the hipster masses are in uproar about the incredibly "punk" band The Sex Pistols putting their name to Virgin Money. Despite the fact that, fundamentally, they were formed in an almost identical way to One Direction, just with the vote being to record execs instead of fuckwitted cuntbreeds watching it on telly.

Probably to pay for ECT after the aforementioned shagging. I bet if he had to wait around for any leftovers he'd look thinner than Mo fucking Farah. I'm sure Premier Inn sorted him out with some free grub. Not to mention them having enough branches in the UK so that Dawnzilla would be left guessing long enough for him to get decent rest before she caught him again.

I remember finding him vaguely amusing as a kid. Plus he must be applauded for spending that amount of time fucking someone who considers walking an extreme sport. I think a knighthood is stretching it a bit though.

Got to agree with you and Dec on Mr. Collins there, although like yourself I'm partial to some of the older Genesis stuff. In fact "Seconds Out" is one of the only exceptions to my opinion that all live albums are fucking dogshit. However, since his venture into Invisible Touch era Genesis and beyond, not to mention his own solo shite, I find as much point to him as a condom machine in Games Workshop. He should've packed it in yonks ago, as his dislocated vertebrae ended up showing him; the dizzy prick.