nocti

If people could stop getting married for a bit, I'd appreciate it. Cheers.

My boy is four weeks old, and I've forgotten how it feels to be fully rested already. Oh sleep, you long gone gem, how I long for thine sweet embrace once more. You back-stabbing cunt.

My phone just congratulated me on 0 seconds of walking. Sarcastic little fucking cunt.

Great big scabby fanny.

I just farted, and whilst I'm happy to say it wasn't solid, I can't say I'm particularly confident that it was gas either.

Hello again Monday you cunting piece of shit. Hurry up and fuck off.

I've been wondering what Keith is going to get for Christmas. Fatter I imagine.

If Monday was a person, i'd call it a cunt and kick its shins in.

One hour left of work. Stay back Monday you sneaky cunt.