nocti

5 hours ago, Decimus said:

Has he gone?

My wife muttered "another celebrity death then" only moments ago. I asked who, and as she said "Robbie" I admit that I began to feel the pangs of ecstasy, and even a shred of tumescence down below.

Unfortunately, turns out it's Coltrane. Who I actually quite liked.

15 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Diazepam and Horlicks.

For those suicidal hangovers, where you feel like you've spent the night being pegged by Lisa Riley whilst someone played the drums to "In The Air Tonight" on your fucking head with a pair of cattle prods, Diazepam indeed does the trick. In the absence of that, however, Solpadeine always managed to sort me out quite a bit, with the codeine helping to give enough of a buzz to keep any of the shakes and sweats away.

I always swore by Powerade during my "normal" ones. Never touched the stuff usually, but it seemed like quite a powerful elixir against the pure "drink-only" hangovers.

Sounds like our Decs might need a few months in a fucking monastery.

20 minutes ago, Carl Sway said:

Come on then, who's next?

I'll have a quick go. 

Hang yourself you latent homosexual.

Whilst the man himself has not been explicitly nominated, the adverts he appeared in were covered a while back...

21 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

France. The country that made Jerry Lewis a national hero. Enough said.

"My name's Denis so I'm gonna pronounce it peh-fleh!"

Making ProfB look remotely sane is no easy feat. Nice work.

3 minutes ago, Decimus said:

As a fully transcended being who has evolved into a form of pure consciousness, the asinine arguments and petty feuds that pervade this site are usually but the chatterings of ants to Bawsey. 

That being said, every now and again a Buckfast virus is uploaded to the mainframe, and woe betide any cunt who crosses him then.

I once considered insinuating that Baws had the potential to be homosexual. The next morning I found a coffin made to my precise measurements delivered to my workplace, inside of which was a bottle of toilet duck, and a post-it note with my phone's MAC address, and "pile of shit" scribbled on it.

19 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

What's all this 'I'm on Holiday' bollocks Neil? Nobody gives a shit about your shitty holiday, what you've eaten and what fucking flight your on.

Fuck off. 

It could come in handy to corroborate any sexual abuse allegations.

19 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Tbh I've always wanted Chaz to have a go at flying the throne since the 80s. He has had a lot of ideas and has always wanted to have a go at the establishment and private enterprises but unfortunately he will be told to keep his trap shut by the suited cunts who will be the subject of his ire. 

I'm not a royalist but I agree that liz has been a good monarch but it's the rest of the Kraut mafia (Chaz the exception) I've never liked

Charles is a self-proclaimed perennialist so it will indeed be interesting to see how people behave around him, particularly the media. However, he is also a bumbling, balloon animal-handed twat; so I doubt many will take a blind bit of notice until the day his swollen corpse slides off the throne and baldy picks up the orb.

30 minutes ago, Decimus said:

I've watched this shit, much to my chagrin. It's every bit as appalling as most non-Guardian reviews have made it out to be.

If you haven't watched it and subsequently decide that you may consider giving it a go because it can't possibly be that bad, I've got three words for you:

Lenny Fucking Henry.

I'd like to think that you, Decs, know more than most that I'll be giving this shit a berth wider than that infuriatingly unfunny race-baiting cunt's ex-wife.

4 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

I absolutely refuse to masturbate during it, though.

It's no longer on at the cinemas anyway, Baws.

40 minutes ago, Mrs Roops said:

Perhaps you could find the names and point of contact details of your children and ask if they could sign you up for the Tufty Club?

Fuck off, we're full.

3 hours ago, PANZER MURPHY said:

Yer crimes across history are comin back to haunt y'all..we giggle daily reading about the feral noirs n non integrating sand monkeys that now are firmly rooted in the mother country merry eid to y'all..lol

UNREPENTANTFENIANBAZTURDPANZERMURPHYBABY 

I'd be more mindful of your own, Panz. Your demographics are shifting at a much, much faster rate than England's.

Giggle away at this.

https://streamable.com/x2prge

14 hours ago, Neil said:

I see some no mark has retired from womens football so the BBC put her in the list of England's top goalscorers with the like of Lineker,Greaves & Charlton. It was the top story on the web page just for good measure.JUST FUCK OFF

That's like one of us lot placing ourselves alongside Palmer, Nicklaus and Hagen just because we blitzed a few crazy golf courses after an afternoon session on the trappist ales. The screeching clot-fannied dykes can all fuck off.   

7 hours ago, None of The Above said:

I have observerd this site from afar for several years. I much appreciate the divervse range of opinions. Much hilarity has ensued. I have never felt compelled to comment on any of it. My rudimentary understanding is that a 'vaccine' involves an attenuated virus that primes the immune system to respond. The covid vaccines, as Roops states, use an established mechanism....that has never been deployed on a global population. Can we trust the MHRA? Who collect fees from their paymasters. I'm with KB. Roops is a know-it-all establisment shill. Fact check my ring. We don't need to be experts to understand what 'good science' is. The very principle of the scientific method involves revaluation of hypotheses in the light if new data, examaning the flaws and limitations of a model (Neil Ferguson's computer). Wet the bed and bow down to the church of covid. I found it totally unedifying that we were being urged to rat out friends, neighbours and family alike. Never forget, never forgive. Roops is a cunt.

Get an avatar you cunt.

Huge fuss over fuck all. Some of these hysterical cunts need to peel their skinny jeans off and get some shorts on, buy some fucking deodorant, and shut the fuck up.

From what little I've seen online concerning this clearly traumatic ordeal, the vast majority of Brazilians are pissing themselves over it. The word appears to be rarely used as an epithet, and is actually rather affectionate in a 'naughty' kind of way; like one of us calling someone a "cheeky sod" or something similar. There are many other words he'd have used if he meant what people think he does, like "preto" (dark/black).

One of their futsal players even goes by the name, and doesn't look excessively black to me.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neguinho

To be honest, I'm glad that Hamilton is making himself look even more of an idiot as his light fades. He'll hopefully fuck off just that little bit quicker; the indignant closet cum-quaffing cunt. 

2 hours ago, Goober said:

@Eric Cuntman, just wondering if you might notice a particular demographic missing from this bollocks BBC story:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-61831485

Yes, it's transsexuals. What a fucking disgrace.  

Also, If that bariatric cunt has managed to fire a sprog out of its twat recently, I'll eat my fucking fedora. 

Someone, please, kill me now. 

I've seen so many stories lately where some thick cunts are basically saying "We're now having to watch how much we spend."

I'm no fucking economist, but perhaps if they did that a bit earlier in life, the filthy troglodytes would be coping a little better with the situation they're in now instead of bin-dipping outside Morrisons. 

47 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

It sounds like something etched on the front of Pen's underpants.

"Mattesons"

This pair of repugnant cunt-chomping ham-planets can fuck off. They were probably kept waiting whilst the nurses fashioned gowns for them both out of numerous curtains throughout the wards; not to mention the time it must take for three beds each to become free so they could be pushed together to accomodate them, whilst they place just as much strain on the NHS as their own fucked organs.

It's nobody's fault but their own that they could spend different currencies with each hand at the same time. The insatiable titans should be grateful somebody even mustered enough courage to communicate with them at all.  Fat fucking bull dyke spastics.

Only on the Corner can you go from asking for opinions on a new Tom Cruise film, to coercing a sheep into losing its virginity. In just a few pages no less.

8 hours ago, Roadkill said:

Mr. Blobby would rape the cunt until he was dead. But then again Mr. Blobby probably does that to everyone he meets eventually.

I once had a dream where I shat in her knicker drawer, shook it violently from side to side, then watched as she tried them all on.

She seems a bit fucked in the head if you ask me.

Who was the stupid fucking cunt who attempted to provide an alibi for his claim that he was on some holiday or cruise, by going on some borderline schizophrenic rant and playing the role of several people complete with different fonts, etc?

The user themselves were clearly forgettable, but that post was a linchpin of CC spasticity.

5 hours ago, Neil said:

Queers Park Rangers

Fiddlesborough

Campbridge Utd

Rogerhim United

Morecum

Fruits of the Forest Green Rovers

Trannymere Ravers

Forest Green have already made their stance on bottery very clear by serving vegan-only food at their ground.