Witheredscrote

3 minutes ago, Eddie said:

Good point well made , now FUCK OFF CUNT.

Sorry , didn't get the last bit , did you press send ?

1 minute ago, Manky said:

I will get no texts. I have no friends.

I don't know about that Manky. For years my missus has donated / sponsored many things. African kids , horses ,dogs and cats etc. Why not start a Northerner befriending site.

8 minutes ago, Eddie said:

 putting the burden on you to send one back.

For fucks sake Edders , what burden ?, get a grip. How long does it take to write 'FUCK OFF CUNT' and press send.

5 minutes ago, Manky said:

 for a real healthy laugh just wait for some cunt getting run down or a real plane crash.

what , like Frank ?

What a cunt 'canned laughter ' is. Two programmes last night were full of the shit, David Jason's crap about a bunch of thick northern cunts which would have actually made me laugh if his shop was flooded. Then there was Nan Tate , good wholesome southern entertainment totally ruined by the same shit , plus a big headed dwarf trying to remember his lines. Next thing will be that cunt Quincy cocksucker adding the shit to his poor ,padded out, offerings to encourage us to see them as funny.  

2 hours ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

George Dors more like. Faggot.

What are the sores George Dors ?

33 minutes ago, MikeD said:

Mine was fucked by Terry Scott.

That's fuck all , my cousins mate knows a girl down the local who was shagged by Barry Scott. Apparently afterwards he sprayed her gusset with Cilit Bang and shouted 'one squirt and the grime is gone'

34 minutes ago, scotty said:

Back in the day, I'd have absolutely wrecked her. And don't get me started on diana dors.

Well Scotty you asked for it , Diana Dors would have wrecked you. Now for some blatant name-dropping. My uncle was Diana's gardener in West Sussex , and at the age of 7 I fell in her garden pond. Diana dragged me out and gave me a hot bath. Very nice lady , I've met her , Big !!

35 minutes ago, luke swarm said:

you cunt Mike......when I saw this nom my hopes rose........... I had hoped that you would say that this rancid cunt had passed away or at least had been diagnosed with some horrible terminal illness and would not see the new year in.  It is dismal news but to be expected when we view mediocrity and a talent for fucking people off as a virtue. who next then.....possibly jimmy cunt carr 

Don't be downhearted Swarm. Apparently she has a one in three chance of having a fatal asthma attack. Not bad odds

48 minutes ago, MikeD said:

And you thought Sir Lenny was fucking bollocks.

It seems this wrinkled old, one-trick pony cunt is next to be a national fucking treasure.

Fucking HELL!!!!

Fucking hell indeed Mike. Surely you've done a typo. It should read DAMN Barbara Windsor. Pair of wrinkled tits with asthma. Cunt

1 hour ago, Quincy Cockfingers said:

An idiot cousin of mine

Must be an idiot if he's related to you cunt.

15 minutes ago, neil298 said:

They're not the only ones with shit to shift,I have a turkey & mince pie christmas log knocking at my back door and I just cant shift the fucker,had one go and my eyes popped out on stalks like in the old Tom & Jerry cartoons i was pushing so hard,I'll be looking to shift these farmers in the new year as well,like christmas fucking baubles they are the bastards!

Problem with your farmers . Try soaking them in bleach . Adopt caution though , hold your slack scrotum out of harms way. Bon courage.

2 hours ago, Eddie said:

The great unwashed will hit the sales today with vigor. After buying up the latest 'must have' items for their kids , it's now time to ramp up the credit card futher to have the bragging rights on the latest handbag or watch. Most of the shit bought at Christmas will not last nearly as long as the debt. Still debt has always kept the plebs in line, Frank do you want to borrow a few quid ?

Asda are doing Brobat bleach today @ 80% off. get down there Eddie and get 100 bottles.

1 hour ago, luke swarm said:

Don't spoil the mood for them Withers....there's nothing like a beautiful friendship especially when its so passionate. 

sorry swarm ,these two lowest forms of pond life know no passion. They need stamping on pdq like one would a cockroach. Talking of cockroaches , where's Frank.

25 minutes ago, Manky said:

What a cuntfest. Get a room you twats.

Agreed. What a couple of cunts these 2 young shit stabbers are. It seems the more they write the less they have to say. There are plenty of rooms to let in Damascus.

Have a Happy New Year Manky and keep your chain well oiled.

13 hours ago, cuntspotter said:

 ..... And eight pints of spitfire.

So in summary Spotters , you give your grandson a very cheap knitted toy thus saving yourself money to buy loads of beer. Christmas cheer , my arse. Selfish cunt.

Rebel doing the BT Infinity ads. Fucking hell , what a sad sack of thick shit she is. If she could actually do the splits her minge-piece would stick to the studio floor like a sink plunger on glass. It would take 3 paddies and a jack hammer to get her up. Fat cunt.

9 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

Do you have a Tiny Clanger?

don't be a cunt Baws , Tiny lives on a small planet millions of miles from earth. There she gives copious blowjobs to Major Clanger who is a notorious peado. Pay attention you prick

Carbonated drink , whats that  . Is it anything like champagne . I had some trouble with a Krug 2000 Clos du Mesnil this morning. Now that was a cunt.

I thought  'The Clangers' were good this morning. The Iron Chicken is my favourite character but I must admit the Soup Dragon is a flid.

1 minute ago, Charlie Hunt said:

So that's all that the self-styled head of the welcoming committee has to offer? How many members in your committee Bill? Just you? Perhaps you've taken the committee as far as you can, and it's time to hand over the reins to someone with fresh ideas? Or any fucking ideas. Or maybe it's a lifetime position, in which case this is an opportunity to really do the decent thing, and shuffle yourself off this mortal coil, to the benefit of all humanity.

Well done old chap. I can only apologise for Slackers tardy response. I am truly embarrassed . You will go far on this forum.

4 minutes ago, Bill Stickers said:

A decent first post. My advice would be quit while you're ahead and fuck off immediately.

Oh dear Slackers , you call this a cunting ?

9 minutes ago, Charlie Hunt said:

In the good old days this kid's behaviour would have earned him a fatherly buggering, and he would have been as quiet as a mouse during his next cinema visit. It's no coincidence that this country has been going down the shitter ever since the PC brigade made it illegal to use such tough love as a correctional tool.

Congratulations on your first post Chick. In Bill Stickers absence I would like to welcome you to the forum. You can rely on me to give you any support you need. I will never ever ask you to drink bleach , rub broken glass into your scrotum or have anal sex with Frank. However I will take this opportunity to suggest that your next post contains at least 3 'cunts' and an 'arsehole' or 2. Bill & Deccs will be along all too soon for you I am afraid. Look out for Scotty , he is a right cunt. Have a very Merry Christmas cunt.

1 hour ago, Manky said:

 I fear I will never get a job at the BBC

You never would have or ever will . Apart from being white ,Tory and  a racist , nobody outside Manchester would be able to understand a fucking word you said.

31 minutes ago, Manky said:

We don't refer to Ramadan as " Happy goat shagging" do we?

I do