Last Cunt Standing

I am some distance away, but this story has me confused now. Huw appears to have been caught paying for sexual services on the internet. The police say he has no case to answer, currently at least. The young unnamed provider of said sexual services says there’s no case to answer. The mob cry cover up and wave their pitchforks as they were asked, of course. Opportunistic colleagues with an axe to grind pile in with “he sent me a late night text and signed off with an X!” - please. The Sun, serving as some Orwellian moral guardian, seem to have based their story on the outrage of parents appalled by their offspring’s life choices, and are now in full reverse-ferret claiming no criminality was alleged, while screengrabs suggesting otherwise are preserved in internet aspic.

A middle aged man, otherwise respectable, lies in a psychiatric hospital dealing with the fallout of thinking with his cock as his poor wife picks up the pieces. Thirty five grand will soon look like chicken feed. Being stupid on the internet and thinking with your cock. Something hundreds of thousands of men do every day, including some here I shouldn’t wonder. It’s stupid, grubby, and isn’t for the dinner table, but I wouldn’t fancy a British tabloid giving someone I love a public enema much either, thanks. 

No laws appear to have been broken thus far. Yet the usual suspects line up with Murdoch to denounce the BBC as paedo central and want it scrapped/defunded/turned over to private capital. These people would perhaps do well to reflect on the company they keep and the standards The Sun has championed down the years. The disgusting creature that is Kelvin McKenzie perhaps as exhibit A. 

What frustrates me is the targets these people pick for the full pack of hounds treatment. Meanwhile, Boris gets to ennoble his intern, withhold his phone from a public enquiry, and cavort with the KGB while Foreign Secretary. Gets a soft focus new dad piece in The Mail. George Osbourne might have done something unspeakable, says a mysterious email. Michelle Mone gets a nine figure sum for not much and spunks it on a yacht, while public servants are told to try a little harder if they want a cost of living rise. All with not a murmur from the Nations favourite comic. 

They’re laughing at you. And you love them for it. 

3 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

Honest onions about the memory thang - I've had most travel shots going and then some.

Have you had Rabies? The vaccine, not the condition, before you accuse me of being unsavoury.

3 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

Well, I guess we'll have to take your word about and your gf's vaccinations in view of your predilection for telling porkies. Be that as it may, you've merely demonstrated that you still don't have a sodding clue what vaccines do and don't do. All five of the listed vaccines will neither prevent infection nor transmission. Like the mRNA vaccines they simply prepare the body should you become infected. The difference between the vaccines you say you've taken is that all five introduce an inactive pathogen into your body (though if memory serves, the yellow fever shot is very much "active") whereas the mRNA shot introduces a protein incorporating a set of instructions for the body to make it's own antibodies. One mo' thing; eventually the majority of vaccines, including the ones on your list will be made this way for the simple reason that mRNA shots have been proven to be safer and the rate of rejection is miniscule compared to the "traditional" vaccines. Before you kick off, mRNA vaccines have been rolled out for more than a decade...

How long might this dialogue of the deaf continue? Neither you or Bill are remotely capable of retreat at this late stage, so perhaps keeping quiet might be an alternative strategy for the next twelve months?

I’ve just had my retinas singed by the sight of a (probably faked) picture allegedly of Huw Edwards showing his arse to a webcam. If it’s genuine he’s obviously toast. I’m afraid though it meets no legal standard, if he doesn’t issue a denial soon he’s already damned in the court of public opinion.

Thirty five fucking grand. 

2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Also one of the few sports where the women’s game has always matched the standard of the men’s. Navratilova, Evert and Steffi Graf could all give top 16 male players a decent game.

Controversial this, Eric. I suspect the male Champ would have wiped the floor with the female champ in most years since Ken Rosewall. In fact I rather suspect Steffi Graf only married Agassi to buy his silence about the score when they practiced together. I’m a fan of the women’s game, not just for the totty factor, but because it’s a much more skilled game. On grass the men’s game has become a power serve contest. 

40 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

You would probably be surprised to know that my favourite tennis player was Yanick Noah. Inventive and brilliant to watch. Should’ve won more than he did.

 Favourite female tennis player will always be Chris Evert. I can’t get over the vision of her in seamed stockings in that advert with Lewis Collins.

I’d have had you down as an Arthur Ashe man myself. 

17 hours ago, King Billy said:

If a 17 year olds dick pics are worth £35k at the BBC perverts dept. the mind boggles as to what price Pen could demand for a full length 20ft. selfie stick 4K shot of his terrifying monstrosity?

That’s the point isn’t Bill? I read the average Only Fans poster makes a couple of grand a year from their site, with only the top 1% making anything like serious money. Either the anonymous star has no idea what the going rate was, which makes them pretty fucking stupid, or they were paying a huge premium for some seriously depraved shit. The possibility that they had a financial domination kink, which has been known to make grown men meet trollops at ATMs and fork over hundreds to them in return for being spat at and called names, should not be ruled out with some of these rich degenerates. 35k is serious wedge, and the fact it’s apparently mostly gone to some county lines gang for tinfoil-wrapped narcotics with an aroma of arsehole, is a fucking tragedy. 

What would £35,000 buy in one of your establishments?

On the principle you can’t defame the dead, I think it’s worth a fiver e/w on Dale Winton, if only because he gave me endless indigestion talking about balls, red areas and big ones on that lottery show he did. Hiding in plain sight if you ask me. 

19 hours ago, Decimus said:

expected to prance around in gimp suits and other fetish gear in front of children, they are asking all of us "allies" to join in too. I'll join in alright, with a pair of garden shears and some pliers. I'll grant half the degenerate scums wishes without a tax funded NHS operation and I'll even throw in a free brick to the fucking head.

This used to be called “getting your excuses in early”. I think you should give the zipped gimp mask and arseless chaps a go, Decs. Perhaps at your next performance review. You’re clearly gagging for your poxy Council to give you your freedom, and the resulting wrongful dismissal tribunal would be both hilarious and strike a blow for common sense against the newspeak. You might even get Peter Tatchell and Edwina Izzard showing up to wave placards outside. 

Joker is a Cunt, always was. I don’t give a fuck what his stance on the vaccine was, much as I don’t care if Dr Fauci has a mean topspin forehand. I’m sure he’ll win most tournaments he enters at a canter, because there’s no much depth to the tennis these days, and he’s sadly quite good. A mightily unlikeable tosser, though. The hypocrisy of the English middle class lining up to applaud the prick from their debenture seats is as predictable as it is nauseating. He should by rights be playing to a half empty court. 

On 08/07/2023 at 18:08, Cuntybaws said:

If being hung, drawn, and quartered was good enough for William Wallace, then these mincing cunts had better watch out.

I refuse to believe there’s not a little bit of you stirred by the sight of men in skirts fingering their pipes furiously. 

On 06/07/2023 at 21:21, Cuntybaws said:

I think what's needed to lift the mood here is some Scottish Pirate Metal. Ladies and gentlemen, meet...  Alestorm!

 

I see your Kilted rock stars, and raise you with the Red Hot Chilli Pipers. An abomination. 

3 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

A face wile a well skelped arse, as we used to say in our neck of the woods.

By woods, do you mean tenements? 

11 hours ago, Wolfie said:

such is the libellous society we have become. 

Society is increasingly litigious, too. 

10 hours ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Done the widow yet, Doc?

Unlike some Corner stalwarts, my cock isn’t 9000 miles long. 

4 hours ago, LastoftheMullets said:

Crikey cobber that's a lot of words to say 'I'm an easily triggered, sexually frustrated, interracial cuckold porn watching, foot fetish having soy boy cunt with a micro penis who thinks having a wine cellar and a swimming pool is bragging material' Bonza!

I'll let you get back to strangle wanking yourself in the dark in your wine cellar anyway.

“Trapped in a small tight dark crevice in Thailand”. Don’t tell me, you work at GCHQ and compile the Times Cryptic in your time off?

I don’t wanna be in your gang, your gang. Fuck off. 

The NHS turns 75 today. Happy Birthday old girl. You once were beautiful. Now you’re knackered, gasping for breath, and unlikely to make 80. The public mostly don’t give a shit. It’ll take a sprinkling of medical bankruptcies to change hearts and minds, and even then they’ll be too stupid to realise they've been tucked up by capitalist scumbags and the Daily Mail. 

I’ll raise a glass of Chablis in the general direction of Nye Bevan later. I’m a bit nauseous right now having just seen that oily bastard Barclay get defenestrated by Beth Rigby. In any normal country there wouldn’t be a free lamppost for miles. 

2 minutes ago, southerncunt said:

You appear to be the Budweiser of the corner. Plentiful output but fucking awful. If you doxxed yourself you’d appear as a spotty 16 cocksucker with a thesaurus.

Get the fuck off my thread, shit for brains.

Fret not Southern, he’s pretty much guaranteed to be extinct in hours. 

9 hours ago, King Billy said:

Sorry for your loss Doc. I know it’s not much but  I’m pretty much free all day tomorrow and I could pop over (anywhere in the Herts and Essex area) and give his missus one up the wrongun to help in her time of grief. I wouldn’t even ask her for petrol money for the M4, but I’m sure she’s probably the type of person who’d insist on clearing that up before I’d even grabbed her arse or tits. 

I’m not trying to be a hero or anything but my stepmum still tells everyone that she doesn’t know if she’d have coped without my help when my old man passed away suddenly. 

This pallet bonfire we were discussing….any hope of you throwing yourself on it?

Sitting out by the fire pit on a beautifully clear night, the stars shining in all their glory, as the Jarrah logs crackle away. Half a bottle of Glenmorangie down. I lost an old friend today in the UK. Fuck Cancer. This one’s for you Mike, may the odds be ever in your favour. 

20 hours ago, Roadkill said:

There'll be at least one Just Stop Oil cunt who glued themself to a motorway as the worst possible time for the future archaeologists to ponder over

Like the infamous Pompeii wanker, perhaps? I imagine the JSO fellow won’t stand up to a nuclear blast though. From what I’ve seen on the telly they are about 70% mung beans and tofu. 

1 hour ago, Mrs Roops said:

You know there is. I was addressing you surreptitiously slipping in yet another post-brexit anecdote. 

Are you Player or Referee this week, just so we all know? Or do you intend on continuing this schizoid position of straddling both camps? And by “straddling both camps”, I’m not surreptitiously slipping in a reference to those infamous Readers Wives shots we’ve all been struggling for years not to confuse with the Great Pit of Carkoon. And by Carkoon I don’t mean @Eddie. 

1 hour ago, Mrs Roops said:

Ah, that's the thing about farmers, irrespective of nationality - they always take a parochial viewpoint. In fact the Aussie farmers benefited from a similar FTA whilst the UK was part of the EU yet they never produced the allocation of produce afforded to them under the EU-Aus agreement so its difficult to see as to how they will take advantage of an UK-Aus FTA which provides tariff-free agricultural produce which is seven times the size of the previous agreement. The truth is that the British are very much into consuming home-grown produce so the reality is Australia will fill the gap that British farmers can't supply provided that Australia can transport the product half-way around the world. One benefit to the UK is that part of the deal, Australia will provide the necessary nod-through for the UK to join the far more lucrative CPTPP (Trans-Pacific).

Here's an interesting aside - The UK-Aus agreement provides for about £14 billion p.a. of agricultural trade (imports and exports). The recent UK-USA-Aus submarine deal where Australia will purchase British designed and built (with some American tech) nuclear powered submarines is worth £350 billion.

Well, thanks for that. I’m sure there’s a point in there somewhere.

7 hours ago, LastoftheMullets said:

I doubt you've ever been to Wales in your life you slimy little faux GP, soy boy cunt otherwise you wouldn't be saying anything as ridiculous and bizarre about somewhere that looks like this and generally has a high standard of living and nice lifestyle.

I read that in the event of a full scale war with the septics China has plans drawn up to send wave after wave of millions of PLA troops via cargo ships to invade america's 'west coast' and slaughter every yank in the country they come across, now imagine what they'd do to you yank poodles in australia and how easily they'd do it 😉

I saw a documentary about 'western straya' on BBC4 not so long ago actually, great train journeys or something and i must say it looks like a giant cat litter tray, fuck off.

Oh dear, my little joke seems to have upset you. It’s rather a good job this is written down (well done on that, by the way) as every other argument I have ever had with one of you leek-fancier types has resulted in me being covered in spittle as you mangle your way through vowels and consonants like Vorderman on acid. Your foot-stomping insecurity about how beautiful Wales might be speaks largely for itself. Personally I can’t forgive the place for giving me my first and only needlestick injury on a Rugby field just outside Merthyr. I wasn’t playing with you savages for clarity, rather one of your young ladies had offered to show me how green was her valley and I rolled on to the fucking thing mid-act. 

Your hope that the PLA will one day slaughter every Australian is quite sweet of you. I will pass it on to our Armed Forces next time I see any of them in the pub. Perhaps you could give my regards to your local sheep farmers, who seem to have been tucked up like rollmop herrings by the Aus-UK FTA Boris was so desperate to sign. The local livestock community here take the view that the competitive edge they now enjoy over the British farmer might be the best use of a packet of TimTams since Marianne Faithful toured Australia with the Stones. 

Get fucked you thin-skinned cunt. Go stick your head in a popty ping and give yourself three minutes. I’m sure any Welsh housewife can give you an idea of what three minutes waiting for something to happen feels like. 

2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

That was pretty much it. It was brilliantly done. The totally unprepared ‘regional government’ bunkers, basically the cellars beneath town halls, perfectly illustrated the futility of attempting to ‘just carry on’ in the wake of something so comprehensively devastating. Sure, it was theoretical, but it was researched and advised upon by an army of seriously qualified boffins in the field of nuclear detonations and the after effects. The most chilling and disturbing bit of cinema I’ve ever seen. 

I remember snapshots of it even now Eric. The tearful pregnant Ruth scraping wallpaper while the radio tells her how to take cover “when you hear the air attack warning”. The bloke on the bog when the bomb drops. The woman pissing her trousers when she sees the mushroom cloud. And what does the CND woman say, before they cart her off to the cells? “You cannot win a nuclear war”. Bang on. If it eventually kicks off in the Northern Hemisphere, you’ll find me slowly decomposing surrounded by the contents of my wine cellar. At least down here we’ll get a bit of warning of nuclear winter.