King Billy

From behind with a fist up his arse

Anna Soubry and all these other cunts. Always wearing scarves around their turkey necks. Adam! Have you seen my apple anywhere?

Has anyone ever seen Shamima Begum and Alan Carr together?

That Heidi Allen Marks out of ten I’d definitely give her one. Phwaarr.

Young Frankenstein

G’night Jon boy

This is something?

Good for her?

Is that non Islamic ?

Not rhyming slang

Are you Susie Dent?

Depends which century you currently inhabit

Fuck me theyve got an Argos in Wales now. Wow

Dear Juan If you need any snow rest assured you can have as much as you want at a very favourable price. Always your amigo Justin baby

???

There ain’t even that many cunts on this corner

Just been flicking through this months copy of AK magazine. On page 47 they’ve done a great feature of Shamima Begum showing everyone around her magnificent new council home. The bin don’t look right to me though.

Fuckin hell! Sorry mate I didn’t know you’d been through all that too. Still, chin up, your gonna get one hell of a council gaff out of it.

That explains the limp

Khasim Kharum has written from jail to ask if he can join. He said he feels let down by the Co-op who have withdrawn his loyalty card without giving a reason

Absolutely true sir, and to absolutely kill off any last remaining vestige of our once great and world leading place in the sex crime industry these disrespectful foreigners are even importing their own victims now, thereby dispatching us to the annals of history. As my first probation officer once wisely confided to me “One day you’re the dog, next day your the lamp post” as he plunged his hand down the front of my trousers

One of my randomly chosen “devotchkas” in the” old in and out“ pulled a hamstring in her haste to attend some other previously unmentioned appointment. To the observer it must have looked like she was running away from me in a state of terror. That’s why people should not jump to conclusions because things are rarely what they seem.

👊😜

My next door neighbour has a glass leg and a wooden eye. Does this qualify him as a celebrity?