King Billy

My dad used to reminisce with us at family gatherings and one of his favourite stories about me was, When I first made an appearance on this earth he apparently shouted at the top of his voice “Fucking hell look at that cunt coming out of that cunts cunt!!”Oh how all the family used to laugh at his uncanny ability to get everything absolutely right.

Nice shirt son. Do they make them for men?

My first thought was what a load of cunts. And then my second thought was what a load of cunts. And then blah blah blah blah

Shakespeare had his critics Now look what you’ve done Your mums upset

As Mark ‘Chopper’ Read once said Your generosity will be your downfall

Sorry forgot to mention that they’re a bunch of fuckin cunts as well. Does anyone know what the toll for the Bridge on the River Kwai is now?

Liam Neeson could make amends for his unintentional outburst by wrapping his Schindler’s list Oscar in a football sock and taking the back of her fucking head off with one quick swipe. Open top bus to the oscars next week and all is forgiven.

The only reason Honda came here in the first place was so they could secretly spy on our British milk floats and steal our technology for their “world beating and innovative fucking hybrid minicab cum halal grooming car” We need to wake up and smell the sushi

Registered in a tax haven as well. So that’s what a new approach to openness in politics looks like. They wouldn’t answer questions on who was bankrolling their new ’politique’ Blair, Campbell, and all the other cunts seem to have suddenly dissapeared off the tv. Mmmmmmm!!!!

What goes Ha Ha Bonk? Shamina Begum laughing her head off

Well that’s that then.

For the last couple of days the impartial BBC news have been showing a picture of her without burka, hijab or whatever they are calling their medieval fancy dress this week, all foto shopped to make ‘it’ look like a normal human being. We’re all supposed to think Ahhh! She looks harmless, but the fucking brainless amoeba opens her gob and the bile starts spewing out again. She can definitely be banned from entering the country under the ‘ Dirty smelly filthy horrible cunts act 2019’ and I commend this statement to the house.

If all other mp’s of all parties joined them and fucked off to Outer Spackmolia it would probably go down as the greatest day in the history of everything🍾

I’ve often dreamed of Nigel Havers having an unfortunate but catastrophic accident and what opportunities that might present for ‘Moi’

After she’s plated my hairy arse

You just did

And the bloke said”Rolex or Cartier?”

I fuckin hate diy why do think I got married? If a jobs worth doing, make her do it, after she’s made my dinner and sucked me off while I’m watching countdown. God I love that woman!

Randy Bentwick

Tie Rack and Lego land

Thank god you’ve found my wife’s driving licence. That photo was a few years ago. She’s let herself go now. Still got her personality though. Fucking ugly cunt. Wish I’d never married her four times

And her penis tucked between her manly thighs

With a swift uppercut. Fuckin twats getting too big for his boots. Cunt

we’re

think