King Billy

59 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Smoking, although I quit smoking around a year ago, I have to admit to liking it... The smell, smoking after a meal or sex and when pissed and or coked up a cigarette can be a necessity. Whether you like it or not, smoking is cool. Anyways, enough about me, what about Rishi Sunak proposing an effective smoking ban by raising the legal smoking age each year? The cunts in parliament are voting on it as I write this and no doubt many had or are having a crafty cigarette before the vote. Fines for shops selling to underage smokers (good luck proving that) yet cigarettes brought in from abroad are allowed to be smoked. Will they search you to confirm your cigarettes are from another country? What a fucking pile of shit and yet another example of this country and its laws encroaching on our ability to enjoy and kill ourselves (if we want to). Rishi is a vegetarian and I doubt the boring cunt drinks either... I bet his stinking veggie farts cause more damage to people within his farts range than passive smoking ever would. Boris the daft cunt would never have allowed this to even get to a vote.

I doubt Rishi will stop vaping and all the corner shops selling that synthetic shite though will he?

It's enough to make to make me want to start smoking again. 20 Embassy and a bottle of Appleton.

Utter fucking cunts.

 

 

I’ve got 3 pallets of Woodbines stored in the bunker, and 20 thriving Virginia tobacco mother plants too, just in case they run low and I need to start growing my own roll up baccy. I wonder what the right honourable Rashid Sanuk would have to say about that?

Phillip Morris was a cunt.

3 minutes ago, entitled little cunt said:

Fucking things are vulgar and mostly  worn by young  Asians in lambourghinis who's dads corner shop did well on porno mags , out of date happy shopper sandwiches and selling  booze and fags to underage kids. A nice 50 year old Omega or longines are way more attractive,  more classy and the movements are a work of art rather than shite Rolex workings .

Micky Mouse had an ELC watch.

14 hours ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

I'm thinking of getting out of the rental market

Blowing all your housing benefit on White Lightning at the weekend was never going to end well Drew, was it?

38 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Some of them have special helmets.

‘I have a special purpose’

Navin R Johnson….1979.

39 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Utter bullshite.

You really expect us to believe your standards are so high that given the theoretical option of climbing on top of Miss Hendricks for a 10 microsecond hump, you’d refuse? Next you’ll tell us you’d say no to a threesome with a couple of Victoria’s Secret models.

Every non poof would jump at the chance of her big wobbly tits wrapped around their cock until the custard started to flow.

I believe @Neil should be the expert to trust in these matters 

At first glance it does appear eminently fuckable Stubbs. However decades of hard earned experience as an equal opportunities employer in the ‘rub and tug’ game has taught me that ginger trollops are amongst the lowest earners in the vagina rental industry. Very few men fantasise about a bossy, patronising, know all cuntess with a front arse like a rusty Brillo pad, a back arse like a helicopter landing pad and know how to punish an earhole in a way that makes Julia Hartley Brewer look like a fucking mute with a tampon stuck in her throat.

In fact Eddie is the only bloke I know who’s into that weirdness.

3 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

His walls may be padded

His mum told him it was ‘bouncy castle wallpaper’ when she had his bedroom done up with matching PVC bedsheets, as a surprise 45th birthday present. All of his friends would have been ‘well jel’ if he’d had any.

12 hours ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Fucking hell. Have you just found The Bob Monkhouse Book of Jokes 1965 - 1967 while clearing out your attic.

Clearing out someone else’s attic through the hole in the roof she made ripping the lead off.

8 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

You really are a thick fucking cunt aren’t you?

 Try brushing up on your Klingon. You’ve caught me in the right fucking mood today cunt. In other words, you’re fucking done here. 

Yeeeha! Release the hounds Eric.

3 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

I wouldn't have one of those ugly cunts with nobbly head stuck on the end of my cock.  Anyway I thought ELC was referring to clingfilm sticking to something not Star Trek. 

Righto.

3 hours ago, entitled little cunt said:

It's a shame you're  thick talentless clingon stuck to the arsehole of humanity.

Proper Klingons (spelled with a K) would never be found stuck to any arsehole. The forward bow is where they hang out.

22 minutes ago, entitled little cunt said:

.I think you're asking the wrong man

I agree. He should have asked Pen, the wrongest MAN ever.

50 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Do you think I'll get an imaginary M5?

I see no reason why not Raaas, being a member of the 2nd most valued and protected ethnic community in Khan Jong-Un (our glorious leader)’s 21’st century Londonistan.

Just make sure it belongs to a white man (or Alex Scott the football lezzer) before you stab the racist, white supremacist, descendant of a slave baron and claim it as a down payment on the reparations to come. That way you’ll be doing everything legally and probably be invited onto Piers Morgan’s show and celebrated as a hero. Uncle Tom maybe? I think everyone’s probably forgotten about Captain Tom and the swimming pool extension lark.

We’re fucked.

1 hour ago, Neil said:

Mercs gone, hope the cunt never commits a crime, there's so much DNA in it they'll lock him up for life!

Probably a lot less white British female DNA in it than any Rotherham, Telford, Rochdale, Bolton, Keighley etc. etc. etc. etc. minicab Neil.

It can’t be easy for you knowing that in your own country you can’t compete with the new generation of hard working sex beasts that we’ve imported from the third world. 
A bit like a British Leyland worker in the 70’s, standing at the bus stop in the freezing cold rain after work, while all the shiny new Datsuns and Toyotas drive past through a huge puddle, soaking him to the skin.
 

4 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Are you going to send a couple of hard pipe-hitting niggas to go to work on him with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch?

‘Ed’s dead baby’.

2 hours ago, Penny Farthing said:

Zee Zee Top or Zed Zed Top?

Fuck off.

8 hours ago, Eddie said:

It’s about time you traded that piece of crap in and got a proper sports car. 

Don’t ever speak to me like that again Edward. Without going into too much detail, let’s just say you’re messing with ‘a race car in the red’.

8 hours ago, Neil said:

Tell me what British made items are worth owning?

On 05/04/2024 at 21:56, ChildeHarold said:

something that looks like it's come out of Peter Andre's arse. 

Harvey’s cock?

1 hour ago, entitled little cunt said:

Is there anything more you'd like to add? .Far be it from me to say  but your comment is rather  lacking in depth. 

Get a fucking avatar if you want to survive the weekend.

No need to thank me.

1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

110 days now since the Princess of Wales was incontrovertibly seen in public. 

Those trips to the Windsor Farm Shop seem to have stopped then?

In case you had any doubt, they’re laughing at you.

She’s obviously just fine Doc. Surely Wills and little George showing up unannounced to watch their ‘beloved Aston Villa’ 🤔 last night proves that nothing’s up with mummy back at the morgue, sorry palace?

4 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Walk in the cunt, eat/shit/sleep in the cunt,

‘The Bibby Stockholm’ the cruise that gives you all this without leaving the pier.

36 minutes ago, Ape™️ said:

Why don’t you imagine yourself valeting and waxing your imaginary M4? I imagine you’d save a fortune.

I’m far too busy to even imagine doing that. Exactly like yourself I imagine.

26 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

Do I detect a twist of bitter ironic lemon in that generous glass of Sandeman's port? 

You’ve brought back a memory from many years ago at Club U.K. in Wandsworth, when admittedly I was absolutely fucking spannered on quite a few more than the recommended dosage  of ‘white doves’ and ‘snowballs’. Apparently (according to several of my fellow ravers) I found myself surrounded by a few bouncers at the bar and told to behave myself or fuck off, simply for repeatedly ordering two ‘port and lemons’ for myself and some bird who apparently didn’t even exist.

Happy days.

55 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

I’ll bet you never run out of home-grown helmet feta.

‘Bell-end Brie’ lol.