King Billy

5 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Be careful with those B&Q cunts. One of them came up to me and asked me if I wanted decking, luckily I got the first punch in. Be careful though.

I’ve got the Homobase crew backing me. This could end up a turf war. Now we’re talking. My mate started on the trolleys at B+Q  last August and now he owns his own overalls and safety boots. Who said Britain was fucked? Every day he rides that bus to work grinning like Lord fucking Sugars apprentice.

Seems to me the only sensible thing the slant eyed yellow midgets have ever done is drive their 998cc Nissan Micras on the correct side of the road. Unlike their neighbours the tiddlywinks who don’t. Anyway they’re nothing to worry about cos I saw on tv that their army are are all made from terracotta. Cunts have even got a fake army.

1 hour ago, Earl of Punkape said:

Here’s my appraisal of Jap crap.

I wouldn’t be seen dead in a Japanese car.....They’re for penny pinching plebs and grooming-gang Pakistani taxi drivers.

Fuck off cunt.

And who had the fuckin dragons den idea ‘Lets all live in paper houses and sniff schoolgirls panties?

1 hour ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

Sorry, I missed my mandatory re-education course consisting of a box set of Goodnight Sweetheart DVDs, a Keep Calm and Carry On tea towel, and a knotted Union Jack Hankie for my head. I forgot how dewy eyed you idiots go when anyone questions the notion of Anglo-exceptionalism. 

You’re a fucking dunce. You’ll do well when the Junta come to power. 

Who do you think you are kidding Mr Hitler?

4 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

The one in Chipping Norton has a side of Bacon nobody seems to want. 

Gammon’s the way forward now mate

Just heard Theresa May and Chukka Umunna had a secret meeting tonight. Downing Street has denied that Black Rod was seen to pop out during their trade talks.

2 hours ago, Crab said:

So climb on a TVR gear stick and twist baby as you see 3000 unemployed Swindonites shuffle past to the local food bank with their shoppers. Happy? Course you are because you're a selfish prick. 

I drove down to the food bank last week and they had no caviar or fucking truffles left. What a cunt of a day that was.

25 minutes ago, The Bishop said:

The trouble with that orange outfit is that once you have seen it you cannot unsee it.

I thought it looked rather fetching, sort of like she was fetching something for you down at B +Q

3 hours ago, Cuntybaws said:

I reckon Nicola Sturgeon will be next to join. All that picture needs now is some porky Krankie-looking cunt in a tartan mini-skirt.

And Alex Salmond with his hand up it

12 minutes ago, Crab said:

I think this should be the last word on this miserable cunt who would have been better not being born. 

She could possibly be tied to the blades of her ‘husbands family’s windmill and have all the village youths throw their clogs at her. First one to knock her head into the bin wins a big bunch of tulips. 

 

Just a shame if your on the council waiting list in Bethnal Green. Your being knocked back 1 place the minute this cunt gets off the plane. But hey ho.

8 hours ago, Crab said:

10 out of 10 for fucking cheek. 

https://www.spirefm.co.uk/news/local-news/2808127/huge-russian-flag-unfurled-at-salisbury-cathedral/

 

Mr Obramovitch’s tarpaulin store has certainly filled a void in the Salisbury Cathedral Renovation Supplies market. Obviously these russkies don’t become billionaires by pure luck. Clever cuntskis

4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

U can get through it hun 🌈🤡🤡🤡

As Mr Bedingfield famously sang   “Gimme just a second and I’ll be alright”

I’ve let everyone down, Mostly myself 

14 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Don't ever let @Cuntybaws catch you doing this.

I knew that last 3 litre bottle of White Lightning was a mistake.

My uncle started smoking and 2 bensons later he was gone. Everyone at the asbestos factory where he worked turned up for the funeral. So kids Just say NO

10 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Wannabuydvd?

I’ve only got Betamax. Bought it off  a couple of nice Irish guys in a transit outside Curry’s. The box was mint but they must of put an old one inside by mistake

10 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Sorry folks, my cousin couldn't resist it. He was told "Just strip the fucking lead and get the fuck out of there". Always been the joker of the tribe  

Yeah but he’s still gonna tarmac the driveway tomorrow, Isn’t he?   Or he’ll have to return all the deposit. His word is his bond

2 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

You just wait till JC is standing outside number 10, fist clench salute, corduroy Lenin cap at a jaunty angle to the strains of 'The Red Flag'. You'll be the first up against the wall, comrade Billy. 

Off to the gulag for me then. Doh

2 minutes ago, scotty said:

Quite. People have short memories, our brief flirtation with the euro did us a great deal of damage, but we'd been told by the pro-europeans that we'd be fucked if we failed to join it. In fact, our economic woes started to ease the moment we left the ERM and allowed sterling to reset at it's proper level. 

Yeah but if only we’d listened to the clever cunts Clarke, Clegg, Cable, Blair, Ashdown, etc etc etc, and joined the magic Euro we could’ve been all living the dream now like them lucky Greeks and Spanish and Italians and Portuguese. When will we ever learn eh?

1 hour ago, EreptileDysfunction said:

Why, is Britain going to suddenly become some radioactive wasteland where people need to use a gas mask to go to the local shop?

That’s just Dudley apparently 

On 16/02/2019 at 02:29, Monumental cunt said:

Dear Mr Junkers diver bomber cunt

We have had a look at your fucking shite attempt of putting forward a tough deal.  Funny how you think you have to make Brexit a stern example to any other EU country.  I thought everyone was perfectly happy under ze German jackboot. Why should you need such a strict badly thought out tough policy if all other states are fucking ecstatic at being in the EU shit zone.  Funny that.

Anyway we put it to the people and errrrr they are more fucking switched on than we thought.  Despite some fucking blind cunts voting to remain in the non democratic, totalitarian, fascist dictatorship.  The vast majority in a turn out not seen before on such a scale, voted fuck off.

So we had a bit of a chat and looked at your fucking ridiculous offer and this time the House of Commons actually grew a pair of bollocks and said, fuck off.

I know I popped over and tried to tell you that your fucking ridiculous terms were not going to get voted through.  However, with March 29th approaching fast I think we are going to do one of two things.....

1).  Sit and watch the German ministers march into your Belgium office, they have a history of doing that, and demanding you sort your shit out at the 11th hour.   It was always going to need ze German car manufacturers to put the biggest corporate pressure on you wine drinking lazy long dinner cunts in the EU.  You quickly send over an email at 11.59pm on the 28th saying sorry and that we can have anything we want so long as those Nazi cunts can flog their cars to the UK for 20% more than in the USA.

2). Alternatively we wait until 1 minute past midnight and have exactly the same conversation.  You look cunts either way.

over to you big boy.

yours

Rt Hon Porn Star Teresa May 

They have to wait till 23.59 on the 28th to see if the frogs have surrendered and which side ze wops are on today

1 hour ago, cuntspotter said:

Being of Asian origin and Moslem , this young woman is already batting on a losing wicket as far as the majority of commentators here are concerned. If what the papers say is true, and that is always a big if, that her parents have radicalised her in the first place, that places her even deeper in the shit. So, what I am about to say will not be popular. She may well be an unpleasant young woman with views that we find objectionable , indeed unacceptable. But, she is a British citizen... she is one of ours. If she gets home she needs to be investigated...a decision needs to be made about her stability, suitability as a parent and the milieu in which the child might be raised after all , she has presided over the sad and needless deaths of her first two infants.. She may keep the child, but she might not. Her husband won’t come here...he is wanted for terrorism offences in Holland...indeed she may be guilty of offences herself. Whatever, she should come home with that child and face the music........ is she a cunt?  Absolutely.

She could possibly be tied to the blades of her ‘husbands family’s windmill and have all the village youths throw their clogs at her. First one to knock her head into the bin wins a big bunch of tulips

9 minutes ago, Crab said:

I am wearing my Corduroy Corbyn Cap.... and nothing else! With Russian flag hiding my modesty - obviously like the one in Salisbury it's massive. Eh titter ye not! Wasn't the choir section of Sally Cathedral Edward Heath's favourite spot to come and unwind? 

Wiltshire constabulary have just stopped a Lada near the cathedral containing Jeremy Corbyn, John McDonnell, Ken Livingstone and Diane Abbot naked in the boot. Mr Corbyn has been cautioned for possession of out of date elbow patches on his corduroy sports jacket and a further charge of associating with fuckwits

7 minutes ago, Crab said:

Shaken but not stirred. With a twist of that lemon Gavin. 

Nostrovia comrade!!

2 hours ago, Earl of Punkape said:

The Dean of the Cathedral has had a serious sense of humour failure...

lol.

Could be a secret signal to a Russian sleeper cell