Major Cunt

You've got a real problem with that up in the schemes of jockland. Apparently every weekend loaded up on Buckfast your teenagers cut each other to ribbons. During the Afghanistan conflict Scottish surgeons were highly prized given their knowledge of stitching battle wounds.

That's hard to stitch. Known in the trade as a double bladed Gillette bayonet. Now there's only one of two ways a man would know this information. He's either done a bit of porridge, or knows a man who has!

Stubbs, don't be drawn inter speaking like de spud-munchers. I've got time for you, and avoiding you sounding like the product of a Dublin comprehensive...

Fucking hell, Panz, let it go me old son, it's not like you've even got a dog in the race, and considering how you bang on about running all the time you're sounding like Dublin's answer to Jimmy Savile. So there's no possible way of you being old enough to witness the big bad British empire, and the Black and Tans activities. It's pure envy that you couldn't match us, couldn't beat us, and Brexits your only chance for a minor victory... You fecking eejit!

Let's be candid for one moment, Panz. Your bog probably has the same literacy rate and GDP to match Romania. They let you cunts in because they knew you'd never try to leave. You're probably only ten years away from a failed state, and when the rotting edifice of the EU comes crashing down you will be. Only difference is this time blowing up Canary Wharf won't get you fuck all...

This level of treachery would make even Napoleon blush, Withers.

There's absolutely no wriggle room here @Dyslexic cnut. If you just grow a pair to quote my old mate @judgetwi, you might get some clemency, or carry on bullshiting!

I thought you were in the group chat already mate. I'll add you in.

I'll add Wolfie into our group messages. Eric, and Dec's are gonna piss themselves laughing over this revelation!

Cheers, Uncle Ape. The Corners Julian Assange strikes again - minus the abuse of the Venezuelan embassy staff, and the dodgy Swedish allegations which was all bollocks. Fucking hell. The "hello" PM in the middle of the night is priceless...

I think you're on the ropes, son. Time to grab your spoon and poor man's charlie, and have another fix...

Terrible. A decent counter punch only needs one or two skillful grammatical blows. You've completely over done it and shown yourself up as the far end of the spectrum wanker we all suspected. Here's another tip. Stop name dropping me all over the Corner, as its the undeniable mark of an easily riled spastic!

Fucking hell, Wolfie. You're certainly throwing your hat in the ring by mentioning Dyslexic in such a derogatory fashion. In two short months he's established himself as the new Decimus, and his razor sharp wit along with his repertoire will surely have you running to Roops.

Panz, there's about as much chance of me voting Conservative as there is me sipping a pina colada at Punkers local golf club. I think you're wrong about Britain fading into obscurity though, there's too much history and legacy at stake. We gave the former colonies systems of law, order, governance and bar the African ones they flourished. We abandoned South Africa the jewel of the continent. English is still the most widely spoken language along most of our trading partners. Your greatest contribution to the world is Guinness, famine, and James Joyce. I'm disappointed over the boy's missing Thatcher in Brighton, and failing to cripple Tebbit instead of his wife, but that's the Irish for ya...

Ti's a fair, point, Panz. The Red Hand Brigade and the rest of the unionist paramilitaries were just as bad. The only difference was they weren't blowing up English boozers so you can understand the bigotry. Blighty will be ok me old son, remember we once ruled a third of the globe. Your lot couldn't even harvest a root vegetable, but you did colonise the Eastern US. I'm third generation Irish myself mate, so I've no grudge against the emerald Isle.

Bollocks, you love it, Panz. Your ongoing feud with Bill over who's getting the keys to spudland always makes me chuckle. I've noticed you've stopped defending McGuinnes and Adams. A wise move on your bog-trotting behalf as even the most partisan punter regards them as a pair of despicable cunts...

I'm hungry, Eric, and I feel my fellow tiger sharks are ready to feast. A sprat to catch a mackerel in the words of 'Gene Hunt'.

I fucking won't. I'll probably be clearing my nostrils and eating benzos in a desperate attempt to bring my heart rate down, but you're more than welcome to try...I'll even buy you a lilo!

For some reason I'm outta likes, Stubbs, but I couldn't have put it better. Myself and Dec's have labelled it 'the caged lower primate technique'. You chuck enough shit posts around the Corner and some will stick to the board. It's a tried and tested method for fucking idiots - Pen being a prime example, but failing miserably. However, the festive period normally sees the likes of Stickers and the rest of the first squad make an appearance. The overweight Welsh wizard Bubba has already stuck his head in...

I've just noticed you've made the leaderboard, and my only conclusion is Santa receiving that letter. I wouldn't bank on holding the position though...

There's far more Ahmed's up in your deliberately neglected wasteland. Tell the isolated old folks expecting visits from their loved ones "to suck it up". I would have thought you'd have been keeping a lower profile after your recent pasting. Fucking idiot!

Agreed. You've got little wigga shits running around knifing each other daily on the streets of our cities. Instead of stop and search I'd like see them pulled into the back of a meat wagon and battered senseless with truncheons. It worked back in the good old days. Deploying soldiers on the street corners isn't a bad idea either. Cherie fucking Blair is mainly responsible for the urban crisis due her human rights work, and whispering into Tony's ear. A pair of fucking cunts that complement each other...

It's a shame that David Copeland missed you at the Admiral Duncan. Apparently being behind the toilets entrance door, and ensconced in trap 3 with a Bulgarian transvestite acted as a makeshift barrier, but your civil partner ordering a pink champagne was not so fortunate.

Problem is that politics has become a career. You get a cunt fresh from university employed as a communications assistant who then climbes the greasy pole to become an MP. Gone are the Neil Kinnock's, Paddy Ashdown's, John Prescott's ect. Local MP's used to be businessman done good who moved into politics with life experience.

Boris thought he could be Churchill but times have changed. Churchill was the man to win a war, but the public wisely decided the economic rebuild would be better served by Clement Attlee.