Major Cunt

On 08/05/2024 at 21:56, King Billy said:

Fucking hell Major. I thought the vaccines had done you in mate. Good to have you back even though I’m off to Kiev tomorrow to look at a possible Christmas tree site which has just become available.

Still hanging in there, KB, and am need of the shits and giggles here. Bit early for Christmas trees but I suppose the M4 won't pay for itself mate.

13 hours ago, entitled little cunt said:

Oh I'm despised, that news has really depressed me .I try so hard to be liked .All I wish for is those quality posters to see me as a friend .I think that's it .I can't go on in this harsh world,  it's too much .My tears are falling. I hope you're happy with what you've done. It should be on your conscience for ever .Good bye cruel world .

I'm blown away with your grasp of sarcasm, ELC, and obviously incredibly hurt. Stick with our resident has been troll Frank and I'm sure you'll learn the ropes. He's been bested by just about every newbie and now relies on the likes of Pen and you as support. You're a thin skinned grade a wanker who's about as funny as cot death.

21 minutes ago, Frank said:

The Major has to be the most idiotic poster the site has ever seen. The deluded gimp seems to think that disappearing for two years - after being totally destroyed by yours truly - entitles him to a free rein. @Major Cunt don’t you fucking dare.

Put the crack pipe down, Kleftiko, you delusional, aids riddled fucking idiot! I'll have you scraping the side of your Hotpoint for Ming's missing arsehole if you continue. 

20 hours ago, ChildeHarold said:

I've just been watching again Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead where the practice of shit eating as some sort of ritual among inmates crops up.   Is that where you got this term of abuse? 

Stop trying to suck me off, cretin.

23 hours ago, entitled little cunt said:

Have you considered hanging yourself ?.I'll kick the chair away if you can't manage it .

You're way out of your depth and also despised by every quality poster. It's not subjective, dickhead, it's factual. 

Clock's ticking...

11 hours ago, Frank said:

Insufferable fucking moron. You are not welcome here. 

Eat shit, faggot. 

6 hours ago, Wolfie said:

A quick search revealed this filthy fucking pig doesn't have a bit of territory on the Corner, which, given his self-entitlement, is a little surprising, and especially because he's worthy of a nom more than most.

While the Maitlis interview is old news, this interview is brilliant. One of the hightlights is the laminated photo Andy leaves in his bedroom draw, which shows all 72 of his teddy bears in situ on his bed, so palace maids know precisely where each needs to be placed – otherwise he throws a wobbly. 

Paedophile links aside, if the first video doesn't underline what a gargantuan, epic fucking cunt he is, the fact he gropes his daughter's arse at his mother's funeral ought to. What a nasty piece of shit.

 

 

Quality nom, Wolfie, and well overdue. I would have expected his car crash Newsnight interview to have catapulted the filthy nonces name to every self respecting cunt on the Corner. One can only assume that the cost of living is creating a crisis of it's own on these esteemed pages as this self entitled below 50 iq received little attention.  Personally, I couldn't believe the brass neck of the cunt who from his ivory tower expected to pull the wool over the publics eyes. Tales of his sweat glands no longer producing after a few over flights of the Falklands 40 years ago.

I was fucking amazed that old Liz and Co gave him the ok in the first place,  and that he hadn't disappeared to the other side of the world on urgent royal matters if they didn't. The public should be baying for blood given his incredibly dubious circle of pals which should even ring alarm bells with the likes of Harold. 

Sadly I doubt the cunt will ever be extradited to a supermax jail in the states denying big Al the opportunity to stretch his royal sphincter. 

A wrongun of the highest calibre who should be loosing his eyeballs via the crows in The Tower. 

On 30/04/2024 at 10:13, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

Yawn. 

Have you ever thought about spell checking this piece of shit nomination? I mean, it'll still be a piece of shit but at least it'll be readable. 

How's the successful business going then? Let me guess, so successful you hardly have to work which enables you to post like a spastic on here all day.

Give it a rest and fuck off you utterly shit, out of your depth idiot. 

Lol. 

Evening, OCR. His rants are very Judge like but lack the Mike Reid-esque punchlines. He seems to have formed a symbiotic duo with Harold which is disconcerting. 

How long has this fucker been around for...he seems to be more resilient than untreated piles.

26 minutes ago, entitled little cunt said:

I wouldn't for one moment say you are wrong. You are entitled to your opinion as I am mine .Mention cunt and you appear 

Have you considered emailing your local MP with the cutting edge insights you're so fond of posting. I'd suggest a good old fashioned letter but a fountain pen would probably end up embedded in a eye or similar. Nobody here is the thought police bar Roops', I just don't think you're fully grasping the game. 

Fucking hell. I'm gone a couple of months and there's spackers attempting to turn this place into a poor man's Question Time. They've either got skins thicker than an alligators or you cunts are slacking.

Rumour has it that our paraplegic zionist could make a comeback when the weather's too cold to hold binoculars...

2 hours ago, King Billy said:

Good evening Major. Good to see you back. How was your time with The Wagner Group?

It's been eye-opening, Bill. As a thoroughbred, party line-toeing nazi I was dubious about fighting it out with my own but the money being promised by Vlad was just to good to turn down.

Rusty is sadly up shit creek without a paddle and will always be tarred with the rapist brush. Regardless of my own opinions surrounding the feral looking, conspiracy seeking, ex smackhead. We shouldn't be having a trial through the media when the old bill are not even involved. Any old slag desperate for a few quid can allege that he's fingered her beaver 🦫 ect.

Didn't that old cunt who plays Ken Barlow go through the same shit. 

6 hours ago, Penny Farthing said:

I even left the front door unbolted and yet nothing happened.

Disappointed, eh, Pen? Are the locals only interested in your capacious sphincter and not your Black Mamba.  🤔 

Thanks for setting up the double entendre. 

On 24/12/2022 at 22:33, Neil said:

It was this years TV special 'Only Pools And Corpses'

Which also happens to be the name of Jewdy's autobiography...

On 23/10/2022 at 21:22, Horrified Suburbanite said:

If BJ gets back in this week, he'll be out again by December when the forthcoming recall petition sucedds. Anyway, well done you for getting this nom back OT. Have a coconut.

On 23/10/2022 at 19:09, ProfB said:

Boris will be back in power by Fri. My bestie, Big Kazza's great Aunty Tilly got her crystal ball out & predicted, BoJo is going to do a Churchill & come back again. Like a boomerang.

She also correctly predicted Big K, would meet a lovely young man Sat & she did: Nigel-James, a male nurse.

 

Comparing Boris to Churchill is akin to comparing Boris Yeltsin to Putin. Both Boris's are little more than empty vessels with strings. Complete fucking idiots with about as much to offer their respective countries as you contribute to the Corner.

I take great offence in your comparison of Churchill to Boris due to the former being one of my English heroes up there with Field Marshall Montgomery.

You've been pissing on my leg recently, Prof, and it's not gone unnoticed.

In the words of Kleftiko "you've been warned".

@Horrified Suburbanite, ignore the above, double quoted.

On 24/10/2022 at 21:33, King Billy said:

Evening Major. Good to see you back. I’m assuming your absence has been due to an all inclusive stay at the Bangkok Hilton or some other exclusive establishment. I hope you didn’t encounter too much difficulty checking out prematurely.

Blame Frank. I had sixty kg of the finest Peruvian stashed at a port north of Lima. The cunt told me that he'd purchased another chest freezer for Ming and that his old man knew the Atlantic like the back of his hand. After a week of waiting I thought I'd chance it on a BA flight to Heathrow.

@Frank, that shit was on consignment. The cartel are not best pleased and a couple of sicario's are heading to Edgware!

54 minutes ago, ProfB said:

Curl up and die, you cunt wagon without an handbrake.

Unlike your Eddie Stobbart wagon, eh, Prof? I bet you smudged your lipstick whilst tapping out that little tirade on the M1.

I'm interested to know exactly what I've done to get under your anchor tattooed skin though...

Start making me laugh or I'll have you dancing like Buffalo Bill ala Silence Of The Lambs sharpish!

On 22/10/2022 at 20:32, Decimus said:

or a full time carer for some spastic who can't wipe their own arse

Don't knock it until you've tried it, mate. For the princely sum of a ton a week i get the pleasure of leaving the Judge in a soiled nappy pleading for a change. I then outsource the job to a Ugandan illegal for a tenner. Sure I have to put up with him curtain twitching with the binoculars in the summer and a few trips to Bargain Booze, but you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs. 

On 01/10/2022 at 12:45, Decimus said:

What an idiot, if he wanted to pull this off he should have borrowed Lord Penelope's capacious trousers.

Any punter worth his salt would have placed a wager on the Judge as the would be tea leaf. I was fucking disappointed to find out the man hadn't attempted this daring heist with the aid a scooter.

On 28/09/2022 at 23:12, Decimus said:

Were you ever in Filthy McNasty's, Frank?

Maybe. The Pink Flamingo, The Admiral Duncan, and many a brothel in South East Asia. The dago gets around a bit in order to fill his carnal desires.

3 hours ago, Decimus said:

Never mind this shit, you proof reading wanker, I've got a question.

If Mitch "The Knowledge" Kleftiko picks up a fare from Euston and takes a 19.8 miles round trip detour via High Barnet to Liverpool Street, how many cigarette burns will you end up having on your hands after he gets home to the Barbican studio flat?

I'm thinking about potential safe locations to flee to in the event that Vald decides to go full Armageddon. I believe that Norfolk has it's fair share of RAF bases, but am also thinking that the swamp may escape. It's either that or Propers bunker. Hopefully his generator packs up and I'm not forced to watch his Bilderberg stack pile.

I can't see the cunt going full on, but tactical nukes seem to be a real possibility.

What are your thoughts

11 hours ago, cunt said:

Go bother you Poodle (man's best friend™) apologist mate Woofles with your pointless drivel, even a fuckwit with a crack-addled brain like you should've remembered, I fuckin' hate dogs.

 

What was the score with the avatar that you were asked to change?

17 hours ago, ProfB said:

Pork pies

I'd wager heavily that there's enough of them stashed in your cab to reconstruct a sow. It must be a fucker to change gears in a pair of heels...

Truly yours, Major.

2 hours ago, Decimus said:

Are you also on 4Chan?

Fucking Reddit, you utter creep.

I wouldn't hold out for answer, but why on God's green earth is a 50 year old hipster trolling the pages of Reddit in the early hour's. Personally, I would have expected him to be cruising around WC1 with a fistful of tenners in the old man's black cab.

6 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

Get back in your cab, Dave.

Careful, mate. Dave's in possession of a monkey wrench to rival Lord P's hampton and an early morning delivery in the west country.

I'm picturing that 80s film with some poor cunt getting chased by a lorry.