scotty Posted December 14, 2015 Report Share Posted December 14, 2015 1 hour ago, nobgobbler said: I'll do that, us she-cunts have our reputation to think about. That'd be the reputation enjoyed by ladies who frequent a website called Cunts Corner, eh gobbler? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted December 14, 2015 Report Share Posted December 14, 2015 Fuck that. The only people who should talk about toiletry incidents are Shiteotricians and you don't meet many of them. Twisted fuckers, the lot of you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted December 14, 2015 Report Share Posted December 14, 2015 31 minutes ago, Manky said: Fuck that. The only people who should talk about toiletry incidents are Shiteotricians and you don't meet many of them. Twisted fuckers, the lot of you .... and Stickers the shitologist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest nobgobbler Posted December 14, 2015 Report Share Posted December 14, 2015 2 hours ago, Agentpeanut said: "Mr Cockfingers latest novel 'Not shitting where you eat' is a heart warming tale of shitting, fisting, shiny bog rolls, and arse bleeding, that invokes the same kind of emotions one must experience when being on the receiving end of a donkey punch. Fuck off Shakespeare, there's a new literacy master in town, one whose body of work shall be taught to snotty nosed little shits for generations to come. Fucking good job Quincy!" -Some Cunt If he's not making it up he's probably got arse cancer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted December 14, 2015 Report Share Posted December 14, 2015 33 minutes ago, nobgobbler said: .... and Stickers the shitologist. I forgot about that cunt, and his anal-prober Decimus. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted December 14, 2015 Report Share Posted December 14, 2015 15 hours ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Every time I am put in a position whereby I must shite away from the house, and I don't mean the office or anything controlled, it's a fucking cunt. Last Thursday morning before leaving Casa Cockfingers I wasn't quite there, despite expending some grunting and heaving trying to shite out the sirloin from day before. Fucking caught out, en route to meet some cunt on the Riverside in stinking Glasgow, in the pishing rain, limited venues. Stopped in a shit cafe full of ugly wet bastards, hoop drooling shite, got to the pan just in time for the first blurt- alas- the remainder solid, not rock solid but fairly elastic - problematic. Lodged about 2/3 committed. Cunt. Late as fuck so caution to the wind, I decided to snip and retract, snip and retract. As we know this is second best to a clean slam dunk, no "calving", but often necessary. Usually one can crimp off relatively cleanly and with an indrawn breath "suck" that turtle back into its shell to await a second break for the sea. No such fucking luck! Could not snip that shite! I managed to bottleneck it a bit, give it a tiny waist, but my hoop was certainly out of trim from Mrs C's recent merciless fistings and couldn't quite cheesewire right through. Normally it's like a giant squids beak, but not this time- no fucking danger! Decision point. What to do? Come on Quincy, what would Magiver do? Either wait for a "gravity assist" (no fucking time, that's out), attempt a full retraction (risky), or plough in with a fistful of bog roll and hand crimp/Caesarian the cunt. Right, fucking option C- inelegant but at least you're in the driving seat, go for it. Bastard shiny bog roll! Who invents this shit, who buys it? Must it be a frictionless surface? I cautiously grip the shite at its narrowest gauge- right by the hoop- between thumb, forefinger and pvc bog roll, I fuck it up and squidge it, the texture and resistance is fucking rank so I bottle it. I know I'm fucked. The residual dump has that uncomfortable feeling indicating it's much larger than reality- it must go, so I fall to heaving, straining, eyeballs bulging as I become some kind of purple Ainsley fucking Harriot. Fucking nosebleed - right into my keks and inside my light grey suit trousers. Shite half born, only thing left to soldier on with the shite bog roll, literally spreading it up my back like Nutella. That fucking stuff- so shiny on the flat, but sharp as fuck on the fold. Wiped and wiped but every time caked in shite - fuck all difference- until my rings blood appears with the shite. Cunt. Shitty sore arsed stupid fucking cunt trudging through the pissing Glasgow rain with apparent vadge bleeding going on, to meet some builder cunt who would assuredly rip the fucking piss? Fuck no- 200 taxi home to scrub the shite and blood off in the shower. Fucking total cunt. And interesting. Proof if proof was ever needed, that taking triple penetration from random strangers for 40 years man and boy, will absolutely destroy your excretory system. I imagine that your arsehole collapsed in on itself many moons ago, and now has all the elasticity of an old mans scrotal sack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted December 14, 2015 Report Share Posted December 14, 2015 1 hour ago, Manky said: I forgot about that cunt, and his anal-prober Decimus. It's a shame that breathing is an involuntary process controlled by your autonomic nervous system. It'd make my fucking decade if you forgot that as well, you senile old cunt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted December 14, 2015 Report Share Posted December 14, 2015 4 hours ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: your arse must have been relieved there was something coming out of it rather than being viciously inserted. You have to take the rough with the smooth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ahriman Posted December 14, 2015 Report Share Posted December 14, 2015 1 minute ago, Decimus said: Proof if proof was ever needed, that taking triple penetration from random strangers for 40 years man and boy, will absolutely destroy your excretory system. I imagine that your arsehole collapsed in on itself many moons ago, and now has all the elasticity of an old mans scrotal sack. Quincy's arsehole has endured more punishment then the average Guantanamo Bay Inmate, and by the sound of it is every bit as brown as one too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted December 14, 2015 Report Share Posted December 14, 2015 10 minutes ago, Decimus said: Proof if proof was ever needed, that taking triple penetration from random strangers for 40 years man and boy, will absolutely destroy your excretory system. I imagine that your arsehole collapsed in on itself many moons ago, and now has all the elasticity of an old mans scrotal sack. A wizards sleeve Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decimus Posted December 14, 2015 Report Share Posted December 14, 2015 3 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: A wizards sleeve Is that you subliminally telling me you are a multi along with the Sleeve account? QUICK, SOMEONE LIGHT THE JAZZ SIGN! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Bill Stickers Posted December 14, 2015 Report Share Posted December 14, 2015 6 hours ago, Cuntopolis said: Will some cunt please give me a précis of this nom, before I ask him to kill himself and stop wasting people's time with pathetically long noms. Stop trying to throw your weight around you cunt, showing off how much of a veteran you are on the Corner by mentioning ghosts of Christmas past. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted December 14, 2015 Report Share Posted December 14, 2015 6 hours ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Remember, this was Glasgow. They thought I was fucking Hollywood. Not Paul Hollywood mind, fuck off. Id have said "royalty", but they'd have cut my throat from ear to ear. Thank you for the reminder, Quincy, location had indeed slipped my mind. Good work, quince. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Wizardsleeve Posted December 14, 2015 Report Share Posted December 14, 2015 6 hours ago, nobgobbler said: I'll do that, us she-cunts have our reputation to think about. Indeed. Virtue is critical for a fine upstanding lass tackling the misogynist, chauvinistic cunts infesting this site....err...got your Christmas shopping done, then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted December 14, 2015 Report Share Posted December 14, 2015 2 hours ago, Decimus said: Is that you subliminally telling me you are a multi along with the Sleeve account? QUICK, SOMEONE LIGHT THE JAZZ SIGN! That cunt? How dare you! No, I could never be fucked with that shit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.