Decimus Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 20 minutes ago, Agentpeanut said: I see that agency ballsed up my order again. I specifically wanted a cunt for fucking. Tell me about it. I specifically asked for a lifetime supply of super tight cunts to fuck, but ended up with half the population of Golders Green in my house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted January 4, 2016 Report Share Posted January 4, 2016 On 3 January 2016 at 19:37:50, Jiggerycock said: Went to this monument to wank yesterday and I really did try to keep an open mind However, 'Some men you just can't reach. So you get what we had here yesterday'. There's the installations, which are by rote, laughable (Exhibit A: monochrome paintings. Have a guess what that involves? A single colour on a canvas you say? Correct! Go to matron for an extra bit of tuck!), simplistic, worthless and ultimately, annoying. But this pales into insignificance when one reads the blurb accompanying them! Open the thesaurus at 'pretentious' and keep reading! "Achromes were intended to banish narrative content from his work and explore the concept of ‘nothingness’" "This tension may be embodied in a coiled energy, or emerge from a careful process of accumulation" " the concern was with an existential ‘being in the world’, a heightened awareness of the separateness of experience. This sense of isolation implied a questioning of the wider community. In the highly polarised atmosphere of the Cold War, it was a potentially subversive threat to social cohesion" I understand what these words mean - just not the way they bump up against each other used in the way they are above. Yet millions of pounds are spent indulging the purveyors of this tripe and one is made to feel so pathetically 'outside' the inner circle of chin-stroking wankers that get off on this collective delusional deception that all of this has any value and meaning. The cunts would probably enjoy the fact the only emotion I felt after two hours of this shit was intense burning anger. As a postscript, my family and I walked over the Millennium Bridge to St Pauls Cathedral. There was a service on and, as you may have gathered, I know dick about religion. However, sitting there, listing to the choir and the organ, gazing up into the beautiful dome and the representations that real artists had created to their notion of a greater glory, I would go with this 'art' in a heartbeat over the offal on display a mile away on the South Bank. Good nomination. Especially so against the dreary magnolia backdrop that is nearly all site content since after Boxing Day, which reads like the fucking Big Issue- scanning down the new nom list- some interesting ish newsy commentary but fuck all properly funny. ProfB shite, minorly annoying things cunts have noticed- fucking dishwater. Wherever is the boy-weasel Gurt? At least that cunt had spunk, albeit mostly running out his hoop, filling up his boots, but still. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted January 5, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2016 22 hours ago, Drew P Pissflaps said: You fucking amateur. Before posting shit like this you should read the site rules and ensure your posts are all inclusive and not persecute individuals because of their race, colour, gender or sexual preference. I for one know for a fact that bearded lesbians like this modern art shit too. The punters - insofar as I could see much of them through the red mist - were a pretty 'run-of-the-mill' bunch. I was expecting cravats, horn rimmed glasses and black roll neck sweaters a go-go but the attire betrayed no sign of the cuntishness of the attendees. Maybe they were all secretly as pissed off as I was, got outside and went 'what the fuck was that all about then?' and went home Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted January 5, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2016 8 hours ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Good nomination. Especially so against the dreary magnolia backdrop that is nearly all site content since after Boxing Day, which reads like the fucking Big Issue- scanning down the new nom list- some interesting ish newsy commentary but fuck all properly funny. ProfB shite, minorly annoying things cunts have noticed- fucking dishwater. Wherever is the boy-weasel Gurt? At least that cunt had spunk, albeit mostly running out his hoop, filling up his boots, but still. Thanks - do you think it might win me the Turner Prize? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted January 5, 2016 Report Share Posted January 5, 2016 5 hours ago, Jiggerycock said: Thanks - do you think it might win me the Turner Prize? That depends - are you a total total fuckin' cunt? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted January 5, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2016 8 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: That depends - are you a total total fuckin' cunt? Using a lightness of touch and a finely tempered modality, Jiggers answered with a 'Gestalt' which said not only 'I am' - but also 'I may be' Does that answer your question? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted January 5, 2016 Report Share Posted January 5, 2016 1 minute ago, Jiggerycock said: Using a lightness of touch and a finely tempered modality, Jiggers answered with a 'Gestalt' which said not only 'I am' - but also 'I may be' Does that answer your question? Much like any of the "descriptions" for the Tate shite, I have no fucking clue what you are on about, so, looks like you qualify. I'd say I look forward to your exhibit, were it not going to be a crushed tin of tennents, or a Barbie doll covered in spunk, or something like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted January 5, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2016 9 minutes ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: Much like any of the "descriptions" for the Tate shite, I have no fucking clue what you are on about, so, looks like you qualify. I'd say I look forward to your exhibit, were it not going to be a crushed tin of tennents, or a Barbie doll covered in spunk, or something like that. Your words wound! I am an artist - not a Brony wank fantasy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted January 5, 2016 Report Share Posted January 5, 2016 37 minutes ago, Jiggerycock said: Your words wound! I am an artist - not a Brony wank fantasy. You're a burlesque artiste, I'd wager. I meant to only post "yes" to that, but find it nearly impossible to keep short... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jiggerycock Posted January 5, 2016 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2016 2 hours ago, Quincy Cockfingers said: You're a burlesque artiste, I'd wager. I meant to only post "yes" to that, but find it nearly impossible to keep short... Close. Burly artist Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest deebom Posted January 5, 2016 Report Share Posted January 5, 2016 I'm an artist. Did I mention that? A real one with stuff in a gallery. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gurt Posted January 6, 2016 Report Share Posted January 6, 2016 On 4 January 2016 at 23:25:15, Quincy Cockfingers said:Good nomination. Especially so against the dreary magnolia backdrop that is nearly all site content since after Boxing Day, which reads like the fucking Big Issue- scanning down the new nom list- some interesting ish newsy commentary but fuck all properly funny. ProfB shite, minorly annoying things cunts have noticed- fucking dishwater. Wherever is the boy-weasel Gurt? At least that cunt had spunk, albeit mostly running out his hoop, filling up his boots, but still. Quincy you big, blood belching vagina! God how I've missed you and the meandering, nonsensical Arse gravy that seems to gurgle, frothing from your twisted, grotesque, Down syndrome face.... You cunts all seem to be philistines when it comes to real art! so I've been working on a couple of bits and bobs soon to be released-: A new installation for the Turner Prize which is a live piece of Modern, interpretive dance featuring me shitting into Punkapes All Bran whilst a chorus line of knickerbocker wearing ladies can-can back and forth kicking shim in the face. are you available to help me do the 'Damian Hurst' formaldehyde thing with his still breathing body? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Gurt Posted January 6, 2016 Report Share Posted January 6, 2016 11 hours ago, deebom said: I'm an artist. Did I mention that? A real one with stuff in a gallery. Is your stuff in Tony Harts gallery? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted January 6, 2016 Report Share Posted January 6, 2016 11 hours ago, deebom said: I'm an artist. Did I mention that? A real one with stuff in a gallery. You mentioned some Star Wars related installation, and admittedly it didn't sound like as outright a lie as most shite around here. Is this the case? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers Posted January 6, 2016 Report Share Posted January 6, 2016 7 hours ago, Gurt said: Quincy you big, blood belching vagina! God how I've missed you and the meandering, nonsensical Arse gravy that seems to gurgle, frothing from your twisted, grotesque, Down syndrome face.... You cunts all seem to be philistines when it comes to real art! so I've been working on a couple of bits and bobs soon to be released-: A new installation for the Turner Prize which is a live piece of Modern, interpretive dance featuring me shitting into Punkapes All Bran whilst a chorus line of knickerbocker wearing ladies can-can back and forth kicking shim in the face. are you available to help me do the 'Damian Hurst' formaldehyde thing with his still breathing body? Gurt, thank God, what a relief, although a relief like taking a horrible black Guinness shite, or finally giving birth - to a drooling retard, but a relief nonetheless. These cunts are philistines, and it's heartening to hear you've been in the workshop, my hilarious "Yacht" nom was met with scalding jealousy-fuelled disapproval, for instance- yet clock the other shite recently. Shop bought versus home made horseradish indeed. Im happy to assist in your Spunkape installation , though I'd lean towards sawing the cunt in half first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Manky Posted January 6, 2016 Report Share Posted January 6, 2016 Banksy does a little scribble on a wall and the critics go into overdrive with all the usual bullshit. I do a calligraphic masterpiece in black spray paint saying "Allegedly, Wayne Rooney has a thing for older women" on the local Arndale centre wall and all of a sudden, I am the biggest cunt that ever lived. Where is the justice? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DingTheRioja Posted January 6, 2016 Report Share Posted January 6, 2016 16 hours ago, deebom said: I'm an artist. Did I mention that? A real one with stuff in a gallery. I've got a few things up for sale here and there... nothing flash... just some graphic art stuff..... makes a couple of quid now and then, but I can't be arsed to do it properly.. if I get in the mood and do a couple of decent piccies I'll upload them to sell, but it's only every couple of months... And no... I'm not going to fucknig tell you cunts what & where.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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