Flakes on a train

[Cap'n Cunt]

I see some poor bastard was subjected to a 'prolonged' sexual assault by a bummer on the Tube. Is no-one capable of fighting these days? If somebody started fingering my arse on a train, I think I might get a bit punchy (unless it was Carol Vorderman). Police are apparently looking for a gay man in a Barbour carrying a set of golf clubs and a lobster pick.

[Guest Alfie Noakes]

If it was punkape he would have been a pushover in a fight. Jerking uncoordinated limbs, nearly blind, drooling incomprehensible squeaks and grunts and an absolute physically wasted and diseased body barely able to stand. 

[Stubby Pecker]

9 hours ago, Cap'n Cunt said:

I see some poor bastard was subjected to a 'prolonged' sexual assault by a bummer on the Tube. Is no-one capable of fighting these days? If somebody started fingering my arse on a train, I think I might get a bit punchy (unless it was Carol Vorderman). Police are apparently looking for a gay man in a Barbour carrying a set of golf clubs and a lobster pick.

Out of likes

[Guest Lady Penelope]

9 hours ago, Cap'n Cunt said:

I see some poor bastard was subjected to a 'prolonged' sexual assault by a bummer on the Tube. Is no-one capable of fighting these days? If somebody started fingering my arse on a train, I think I might get a bit punchy (unless it was Carol Vorderman). Police are apparently looking for a gay man in a Barbour carrying a set of golf clubs and a lobster pick.

You failed to mention the fold-up cardboard cut-out Range Rover.

[Guest Gong Farmer]

I hope Punkers washed his hands after the event.

[Stubby Pecker]

50 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Out of likes

 

10 hours ago, Cap'n Cunt said:

I see some poor bastard was subjected to a 'prolonged' sexual assault by a bummer on the Tube. Is no-one capable of fighting these days? If somebody started fingering my arse on a train, I think I might get a bit punchy (unless it was Carol Vorderman). Police are apparently looking for a gay man in a Barbour carrying a set of golf clubs and a lobster pick.

I think you'll find it was punkers who was on the receiving end of said bumming. At least that was what to told the police so as not to expose his clients and pimp and avoid yet another savage beating at the hands of his thuggish Nigerian overlord.

[Guest DingTheRioja]

15 hours ago, Alfie Noakes said:

If it was punkape he would have been a pushover in a fight. Jerking uncoordinated limbs, nearly blind, drooling incomprehensible squeaks and grunts and an absolute physically wasted and diseased body barely able to stand. 

Frank?

11 hours ago, Gong Farmer said:

I hope Punkers washed his hands after the event.

I hope he washed them before the event.

[Guest Gong Farmer]

11 hours ago, DingTheRioja said:

Frank?

I hope he washed them before the event.

More importantly after as he was spotted going into KFC for a 'finger licking good' three piece meal with corn on the cob on the side.

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

On 3/28/2017 at 7:41 PM, Cap'n Cunt said:

I see some poor bastard was subjected to a 'prolonged' sexual assault by a bummer on the Tube. Is no-one capable of fighting these days? If somebody started fingering my arse on a train, I think I might get a bit punchy (unless it was Carol Vorderman). Police are apparently looking for a gay man in a Barbour carrying a set of golf clubs and a lobster pick.

Out of likes, Cap'n!