KingRollo

5 minutes ago, Roadkill said:

 

The little cunt made sure to get right in the centre of the track and strike a pose for the cameras at the start of the race today. This has nothing to do about racism and everything to do with Hamilton's own ego.

Taking the knee in the middle of a racing track with no one in the stands and six cunts refusing to play along (who consist of Raikkonen, a 40 year old Finn who never gave a shit about anything and has already made his millions, LeClerc, the new number 1 at Ferrari with his entire career ahead of him, Carlos Sainz, who'll be joining LeClerc at Ferrari next year, Antonio Giovinazzi, a cunt with strong ties and the potential to get a Ferrari seat in the future and Danil Kvyat, a Ruskie who probably finds the entire thing fucking hilarious).

Basically all the chancers who need to make a good impression just to keep their seats, the newbies who don't know any better and a Canadian racing out of Daddy's wallet took a knee. Impactful.

When I was a Prince, taking the knee meant something entirely different.  I used to dread it. Tip-toeing past Wizard's rune room, always caught out by that squeaky floor board, "Rollo!" the voice would boom out, "in here now.  Time for the knee".  Clearly, being a bit of an imp in my younger days, he'd be wanting to teach me a lesson or two about whatever mischief I'd concocted that day, but being bent over his skinny lap, and belted on the posterior with his Wizard's staff, left one quite bruised.  Sitting down afterwards was almost out of the question. And the thrones are so hard...

59 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

The reality is that every justifiable criticism of him for being a twat and criticism of any other ethnic twat is turned by him into an an attack on people of colour and howls of racist.

No one would propose him for any of my golf clubs because he’s an odious penis.Wheras Rishi Sunak or Tom Cleverley would be welcomed without the faintest bat of an eyelid.

He’s a self absorbed arrogant turd.At Wimbledon one year he was given prime tickets for the centre court Royal box for which men are required to wear suits, shirt and tieThese requirements are well known and sent in writing to all those fortunate to be invited.Hamilton turned up in jeans, jacket and a tee shirt and was refused admission....excellent.The wanker then had a meltdown and stormed off no doubt wailing about racism and other imaginary slights.

Utter tosser.

I can't disagree with the notion that Hamilton is not, perhaps, the world's best example of victims of prejudice.  However, your implicit assumption that - somehow - not being allowed to join your so-called club would have him crying in his cornflakes is hilarious! Or that Sunak / Cleverley would be even slightly interested. Thanks for the laugh!

5 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Have you noticed that @KingRollo has made it onto the leaderboard? What an eclectic mix. 2 kings, 1 emperor and a frog.

Hadn't clocked it young Eric! Have a like!

6 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I thought it was 'The Fallen Madonna with the large boobies' by Van Klopp! 

That's the one! - I stand corrected

6 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I think so. Some large German salami with dynamite hidden in the middle. 

Just a thought - do you think 'Allo 'Allo is where Withers learned French?

5 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

My preference was always Helga, even in the face of extreme temptation provided by Yvette (Vicki Michelle). That blonde midget with the bug-eyes and curly hair wasn't appealing though. 

Punky liked Gruber.

Wasn't there some story line about explosives being hidden in a sausage?  That sounds like Punky's cup of cocoa...

4 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said:

Buy one of his DVDs (get one free!) 

Hmmm, not sure Queen Gwen and I are ready for "Emanuelle meets Priscilla, Queen of the Desert"...

7 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said:

He seems upset. It's probably because his bootleg dvds/cds aren't selling.

Rollo, can you cheer him up? 

How? Help him sign on with his benefits? Take him to the nearest Seaman's Mission?

5 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

You fucking rotter. You just made me think of Helga. Gestapo uniform concealing stockings and suspenders. 

'tler.

I always preferred Michelle in her trenchcoat - reminded me of the flasher that used to hang out near school...

47 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Good evening Your Majesty. What a pleasure it is to have a fellow ‘blue blood’ to show some concern  for Her Maj and myself whilst we’re in the midst of this awful  predicament. The worst part of the fiasco is I have a BOGOF voucher which expires tonight. As you rightly say i need to grasp the corgi by the horns. I’ve ordered a few executions but the obvious question, as we speak, and still unanswered is “Why did nearly all of the gravy have to be thrown out?” Something stinks in my royal opinion.

Many thanks. 

Your regal superior.  KB

Your Majesty, Queen Gwen and I will send you a gift token for Toby's, with our complements,  as recompense for your missed BOGOF opportunity - please don't be tempted to risk the gravy this evening, the lumps may not be congealed Bisto.

Your humble servant,

KR

6 minutes ago, Earl of Punkape said:

You fucking spastic.

You ok there, Punky?

13 minutes ago, King Billy said:

I live in London Wolfman and I have to say I’d probably feel safer if Inspector Clouseau or Herr Flick was the Met Commissioner rather than Cressida ‘bell end’ Dickface.

Herr Flick would be an awesome commissioner.  All you'd need to bribe him with would be a stolen picture of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies!

44 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Withers, leaving aside for a moment the indisputable fact that you’re a worthless faux Gallic cunt, I’d appreciate you’re advice concerning a dilemma I find myself in today. I assume you are aware that our glorious leader Bojo has unselfishly granted his unworthy subjects (us) the freedom to visit pubs and restaurants from today. As you will no doubt be aware, we have the finest cuisine and eating establishments in the world bar none. On hearing the glad tidings I immediately booked a table at the local jewel in the crown, the Toby Carvery for Her Majesty and myself tonight. However I’ve just received a text message from the establishment informing me that they had a break in last night and the burglars shit in the gravy urn, leaving them no option apparently, other than to throw most of it away. This has put me in two minds wether to go or wait till they make a new batch next week.What would you do?

Merci beacoup.

Hello Your Majesty, two observations if you will permit.  It's no secret what Scrotie would do - exactly what he has been doing all throughout the lockdown (i.e. something heinous and goose-related).  I doubt he would go near a British Carvery given his penchant for all things francais, though it must be cringe-worthy to hear him shouting at the poor garcon in slow, loud English, insisting on a menu with pictures.  Even when he makes some sort of effort, the attempts at the lingo must raise everyone else's blood pressure - 'Je voooodray les pom freets'. Not so much as a 'si vous plait'!

However, and more importantly, surely as monarch you have the resources at your disposal to make these people up their game? I mean, it's not as though they are using goose-sweat or monkey juice.  I'd kindly suggest you give them a flea in their ear and directions to the nearest supermarket, on pain of death.

33 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

How's your pursuit of the Corner's most repetitive & boring cunt accolade going, GG? It appears only @Frank & @ChildeHarold stand in your way.

28 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said:

Still dry humping my leg for attention eh Wolfie? You're a good lad, run along and play. 

I think you are being a bit unfair Wolfie.  Pen easily wins that accolade hands down. But I don't recommend dry humping her leg... it would probably fall off... or she'd break a hip.

5 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said:

What is her secret? 

Home made yeast

15 hours ago, Dawn Chorus said:

Who is that smug looking television doctor who is also a mincing puff?

Cook made some mincing puffs last Christmas ... sort of a cross between mince pies and turnovers.  They were delicious - I'd highly recommend them!

7 minutes ago, Dawn Chorus said:

Fuck off you creepy cunt.

S'matter Pen?

21 minutes ago, Cunty BigBollox said:

Roops?

Fenella / Roops / Pen ... take your pick

13 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Always listen to the voices in your head. They might make a film about you one day.

'Summer Of Pen'

I think I can say, with absolute certainty, that nobody is going to make a film about any of us (except, perhaps, yours truly) and most definitely not a film about Pen ...

12 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Sorry. I forgot you were an extra from 'Chorlton And The Wheelies'.

Ah Chorlton.  I've often tried to persuade him to move to the Kingdom - after all, who wouldn't want to count a 'happiness dragon' among their number.  Unfortunately, he has unfinished business with a certain Welsh witch. A shame.

53 minutes ago, Major Cunt said:

Not even cognac or wine Withers, what sort of a Frenchman are you? I bet you ply the geese something a little potent though. I'd imagine trying to mount a lucid goose could be quite dangerous in the bollocks department!

An English one.

2 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

A lot of young women cant even cook an omelette. 

Theres a great line from Mr Vernon in The Breakfast Club " When I get old these kids will be running the country. Now this is the thought that wakes me up in the middle of the night.". 

Cook couldn't produce a decent omelette to save her life.  And she's not young ...   Always turns them out so rubbery!  She blames it on the goose eggs, says they've been fertilised (and not with the freshest of seed) but frankly, I think she's simply become sub-par.

5 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I believe the frenchy obtained the cheese when he surreptitiously accessed the gardens of a Mr Pepys, armed with a spade and larcenous intention. 

400 year old cheese is surely too mature even for his acquired tastes? The filthy old sod...

8 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

How kind! Your magnanimity is complemented pleasingly by your grace and nobility, your majesty. 

Why thank you young Eric.  I have been following the splendid example of @King Billy, a most generous monarch.  He's also agreed not to snitch on me over the matter of the gamey geese I purloined off a certain faux-french fowl-botherer, so I'd definitely say I owe him one.

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I'd kick a ball around and play Connect-4 with those creepy ginger kids if the alternative was shagging the bird in the bathtub.

Nonsense! You'll always have the warmest of invitations for a spot of croquet on the lawn here, no need to waste your time with tedious board games and disturbing youth!