KingRollo

Also, this guy.

I note Eric's general aversion to rap but this "musician" is in a special category of shite, all on his own. @Eric Cuntman, I would say to make a bee-line for this idiot when you take my...er King Frank's souped up chariot to do the you-know-what to the you-know-who ... but I'm afraid he died to get out of facing grand larcenry charges in 2013. Some people!

I believe @Gronda Gronda's a fan.

Anything by Arnold Schoenberg. How the hell ANYONE can call his stuff music is a mystery to me.

1 hour ago, Weary&Disgusted said:

I may be exposing myself as an ignorant philistine here, but I've always found orchestra conductors really irritating. They act like they are superstars, but do the rest of the musicians really need some sort of miming wierdo telling them how to play their instruments, or could they manage perfectly well without ?  

99% of the work of a conductor takes place long before you get to hear the performance and the sound of an unrehearsed orchestra ain't pretty.  Without a conductor, particularly for new pieces of music, the orchestra simply would sound like a lot of individuals doing their best to fit in together, muscially speaking. Things like dynamics, tempo, pauses, etc. would be all over the place.  Starting and finishing would be a real mess too.  Having said that, conductors who conduct like they're having a fit are deserving of your comment. Some of the best I have perfomed with have been incredibly good at getting a great performance out of the musicians in a calm, reserved manner. rather than trying to "be" the perfomance. Also, conductors who think they are Gordon Ramsay can stick their batons up their arses. Good question.

10 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

 Nouveau riche and all the crass vulgarity that goes with it I'm afraid. The type of cunt who broadcasts the cost of his shoes.

I shouldn't believe all he says about the shoes, Eric.  I mean, consider Punkape and his golf. We know the truth.  

14 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Not to worry my liege. The gypsy is referring to the varlet, Frank Kleftiko.

Thank you kindly young Eric for clarifying the point.  I will call off the assault at King Frank's castle.  What's the problem with this Kleftiko character?  He seems rather strange to me...

3 hours ago, Wolfie said:

I like natural curves, and I'm not in the least put off by a humungous pair of southbound bangers that swing like pendulums gone AWOL when allowed to roam free.

I think I should introduce you to Cook, Wolfie.  She would certainly tick all of your boxes, and serve you a good square meal to boot!

5 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

He does, Rollo. He fucking does. 

Blimey Gypps, has Frank got on the wrong side of you? Pray tell what happened... I will NOT stand for him affronting the ladies of the corner and whatever he has done, I hope the House of Rollo can make it up to you. I am steeling myself for the inevitable shame...

24 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Punkape has an eight track player in his golf cart and a selection of Liberace and early Elton tapes. Rumour has it that he keeps a photo of Quentin Crisp in his wallet.

He also knows all the moves to "Rock DJ".

8 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Paul Rutherford out of Frankie Goes To Hollywood.

Or perhaps THIS Hollywood:

7 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said:

Oh, and when you do plough into the BLM protesters with your bladed chariot, don't forget to play your Best Of Johnny Rebel CD (the one you bought from Punkape's stall) at maximum volume. 

Unfortunately, the CD doesn't work. Punkape's goods are not to be trusted.  There is a reason he sells everything at such bargain prices and the goods are definitely shoddy.

4 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said:

They'll already be at King Frank's gates. 

Poor Frank. He doesn't deserve this.

4 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Edward VIII was very fond of Mr Hitler.

True. However, he also lost his crown (or gave it up, if we're being generous). There lies the warning young Eric. Beware!  Being knighted and being beheaded are just a flick of the wrist apart.

On a related matter, being ChildeHarold and being a sticky mess on the sheets are also just a flick of the wrist apart.  I feel that fate has played us a cruel joke...

5 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said:

So you see KR, Eric has crossed all the t's and dotted the lower case j's, ChildeHarold is still a potato, Punkers is still a nine bob note, and Wizard has cooked another batch of your special crystals. 

It's all going to work out. 

Good because when the mob comes baying for blood, I'm going to give them your address GG. You started this!

19 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

That's why I've changed the livery and royal standard to make it look like king Frank's chariot. I'm not stupid.

I appreciate you ingenuity, I really do.  However, Royals today have a long tradition on being neutral in all matters racial.  Except Prince Philip.  And Prince Harry...

52 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

An excellent idea. I shall have the engineers suspend activities on building the new trebuchet and attach some blades to your chariot hubs.

No, damnit Cuntman, you missed my point entirely! You have to behave yourself as a member of the knighted class (or at least, pretend to publicly)!

20 hours ago, Gronda Gronda said:

My advice to you would be to do your best Jeremy Clarkson impression and review chariots. 

Hah. As a monarch, it would be unseemly in the extreme to emulate the behaviour of Mr Clarkson.  His behaviour in Argentina was totally unacceptable and you suggest I follow suit? What would you have me do, GG? Plough my chariot a BLM protest with a politically incorrect registration plate?

5 minutes ago, Trucking Funt said:

Perhaps he might be more qualified as your court jester.

Conventionally, one has to be funny to occupy that role...

54 minutes ago, Trucking Funt said:

How chivalrous of you Cockles. Perhaps on your next visit to the fancy dress shop you can pretend to be a knight of the round table.

Plenty of room for such japes on the Corner!

4 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said:

Aah, KR? Did you put one too many of Wizard's dancing crystals in your glass pipe? You seem unusually aggressive today. 

I am just worried GG. The Kingdom's going to shit, we're about to become a narcostate in league with the Major, I am up to my balls in debt with @King Billy although he's been generous enough to call it a gift, Mehmet the fucking Turk is doing the rounds again, Sir Eric's up to no good with Queen Gwen and to top it all, the village idiot's just died of Covid.  I need to recruit another.

Any suggestions for any of the above?

5 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said:

I most sincerely apologise your majesty.  I was told that it was so by King Frank.  I told him that I very much doubted it and he said to ask you.  He went so far as to say it's something you brag about. 

Ok GG, no problem. Have some Baby Bio.  As for King Frank, he needs a kick up his fockan arse, the lousy fockan bastard.

2 hours ago, Gronda Gronda said:

Do you remember those noises that he would make whilst drawing a cartoon character?  Do either yourself or your queen make such sounds? 

No, godamnit, we do not. Have some respect or I'll have you locked up in the tower.

5 minutes ago, Gronda Gronda said:

if Scrotie, Punkers and ChildeHarold offered you a Terry's All Gold, a Frankenstein mask and a bottle of Grrr aftershave, how would you react? 

Like this:

10 minutes ago, King Billy said:

The less said the better KR. I had to dispose of that beautiful watercolour of Andrew and Big Ted with the bunch of grapes on the Louis X1V chaise longue, in hasty fashion. I had a couple of the Royal Protection chaps drop it off at the corgi protection league charity shop last week. 

That beautiful work of art? Such a shame although I think, given the artist, it might have been wise to remove it some time ago.  I understand that the "Rolferoo signature" has fallen seriously out of favour...

5 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Not so fast!

It's ok, Cook says she's up for a tumble.

8 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Your Majesty. If I might offer a word of caution. Last week as I was bestowing young Captain Tom with his well deserved Knighthood I have to confess I was almost overcome with an uncontrollable urge to lop his head off and publicly swear allegiance to ISIS. Fortunately the urge was fleeting and by the time I came to my senses the old git was shuffling off with his Zimmer and was well out of reach as I had only the sawn off, snub nose, child friendly sword in my hand. The point being that at our grand old age it’s best to steer clear of sharp implements. Perhaps a nice bunch of daffodils or a box of Maltesers would be more appropriate. I’m sure young Eric will understand.

 

My Liege, thank you. I am deeply moved by your obvious concern and yours is indeed a cautionary tale.  I will dub Eric with Wizard's staff. The wood has softened greatly over the years and it yields only a fraction of the power of old.  It will need a good polish beforehand to ensure it is up to the job.

I am, I must confess, alarmed to learn that your confused state defaulted to jihadi. Usually, when I have a spell of "confusion", I adopt the persona of a children's cartoon character - some might call it whimsical and frivolous but, essentially, harmless.  Has Mehmet been supplying you? I fear he may have cut your powder with something sinister.

Be careful, we all rely on you.

Humble regards,

KR