Goober

4 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I'm waiting for them to start standing with hands on hips and gobbing on the floor, like Tony Adams used to. 

Equality seems to have been reinterpreted as mimicry. 20 years ago, WPCs were simply that, women police officers, they were still feminine, and behaved and dressed like women. Now, they all have short hair and walk around in combats with their sleeves rolled up calling everybody 'mate' in a slightly deeper voice than seems natural. 

Stupid fucking cunts. Jealous because they're weaker, slower, shit at fighting, can't throw or catch properly, and can't piss standing up without flooding the military grade boots that are too heavy for them to actually run in.

Equality is an illusion, Eric. Personally, I'd welcome it wholeheartedly, but the reality is that equality has now been corrupted to mean that any individual that might have been downtrodden in the past must be given a leg up, or priority, to make up for the sins of our ancestors. That's fundamentally wrong. You and I are now the downtrodden, but it's not because of anything I've done.

I've repressed no one, so I see no reason why I should be forced to suffer for the behaviour of my forebears. Tarquin and Millie Tant see things differently, but are only able to do so because their parents left them £2M+ semi-detached properties in the London suburbs. If they gave away their wealth, earned on the back of the inequality they protest, perhaps they'd gain a more realistic interpretation of equality based on having to compete to eat. 

I much prefer a Darwinian model, where worth is earned purely on the basis of merit, equal competition and value. 

I'm never going to watch men's synchronised swimming, but women's synchronised swimming has a certain value, and it's not because they can hold their breath longer. Not entirely dissimilarly women's football also has some value. 

Men's football is and always will be the elite. Women's football is currently a side note that the BBC would do well not to over promote or it will soon be added to a very long list of sports they can't afford to cover. 

I'm not going to dis the women's Euros as irrelevant. Women's football has a limited talent pool, for now, but England still did well to win. That said, the BBC punditry was vomit inducing, the officiating was beyond awful and the depth of talent and skill on display didn't merit the level of attention. 

The problem is not now, it's in the near future. In a few weeks or months we'll see demands for equal pay for female footballers. I hope the cunts in charge of football here don't cave in to that bollocks. The average attendance at this women's euros, a supposedly 'major' international tournament, despite ridiculously low ticket prices and an audience dominated by children, was about 18,000, which is akin to a mid-table league 1 match. 

It's a good win, but let's not get carried away because a squad consisting of 3 lightly tanned people, 9 lesbians, 6 slightly chubby birds and 5 straight white women won a contest that maybe only a few teams stood a chance of winning in the first place. 

I can't agree with @Neil entirely, but the attention this tournament got was not earned on merit, and that does make it a bucket of cunts. 

I fear we may be the victims of a media blackout on this subject, LCS, because I've not a fucking Scooby what you're banging on about. 

Post a link, ffs, you lazy cunt.

Wouldn't surprise me if waity Katie had had more cock than Punkape though. 

1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

'Chesting' used to be a method of stopping the ball. I gather Umbro etc' will be launching 'Tit-Pads' soon. A couple of cricket boxes lashed together would do.

For most of the women's England team, corn plasters would suffice. 

13 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Only someone who spends all day browsing in New Look or Miss Selfridge could definitively say such a thing. Correct?

A fine logical fallacy, Bilbo. I expect no less from an idiot. 

1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

At least you're not a Skechers wanker.

Scarpa walking boots are more the norm these days. I live in a fucking swamp with a pet donkey after all. 

(The swamp is as dry as nun's fanny at the moment, tbh.)

1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I only wear 501s. But with a pair of adidas gazelle in blue suede, they look the bollocks. I don't wear track suits. And if you're telling me that you don't own a pair of trainers, you're a fucking liar or a flid that only wears orthopaedic Frankenstein boots.

Yes, of course I do.

I'm still working my way through a half dozen pairs of identical black Etnies purchased many years ago. 

Fuck shopping. It's for poofs and girls. 

7 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Tweed sports jacket with elbow patches?

Scruffy Levi 501s, mostly, but I'd rather go with shit brown corduroys coupled with white socks than the Ali G look, tbh. 

Have you seen this https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-62269510@Eric Cuntman? 

STIs are racist. If not, those of darker hues are filthy disease spreaders. 

20 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

That cunt needs to fuck off with the adidas, I wear adidas, it's for white people, like Puma. Darkies should wear Nike. 

Ffs, Eric. I reckon there's less than a year between our ages. I wouldn't be seen dead in any of that shite. 

1 hour ago, Witheredscrote said:

Forget this shit KB. Have you seen the French team? 5 BLACKS, and I must admit I could tackle a couple of them. It would make a change from goose.

 

 

Renard by any chance? 

A misnomer if ever there was. 

Stick with the geese. 

18 hours ago, Witheredscrote said:

EDF, the main business funding the project, says the new plant will create thousands of construction and technical jobs during the building phase, which is expected to take between nine to 12 years.

As EDF is now to be 100% State owned, I suppose I will be paying more taxes. If you beer swilling cunts paid more taxes, you could finance it yourselves. Lots of British jobs will be created! That sits well this side of the Channel I can tell you.

Stick your stinking fish & chips up your collective arses.

Seriously? 

Whilst I can reluctantly concede that British street food is not universally renowned, I defy anyone to walk past a half decent chippy whilst peckish and, upon inhaling the delicious greasey fragrance, not think fuck me, I'd rather nosh down on that than Linda Evangelista's fanny right now. 

I doubt the same could be said for amphibians or gastropods, irrespective of whether they are pimped in beer batter or served with delicious heart attack inducing chips. 

Shove your baguette up your arse. 

On 22/07/2022 at 22:30, Witheredscrote said:

How's the new Dutch wife Frank. Have you trained her to push Mini Babybels up your arse yet?

Mini fucking Babybels? Project Edam was complete after just 6 days. 

Frank's arsehole now resembles the entrance to a badger's sett decorated with shit and the contents of a butcher's bin. 

11 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

The years pass, but the BBC continues to piss away licence payers' money on fucking shitey non-stories like this one, from fucking Canada of all fucking places:

The day I told my boyfriend I was non-binary

For the avoidance of doubt, it's the BBC I'm having a go at here, not non-binary people, fat cunts, or cosplayers - but do feel free to pile in on those topics too.

I'm not wasting 2 minutes of my life reading that shite. Therefore, going by the picture alone, I wonder if Miss Piggy has revealed to her boyfriend that she's non-human yet?

2 hours ago, Roadkill said:

5'5. I've never seen him standing next to anyone - its fucking hilarious. Thank you.

He looks like the brown version of Number 5 from Umbrella Academy.

If he's not the next PM, which I fear he will be, it would be fitting if he took the lead role in the next installment of The Borrowers. 

1 hour ago, King Billy said:

Not meaning to be rude Ape but have you seen the fucking state of your bonce in your avatar? I’m not an expert but it looks like an adverse Covid vaccine reaction to me. How many boosters have you had this week?

Eranu, Uvavu, Raducanu. 

On 03/07/2022 at 21:57, Jake The Muss said:

Some believe this is being used to contact demons from another dimension or even Lucifer himself, personally i believe Lucifer is already here, he manifests in stupid people.

There's so much evidence for that, just a walk down any street and you can very quickly count how many thicko's walking by on both hands with in minutes.

It's quite easy to spot a thick spaz when they're walking on both hands. 

Thalidomide is a cunt. 

27 minutes ago, judgetwi said:

Another fucking victim. Everybody wants to be a victim these days, have you noticed that? Oh please help me I’m so oppressed…..I’m going through IVF treatment so I need to stay at home watching fucking Netflix. You just don’t understand my problems you fascists!

And then we wonder why hundreds of lowlife fucking cunts turn up on the Kent coast every day. They can see what we have become even if we are too fucking thick to see it ourselves.

Funnily enough, I have. Only because I have to listen you pissing your fucking pants on a regular basis though. 

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I've really tried with you... 

now go spy on a paddling pool you sinister little fucking crybaby cunt.

Holding up a heavy pair of binoculars with one hand is going to give him arthritis one day. 

It's really quite tragic to see what he's become. 

11 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Romulus and Remus wouldn't be seen d...

ead in a shithole like Liverpool. 

Top blokes.

Just now, King Billy said:

I’m still here for you. Always.

That's kind of you, William.

Please hold your breath until I reach out to you in my moment of extreme need. 

Tit. 

9 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

I’ve done my best for you here, Doc. I’ve nothing more to give.

Quelle surprise. 

That is tacit acknowledgement that it's time for you to crawl back under the skirting board. 

What a creepy, pathetic, little arse licking gimp you are. 

1 minute ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

So…@ChildeHarold is back.

Yes, and the dirty, scumbag, benefit scrounging, Scouse idiot is back too. 

What's your point here? I wish you'd get to it because your aim is not very good. 

3 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Bed…now! You know what happened last time.

If you and Bill rattle together you might create a catchy tune. 

Suck my dick, you creepy, insignificant, dickhead. 

2 minutes ago, King Billy said:

I feel your pain. Just know that I’m here for you always.

When one response is not enough. 

Rattled. 

3 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

A straight ‘yes’ would’ve sufficed.

You are not, and never will be, part of the furniture here. You're just a running joke that punters either pity or farm for likes. What a lamentable existence. 

Fuck off.