Goober

1 minute ago, Frank said:

Thought not. 

Yeah, it's been a while since you've had a thought, original or otherwise. Pillock.

8 minutes ago, Frank said:

Do you think you’ll be chancing your arm at a little humour under the Goober handle, doc? No one’s forgotten the hysterical episode when I questioned your confidence and timing shortly before you were banned. A flounce to behold! It can’t be easy having to reinvent oneself. 

Strange, but as I recall, I've never been banned. I did have 1 week in the cooler once. You on the other hand...

For flounce, perhaps read self-diagnosed despair with the site's ongoing tolerance of fucking spastics. You know who I'm referring to, don't you, Francis.

I can live within the rules whilst continuing to call out third rate dimwits such as you.

Get your facts straight, Greek goat fucker.

1 minute ago, Earl of Punkape said:

Off topic.

Reported.

By conservative estimates (small c) you've reported 23,684 posts to date and not one has resulted in any action.

Overly sensitive bender.

2 minutes ago, Frank said:

You’re on here talking bollocks throughout the day.. usually until three or four the following morning. Let’s assume you’re an old-timer and need at least eight and a half hours sleep, that leaves you with a little under two hours to cover your day job. Me thinks JSP recognises a fucking loozer when he sees one. 

Whereas everyone recognises a has-been shit stirring troll when they see one, Francis. Your substandard shit only works with newbies, so why do you bother?

21 hours ago, Rev said:

I can reliably inform you that Lady P's chest is swellingly impressive, while @Mrs Roopswas of a more athletic physique and always had the effortless ability to make this Alpha hombré drip quite fucking uncontrollably. 

Any bloke on here who disagrees is of course, an unashamedly rampant homosexual.

Or you're the rampant (albeit misinformed and in denial), loquacious left footer and we're all well adjusted? Only 2 of 10 cats prefer rotten Welsh tuna.

Just a thought.

10 minutes ago, Dawn Chorus said:

There was a lynx I think that escaped from Dartmoor Zoo and was on the loose for a few days last year.

Africa or Ice Chill? I've no doubt it would cause panic amongst the stinking hippies of the South West.

22 hours ago, JohnnySaucePants said:

We dont have Dollarstore where i reside. Dollarstore as i understand it is for bottom feeding cunts and plebs like Ape and Eric the " I need to be top of the leader board" wannabe. I refuse to be associated with the low life unwashed lice infested scum.  

 

 

 

I think you're not trying hard enough. Anyone can make bullshit up to try and score a point, but it doesn't wash here, except with the troll squad. Sticking the boot into soft spots unwittingly revealed by the posters themselves, is harder, but yields far greater returns. It takes patience and practice.

Frankly, I'm amazed you've garnered 68 likes already, but Pen isn't known to be discerning when it comes to awarding likes. Are you sure you're not a Harold sock puppet?

49 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Fuck me, looks who’s swallowed the Big Book of Modern Farming Practices...

Thats what they’ll do when the grass has died off- plough it in.

The cunt that owns it ploughed it up a few years ago the day before a new law on retaining permanent pasture came in. He’s inbred to fuck and a wanker to boot.

That said, if the government follows through on its sweeping reforms to agriculture and env subsidies, I remain cautiously hopeful 

I'll admit, I don't possess Punkape's BTEC in turnip horticulture from his outstanding agricultural college. Thank fuck.

2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Not since Saturday night.

You didn't mean to type 'Not' then did you.

Just now, Stubby Pecker said:

More like spray 28 tons of herbicide and insecticide on the land killing every living thing that dares to live there. 
The meadow near us which thronged with grasshoppers this summer has been sprayed off with glycophosphate to a yellow mass to create a “sterile seed bed”

That's not going to create a "sterile seed bed" so what's was the point of spraying it? Glyphosphate won't kill dormant seeds. If it's not wanted as a meadow, or more to the point, if the EU subsidies for fallow land or set aside have dried up, just plough it over. Why waste a few hundred litres of concentrated Roundup?

As for killing every living thing... Slight exaggeration. Not even super concentrated glyphosphate, nor nicotinoids, nor polonium or novichok could kill Frank. Regrettably.

7 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

He probably just knows some "Young Farmers". I'd cheerfully drown those cunts in a sack myself.

I mark you right on that. Most are not "farmers" though. They're mostly children of nouveau riche wankers recently moved to the countryside. Kill them all!

Just now, Eric Cuntman said:

No. i just don't like farmers. Most of them are perverts. 

I'll grant you that most are severely inbred and possessed of an innate longing for their sisters. They're also moaning cunts that are so hard done by that they can only afford a new Range Rover every other year these days. Aside from the highly dubious incest issue though, most being perverts is a tad harsh.

I love a good rare steak. Carry on farming.

Just now, Eric Cuntman said:

It would be poetic justice for a farmer to be ambushed by a fully grown leopard. Let's see you shove that one in a sack and drown it, you chromosonally over endowed Ted Moult type cunt.

Why?

Not sure farmers are that into drowning these days when they can just run things over in their tractors or liberally apply 28g of 6 shot at 1400 feet per second.

Are you a plastic shoe wearing, sweaty footed vegan to despise farmers so?

53 minutes ago, camberwell gypsy said:

Oh here we fucking go.

Regarding cleanliness, gypsies kept themselves a damn sight cleaner than most. They camped by rivers and they washed shirts and tops upstream from where they washed underwear. Added to this, they washed plates and food utensils up stream from where they bathed and washed clothing. Non gypsies i.e. grotty little cunts like you, were breeding like rabbits, sharing two rooms with another two families in a slum, watching their scrawny skeletal little kids suffering from cholera, rickets and fuck knows what else. But it wouldn't have worried your great great grandparents because they were getting totally fucked out of their heads on gut rot gin.  

I suggest you stop watching the the "Gypsy wedding" shite that Channel 4 spews out.  

I think the masses tend to confuse gypsies with the modern day menace somewhat politely known as "travellers". Not sure I've ever met any of the former, so I can't really have an opinion. The latter, who are largely Irish tax dodgers, are scum and need exterminating.

11 minutes ago, Stubby Pecker said:

You soppy cunt. The natives at least take them down the pub first before "love making" commences. Its never rape.

I'm definitely with you on this, SP. It's a load of shit. If even a few were out there a farmer or gamekeeper would have called a local hack for a photo op with a dead specimen long before now.

27 minutes ago, cuntspotter said:

Agreed... but very , very few carcasses are actually examined for this type of detail.

Nor are they examined for evidence of rape, which is fortunate for the locals.

2 minutes ago, Eddie said:

Any viewings today scum? 

Mtembe will be hungrily viewing his chocolate tea towel holder.

2 hours ago, Wolfie said:

It definitely goes some way to explaining his obsession with class – borne from an obvious inferiority complex. Most estate agents don't need qualifications of any particular note: a big mouth, an ubiquitous nature, and the ability to swindle pensioners from their life savings – all driven by an obsession with money – appear to be the prerequisite requirements.

Isn't that so @Earl of Punkape, you yellow tie-wearing, pink mini-driving faggot?

Honestly, I think the nearest Punkers has been to an estate agent, scum that they are, is when they're trying to evict the low life from a slum they're trying to sell.

3 hours ago, ChildeHarold said:

I suggest YOU jump down the drain then I can clean it out with sulphuric acid. 

Suggest whatever you like, I've no interest in the opinions of mentally retarded pissants such as you. I've chewed up and shat out far more talented and durable posters than you. 

4 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

Surely the good news is that it’s Frank and he’s got a month tops. If I get confirmation of franks death I’ll do you up the wrong un and suck off lady p 

You sick cunt. A celebration of gargantuan proportions would, of course, be in order, but that's just fucking sick.

9 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

That's oncologists for you. Scum of the earth. 

That would be the radiographer's fault, or perhaps onanist's, rather than oncologist's, or both, in this particular instance? Nurses and hospital technicians are dirty fuckers. They're a plague of STI typhoid Mary's.

On 25/02/2018 at 14:15, Last Cunt Standing said:

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2018/feb/25/bbcs-steph-mcgovern-says-she-would-earn-more-if-she-was-posher

So this fucking creature has decided, in the midst of #metoo and the ongoing carnival of perpetual feminist outrage, that now would be a good time to weigh in on the subject of class. Apparently the snivelling cunt thinks she’s been deprived bundles more cash because she hails from bread-and-dripping land somewhere north of Leicester Forest services. 

Might I suggest a few more reasons why you’ve “only just made it to six figures” for reading out corporate press releases on BBC Breakfast in what passes for business news? 

Firstly, you are ugly as fuck. This matters in a visual medium. Looking like a pre-op transsexual with a brain injury might pass for acceptable on Teeside, given all those chemicals in the water, but if you think your gurning square head is an asset to BBC News, you are deluded. Secondly, your mangled vowels and drawled consonants might have turned on whichever truck-driving lesbian in BBC Casting you auditioned for, but for most people it’s like listening to a fucking concrete mixer. Thirdly, you are by no means an expert in your field, and having heard you grunt through many broadcasts it seems to me you wouldn’t know an ETF from a CDS and think reading the financial page in the Daily Mirror makes you Warren Buffett. Lastly your presenting skills are distinctintly third division, easily replicated, and we both know it’s only some tick-box bollocks that means you aren’t doing the traffic report on Radio Cleveland.

You have the nerve to whine publicly that you are only paid four times the national average for reading aloud on the telly for an hour or two in the morning. You should be on your knees thanking whatever God you pray to that you have been so blessed, not wishing you were Fiona Bruce. Know your fucking place and keep your ugly Peter Beardsley lovechild head down you inarguable Cunt.

Fuck off. 

I suspect she has been to get where she has, there can be no other explanation.

11 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Pretending to be having difficulty breathing. He's as infected as Boris or wing nut Charlie was. Load of bollocks. 

'Hey guys! If it can happen to us, it can happen to you'.

C'mon Eric. We all get the utterly wank, opportunistic, overbearing population control implemented by this government in the name of this pandemic. It's an entirely predictable shit storm and a possibly well overdue thinning of an out of control population, but it's definitely not a hoax. Ultimately one's opinion of it is driven by how much one gives a fuck about old cunts. Since they soak up most of the taxes we pay I say let 'em die.

At least one person in the village of ~400 that I live in has died of this. The old twat,  without question, had been circling the drain for a while, but he'd have carried on draining the public purse for a good few years yet without this intervention.

Trump is as ill as fuck and was clearly in rather severe respiratory distress. It's going to take something more powerful than Stormy Daniels to suck this virus out of him.

I hope the bigoted, divisive, narcissistic orange wanker turns white followed by a post mortem yellow and then a shade of black he despised in life in a very, very painful manner quite soon.

27 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I imagine it's the 'bone spurs in his feet that cause him to move in a mysterious way.

It's that or the devastating arse pounding he's taken from Melania's strap on the night before.

The fact the even one American voted for this tango tinged fuckwit is a devastating indictment of American culture, let alone nearly 63 million. Having said that, it's unfathomable that out of a population of nearly 330 million the Democrats can't find at least one half decent candidate that would trounce this idiot.

2 hours ago, Stubby Pecker said:

I wish you were both close to death

 

Welcome back Dr Goober Cunt