ProfB

You are always picking on me, I passed 1st time. smallbollox

Who have they done?

ProfB sometimes needs to get somewhere in a hurry, soo I put my foot down & take advantage of the 10% +2 tolerance, what else is it there for? To be used when you are pushed for time. The times inconsiderate drivers fail to flash & let me know I might get done for speeding is shocking - too many selfish, me, me, me drivers on the road. I would say Volvo drivers are the worse, they never speed, they never get above 40 mph & most are half blind & don’t see the 🐽s in the first place. Dominic Cummings has said that he drove to Barnard Castle to test his eyesight before making the long drive home to London. I don’t think he’d flash & warn me the law was trying to get me done for speeding. 😤

Let Agros explain to BigBollox: Half a tree might sound a bit odd, but bear with us, there's a method in our madness. A huge hit last Christmas, this half tree is designed for smaller rooms. It sits flush against the wall, only taking up half the space (45cm front-to-back). And who looks at the back of their tree anyway? To save you hours of searching for (and untangling) last year's lights, the tree comes pre-lit! We've strung 120 bulbs of warm white light around the tree, so you won't have to. WHO LOOKS AT THE BACK OF THIER TREE? & 'so you don't have to' quote. I don't do bulbs, not with my balls. Went to Homebase, for a normal tree, my balls will glisten over the festive period.

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Toyah was the great voice behind a Teletubby - she has a special gift from above.

VAX has gone tit up already: Warning over Pfizer vaccine roll-out as two NHS staff suffer 'anaphylactic reaction': Regulators urge people with history of 'significant' allergies NOT to have injection - just 24 hours after Britain's mass inoculation kicked off. Read this on Daily Fail website when I was looking for an update on the Beckhams

Thanks for your responses.

Sorry I have posted recently, I've been looking out for a Christmas Tree 🌲 🎄

After the unfortunate Spanish 🐷s in blankets episode in M&S, comes disaster in Argos, they tried to sell me a 1/2 Christmas tree, apparently these are trendy? I wanted a full tree, what am I supposed to do - buy two halves, or three halves for an extra bushy tree. I’ve got a lot of balls to hang on it & a glamorous fairy. Only someone with half a brain wants half a tree - half a turkey please, & sprout halves.

I HATE 😡 eggs, it's so unfair.

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NO, it is still happening, I have been carded by a ginger to make matters worse. Long story short, I ended up causing a traffic jam & bringing the town to a standstill collecting my package, simply because a ginger postie didn't hide my eBay package behind my landfill, like any normal postman would. Hey that's me CockUp (in my prev corner incarnation), my name changed to CockUp when my membership expired. & Ohh the irony of Hokey Gingers, who I suspected for ages was Prince Harry, but now I know that's not true,

BOLLIX

Judging by your photo, someone has already collected your sausage - it's missing.

Yes. I now have the correct ones - they say 'delish' on the packet. If any corner member living locally wants the Spanish ones they are in my freezer. Please PM me for a collection time, then I'll leave them out at the bottom of my drive under a bush at a time convenient to you. Thanks, ProfB

Yes they have both, but a furloughed HMRC employee & others made me grab the wrong packet - they were all together - I say the Brits & Spans are a different kettle of fish? The last thing I want Christmas day is a spicy sausage.

Ocado may well deliver the contents of the sanitary bin in their ladies toilets next. I predict this little lot of treats, will turn up with a gent's order of vintage wines from M&S & maybe some of those 🐽 in blankets I bought in error when a furloughed HRMC worker rammed their trolley up my arse.

8 inch what? Carrot?

& speed camera that are cuntbreeds.

But after she picked it up she noticed the smell and was sickened to realise the bag was full of bags of urine and also contained faeces. So urine again too. A bucket would be better than bags?

IT GOT WORSE:🤯 Ocado left a bag of shit this time. Google it, ProfB does not tell porkie pies. Sarah Wilkin 55, was left horrified after an Ocado delivery driver dropped off a bag of SHIT with her food shopping. Ocado collected the bag and have launched an investigation. Who dung it? £25 compo. What next, what party trick does Ocado have up its sleeve?

Are they in the shops yet? Going through my Quaker Oats phase - just come out of weetabix one, after a brief flirtation with spoon sized shreddies.

Why is Harvey a potential corner topic - he has health problems. Katie Price is a corner topic, but they’d be room for nowt else.

In M&S the furloughed pushed & shoved me as I reached out for a packet that said Pigs in Blankets on it, got home & saw the bastard things are Spanish style chorizos & pancetta - skin from Spanish pigs bollox. Pigs in Blankets are a Great British invention - never did I expect M&S to trick me in such a downright wicked manner. I hope my spouts are grown in Norfolk - the sea air wafting over them… mmmh and planted using lunar gardening guarantees award winning bulbous sprouts. Merry Christmas 🎄 everyone