scotty

"I'm feeling really horny," said my wife as she sat down next to me on the sofa. "I'm wet, and I want you inside me. Then I want you to slip it into my tight little arsehole while I finger myself senseless." "I'm watching the telly here," I snapped. "Take that fucking phone into the kitchen."

Maddie jokes are a bit passé now, baws. They've been left behind, abandoned and forgotten.

Don't mention rallies bubbles, ffs. He'll be on about his bike again.

Yes, the quote function on here works superbly. It's an example of coding that the site owners should be proud of.

And you're still missing the point of it. Sicki was a forum where anyone could joke about any subject, no matter how tasteless. The thread I posted was intended to preserve whatever jokes anyone here remembers from that site. If you don't like it, don't look at it.

Exactly. That's working, now try your lights.

You're missing the point of that thread. It's about Sickipedia. Any topic or subject was allowed on there, as long as it was funny. If it wasn't, the joke would swiftly be removed by the community, the voters or the moderators. Racism, sexism, paedophilia, incest, pretty much anything went as long as it was funny and clearly a joke. Jokes about those subjects are healthy in my opinion, because they air a problem rather than suppressing it.

To be fair to the miserable jock cunt, he did have to survive the dunblane shootings.

What's the best thing for getting chewing gum out of your hair? Cancer.

Fuck me!! Vodders has made his annual pilgrimage to the corner. About fucking time, keep it up mate, given the average jock lifespan I thought you were dead.

I've got a few entries in there, including "can I quote you on that?"

This is something that always irritated me about this islam nonsense. So they get an eternity in paradise, and 72 virgins. Well, for starters you'd be fucking bored of them within a few centuries, are you allowed to swap? And don't they realise that after the first thirty years or so the shagging stops and the nagging starts? I reckon we could end terrorism with that simple message.

Well, that's kind of how I saw it quincey. I don't claim any medical expertise, but what you've suggested strikes me as plausible. If pavlov could get his rottweilers to salivate at the sight of food or the sound of a fucking bell, that's a physiological reaction to a sensory input. I don't see why our bodies wouldn't react in a similar way.

I have no idea what mercola is or what they do, but in general I trust the bbc unless they're policing kiddy fiddling amongst their resident dj's. That's the first link I found. It makes sense to me; the concept of your tastebuds being the first thing your body reacts to seems plausible. That's why I mentioned it apropos alcohol free lager. The artificial sweetener thing was reported by another news agency and relayed by the bbc, so I tend to give it more credence than a random internet report.

"you're overweight or diabetic. Research has repeatedly shown that artificially sweetened no- or low-calorie drinks and other "diet" foods tend to stimulate your appetite, increase cravings for carbs, stimulate fat storage and weight gain, and promote insulin resistance and diabetes. There are a number of different reasons for this. First of all, artificial sweeteners basically trick your body into thinking that it's going to receive sugar (calories), but when the sugar doesn't arrive, your body signals that it needs more, which results in carb cravings. This connection between sweet taste and increased hunger can be found in the medical literature going back at least two decades (see list of selected studies below). But artificial sweeteners also produce a variety of metabolic dysfunctions that promote weight gain" http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2014/10/01/artificial-sweeteners-raise-diabetes-risk.aspx That's basically what the bbc article said, bubbles. It was quite recent, iirc.

I put a joke on sicki about exactly that decs. About using the wifes computer and wondering why all her search history involved "bbc near you"

Another aficionado of rogers profanisaurus. Good lad.

The story was that the taste of sugar in your mouth triggers the production of insulin to counteract the sugar which subsequently doesn't arrive. It was a headline story on the bbc a few months ago, if I can find a link I'll post it.

I bet he fucking does gobbler, paid from your own bank account. Have you told him how much he's worth to you when he veers into oncoming traffic?

They actually said a similar thing about artificial sweeteners recently, qc. There was a news article suggesting that diabetics shouldn't eat anything with aspartame in it, because the body would interpret it as sugar and put your insulin production into overdrive. Cue a diabetic coma.

While I get as irritated by these bipedallists as anyone else, I've never understood the argument about them not paying road tax while motorists do. There's no more connection between road tax and funding the roads than there is between national insurance and funding the health service. It would be a fucksight better if there was.

The problem with alcohol free lager nowadays, paradoxically, is that it has got too good. Becks Blue tastes much the same as usual becks. On the face of it, that should be a good thing. But when you try to curb your alcohol intake, a gulp of this stuff tells your mouth to prepare your system for a welcome influx of alcohol. Which doesn't arrive. So you end in a frenzied bout of ever more of the pisswater before you finally realise what's happening and grab the brandy. Best avoided.

To be honest wizz, I'd just had the car washed and didn't want blood all over it. And I don't get the decs reference, as far as I'm aware he and I have always got along fine.

No.