scotty

Now you mention it baws, a really friendly nigerian bloke emailed me yesterday. I'm retiring next week when the money reaches my account, what a fucking result!!

Would that I could jiggers, would that I could.

....there's beer in it.....

I'm in. Let's fix a Corner time and date, half a dozen of us could do this.

Give me the tools and I'll do the job.

I'm not diabetic mate, and if anything I'm underweight. You don't need a gym for that, just a halfway sensible diet and a couple of daily walks with the dog. If you knew what I have to shift around in my work you'd laugh your bollocks off, then cringe and clutch at your back.

So what the fuck are you doing there, bill? It's not compulsory. Do what I do, piss it away down the pub.

Is she hugely pessimistic, sick of her life and job, desperate to emigrate to the antipodes, obsessed with the beatles, poverty stricken, mourning for her lost love, abused by her employers and craving sympathy? If so, you have found your soulmate.

Bilko was recently released as a full box set, every episode. Now there is a programme which has stood the test of time.

The sequence of thought when you get your first auto; Week 1 What the fuck have I done? Week 2 I suppose it's alright... Week 3 Why the fuck do they even make manual gearboxes?

They do braille rubics cubes nowadays mate. Can't discriminate against the blind.

I don't even know what it was about her Jim, but she just seemed like she'd be a fantastic shag and up for anything. Plus she had nice legs and a hell of a cleavage, and was always smiling. And she had a filthy laugh. I'd have been in there like a ferret up a drainpipe.

I found vanessa feltz strangely alluring back when she was a chubster. Since she got divorced and lost all that weight I wouldn't give her a second glance. And no, I'm not a feeder.

I think that's the point dapps is making, deccs. I probably sink more ethanol than is good for me, it's all about choices at the end of the day.

I stopped smoking tobacco years ago dapps, but would have to challenge your assertion that there is no physical addiction to it. There most definitely is.

Three words. Steve Martin. Bilko. Fucking cunts, tainting my memories of a brilliant tv series, possibly the funniest in history.

Out of interest bill, why on earth are you watching it?

Keep up to speed eddie, keith always said dick.

Leave spot out of this, gobbler. He's my favourite modmin.

Oddly enough wizz, I rather liked him. Or more accurately, his persona. A lot of the time he was a good laugh.

All well and good, but how is she going to get those bloodstains out of her trousers?? Money down the drain.

Any tickets available, put me on the list. TIA.

...or "Keith".

I'm no expert, but I'm not entirely sure that's legal?

I assume "can't " was autocorrect, bawsy.