Cuntybaws

A pair of horse-faced cunts.

At least you captured his good side.

Jamie Oliver is the Ralph Wiggum of the culinary world.

It was a rhetorical question. Believe me, no-one wants to see Jazz's LinkedIn profile, and certainly not after they've just eaten.

I know that you get nothing until the bank transfer clears. Consensus ad idem?

I saw what you did there, you cunning linguist.

Those haemorrhagic fevers are proper nasty cunts. I bet she's got a fanny like a kicked over trifle.

Give us yer milk money, ya fuckin' spastic!

She's from Cambuslang, a place which could only be improved by an outbreak of Ebola, leprosy and monkey AIDS. Oh well, at least she wasn't driving a bin lorry.

Anyone want to see his old LinkedIn profile? (It didn't actually have a Jib Jab in it, but you can tell that he thought about it. )

I very much doubt they're one and the same. Two totally different types of crazy.

I want a pair of kitten gloves! They'd be the perfect complement for seal pup boots.

"Rules? PISS ON YOUR FUCKING RULES!"

I'm getting jolly batey just thinking about it.

Best not, as the cunt will be carrying at least one knife. It's a jungle out there.

Baby, you're a firework! The Superman costume is the least of that little cunt's worries. His ludicrous floppy fucking hair is worth a kicking in its own right, and his "dad" has the air of a creepy paedophile, peering in the window with his hands twitching furtively out of sight. (I put "dad" in quotes as I have my suspicions that the cunt has two dads, and this one might very well be his "mum".)

"Old ways, it sure is hard to change 'em... It's hard to teach a dinosaur a new trick."

What's the difference between a cow and a tragedy? A scouser can't milk a cow.

He looks a bit too much like Gerry McCann to be handing out child rearing advice willy nilly.

I found it hard to get worked up about this either way, until I read that Mr Platt "runs a business helping consumers win compensation from banks". Scotty, do us a favour and hop over on the ferry and kick the sanctimonious crap out of this smug looking cunt, there's a dear.

"The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers." William Shakespeare; Henry the Sixth Part 2, Act 4, Scene 2

"I'm too fucking busy - or vice versa."

I was going to drop a reference about Dorothy Parker's parrot into the nomination, but I thought it might be too obscure. I've underestimated my audience.

Fucking hell, Bill Bailey's let himself go!