Cuntybaws

Not only does he believe in a fictitious sky fairy, he has dedicated his life and career to it. Nothing – literally nothing – else about such a sad, deluded cunt would surprise me.

Careful now, Olly, you can't go making reference to fictitious characters' fictitious mothers' fictitious medical histories. Ask me how I know.

That gives a whole new meaning to the phrase. "I'm going for a Ruby tonight, and my ringpiece will be agony tomorrow."

I wonder just how many of these stupid fucking cunts didn't actually vote in the referendum in the first place? Maybe if they'd put down their Chardonnay and got off their fat fucking arses when it actually counted it might have made a difference, but no, they were too busy posting Boris Johnson memes on their Instagram accounts.

Is this her? I can't believe you haven't fucked them already, Ding. Some spoilsport bastard must have warned them to steer clear of weirdo pervs from Yorkshire

The Community Charge gets a bad name, but anything that upset so many Scots can't have been all bad.

All the evidence suggests that he knows his mushrooms.

Or, as Frankie Boyle once said of Victoria Beckham, "like trying to separate two deck chairs with your cock".

Business as usual in London?

Or for two minutes, whichever comes first.

I'd fuck her until the eyeballs popped right out of her lollipop head!

Here's another thread to prove that the olden days are not as good as they used to be.

Hydrofluoric, yes, but not Sulfluoric. However, as long as it dissolves terrorists who really gives a fuck what it's called.

What I'd do with them would involve liquid nitrogen, fuming sulphuric acid, low-grade sandpaper, and a wood chipper. Then I'd set them on fire. © Reverend Coitus, 2012-17

You just know a thread's gone completely to shit when Neil and Fender are the voices of reason.

Fucking hell, you're post-op now? It takes balls to go public like that!

Fuck me, all this time I thought it was Bovril.

I'm pretty sure that if a Cloggie or a Frog or a Squarehead copper shoots someone with their shiny machine gun they face a mandatory enquiry too, just like our Plod. I think this is a good thing, but that's coming from a man who doesn't trust the average 50-year old constable to wield a speed gun, let alone an automatic weapon.

From September 2014. I'm sure there must be a more recent example somewhere. http://edition.cnn.com/2014/09/18/world/gallery/not-in-my-name/index.html

It's been tried, Alf. They tend to get less votes than the Monster Raving Loony Party.

Bring on the zombie apocalypse and the total breakdown of law and order. That cunt up the road doesn't know it yet, but I'm going to kill him and fuck his wife - then eat her brains.

They've just done VIPoo too, although I don't know if that particular chicken came after our egg. http://adturds.co.uk/2017/03/05/vipoo-advert-proof-living-simulation/ I only check the site once in a while as it doesn't update too often, but it's had some real fucking gems over the years. I know this is hard to imagine, but I reckon the cunt who writes it hates Halifax adverts even more than I do. ISA, ISA, Baby.

As the old ditty had it, "There ain't no black in the Union Jack..."

You had me on board at "Adverts", Dan. http://adturds.co.uk/2017/01/15/crimes-music-flash-dacia-queen-adverts/