Cuntybaws

A cunning newly-joined nonce bent on mischief might perhaps call some other cunt a nonce in a deliberate attempt to get coolered, thereby establishing a camouflage within which to lurk on his return, all the while fantasising about other members' grandchildren.

Not saying that's what's happened here, obviously...

34 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

I will fucking teach you how this place works if it kills you.

I see what you did there.

31 minutes ago, Basil said:

Even if she were a skeleton, I'd romance the piss out of her.

If?

24 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

As for the kid, well that's a tragedy. Shame on you Basil really. When I survey the world of cuntdem this is low on my list but then perhaps I'm too fastidious for CC. 

Probably for the best that you weren't here when that Eton schoolboy was killed by a polar bear. I drank a few Crestas that night.

57 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

I didn’t read your potted insults but all the same, get out there and enjoy it!

This is no sort of constructive response. @Roadkill is fucking slaughtering you here, what are you going to DO about it?

58 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

😅 LOL

"LOL", the last refuge of the incompetent.

On 29/01/2024 at 19:53, ChildeHarold said:

Do you know Sadiq Khan was on the radio this morning saying exactly the same thing kind of. Due to a fall in passenger numbers on Fridays TfL are introducing some sort of discount scheme to boost travel on that day. Notice it's a scheme to help themselves not the average Mon-Fri 9-5 Londoner. I've always regardedcTfL as the worst type of cunts imagineable. An unelected Quango that rewards its directors and executives with eye-watering salaries expenses and pensions. A Quango with it's own property development arm that lays waste into planned dereliction land making the residents lives a misery. (Thus it was with the Jubilee Line and Elizabeth Line) A Quango with its own Legal Department that regularly teams up with local councils and The Mayor to privatise any fucking strip of open public space (eg play areas) or community asset (Council Estate Tenants Halls are a favourite at the moment, but health centres, community leisure centres also get their juices flowing) just for the fucking money to sell to private "luxury" developers who market all their apartments as "penthouses". 

Now the useless little spunk trumpet and his TfL lackeys are pissing away a fuckton of money on a "rebrand" of the overground network, having selected six new names that supposedly reflect the history of London. To ensure that everyone can get straight to the righteous indignation without having to read the entire fawning BBC "News" article, here are the highlights: 

Lionness Line - fucking dykes
Mildmay Line - fucking poofs
Windrush line - fucking blacks
Weaver Line - fucking Shylocks
Suffragette Line - more fucking dykes
Liberty Line - fuck only knows

London Overground: New names for its six lines revealed

12 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

Val Day used to be a simple untroubled unhamstered uncommercialised ANONYMOUS CARD day. Perhaps a small spray or single rose. 

Now it's a fucking shopping spree for sugar, fat and chocolate. A fucking intravenous drip for calories and obesity. Another fucking simple pleasure traduced and destroyed by THE MACHINE. 

Rage, Rage Against The Machine. 

Forget the chocolate, Harold, just whip out the Viagra and rage, rage against the dying of the light instead.

On a semi-related note, I am worried by your use of "unhamstered" above. On second thought, perhaps DON'T whip out the Viagra, eh?

32 minutes ago, Penny Farthing said:

At least one quote that his right eye "melted" from the chemical splash back .. I know from experience that eyes are not to be messed with .. at best he would have been in excruciating pain yet the CCTV images showing him walking around casually .. not always odd as in some burn injuries the pain intensifies later (sometimes several hours later) .. perhaps the chemicals got into his blood stream or even into his mouth via the saliva ducts. I would go with the "dead" part of the METS theory regardless of whether or not he went into the water

Fuck my old boots, it's Miss fucking Marple.

1 hour ago, Eric Cuntman said:

If bongo people aren’t interested in it… it’s racist.

2 minutes ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

There aren't many black bikers either.

At the last Winter Olympics Africa was represented by just six athletes from five countries, all in skiing events: Eritrea, Ghana, Madagascar, Morocco and Nigeria.

The theory is that black people can't afford all that expensive winter sports equipment, and obviously when raiding Sports Direct during a riot bobsleighs are in short supply and a bit too heavy to carry anyway.

11 hours ago, entitled little cunt said:

Those fucking grey squirrels really are facist nazi bastards

Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Tufty!

Now that fox hunting is banned, packs of hounds could chase down black people instead. I mean, they might be escaped slaves so best not to take any chances.

1 minute ago, Eric Cuntman said:

And they carry those little pen knives with tiny tweezers and toothpicks. And a pointy thing that nobody knows what it is. Probably all perverts.

Don't believe any of that bollocks you hear about it being for removing a stone from a horse's hoof. That rhyming slang is actually a clue to its real purpose, which is removing hamsters from a boyfriend's rectum.

40 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

It’s one of the most genuinely bizarre accidental deaths on record. 

See also: Aeschylus.

The only death I can find involving a poodle at terminal (geddit?) velocity was an Argentinian woman in 1988. Two other deaths also resulted indirectly from that same incident.

16 minutes ago, Frank said:

https://ibb.co/b1y280J

"I know it's not long past the winter solstice, but do you mind if I wear my sunglasses in your dimly lit, dingy establishment?"

"They're actually for a medical condition" 

"Yes, that's right, cancer."

23 hours ago, camberwell gypsy said:

I always look forward to your "Blackburnesque" (Tony, not the Northern shithole)  jokes, Bawsey. But they're few and far between nowadays. 

My girlfriend keeps accusing me of cheating. She's starting to sound like my wife.

Now, fuck off.

15 hours ago, ChildeHarold said:

Kim Johnson (Labour MP) bill to reverse the Joint Enterprise Law which prevents arseholes from getting away with blue murder by blaming each other (that's why it was brought in as victims' families watched cunts walk away free) is a nice guide to the soft as shit approach to law and order of the next government. 

She has to spout this line, though, given her target demographic.

It's a bit like Idris Elba claiming that zombie knives aren't a "monocultural" problem. I mean, good on him for lending his voice to the issue at all, but he's fooling nobody with that particular shite, just because 0.0001% of offenders may not be black. He's the anti-Dolezal.

15 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

She looks like Rachel Dolezal

Or Nkechi Amare Diallo, her latest self-adopted Nigerian name.

The logical conclusion of the semi-homeopathic notion that even 0.0001% of African genetic heritage means that you're African, regardless of appearance, is that the entire population of the world can claim to be black thanks to those australopithecine cunts. In which case, where's my fucking compo, eh?

33 minutes ago, Hammer of Cunts said:

There's hardly anyone here at any time. The site is infested with the likes of And, CH and ELC, it's not really worth the bother of engaging with them.

At least CH and ELC have their moments, albeit few and far between. It's just about worth digging through their shite for the odd nugget of sweetcorn.

2 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

His mum probably helped him too.

She's pulled a lot of trains.

34 minutes ago, Greg said:

...that being the Royal Vauxhall Tavern

Traditionally, it's The Sydney Arms.

16 hours ago, Penny Farthing said:

HEALTH WARNING

Do NOT try to wind-up @Cuntybaws.

I'm a pussycat really.

This is what you get when you tell an AI to write an article for a red top newspaper, having first disabled the "no stupid cunts" filter. 

Based on this nomination I also have my suspicions that Fender has been replaced by just such an AI. How else might one explain the lack of references to nuns and/or hammers.

13 minutes ago, ChildeHarold said:

I was trying to curry favour with the Wise Ones who escaped their material bodies thousands of years ago and now exist merely as blue spheres of light requiring nothing but the spirit of pure being. 

You rang?

7 minutes ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

@Mrs Roops is being about as effective in controlling it as the useless Covid vaccines. 

She's been laid up ever since an altercation with King Billy got out of hand over the festive period.