colonelkurtz

had the misfortune yesterday to be seated at the office christmas lunch next to one of the shy , reticent and too polite types - nice enough bloke but fucking hard work for fucks sake. just 'yes' and 'no' answers to everything and his only response to my cunt and cuntette nominations around us was a glib smile and sip from his glass of water. what is wrong with these fuckers.....do they go home and kick seven colours of shite out of the cat , give the missus one up the wrong 'un and rant about the gobshite cunt he had to sit next to at lunch !

happened to glance at carol k's weather report this morning [ you know how it is - the box is just switched on there in the corner ] and - fuck a duck - what's with the extremely low definition minimal cling black and blue hoops outfit ? ... for fucks sake bbc what's that all about ? - we don't ask much for our £145.50 per annum - so get a fucking grip you wardrobe department cunts .

pot - kettle ...au contraire ... so southern jessie and a more than a tad common tha' knows . cafetiere by bodum are de rigeur around these parts.

we hear often enough about all of our emergency services having to do risk assessments before proceeding with their duty - well why can't A&E staff be allowed to assess the risk of working safely and effectively with these sacks of shit , decide it's a no go , stick the cunts with a time spent bill and tell them and their skankblob slags to fuck right off the premises. if challenged just throw the health and safety at work act 1974 , EU infringement of workers human rights legislation and cctv coverage at the managers . i know that to their credit medical staff treat everyone and anyone regardless and are not there to judge but it is time we stopped tolerating these cunts.

concur entirely crapper old bean - although my not so guilty pleasure is the morning sight of the rack on that scottish weather woman on bbc tv .

weather warnings,traffic warnings,pollen warnings,uv warnings,warnings about warnings .....all part of the "covering our arses just in case you cunts make a claim" ongoing exercise courtesy of the fucking mardarse section of the department for the fucking obvious.

southern .."reach his arse with his lips" ... ..quality ...or even have the alleged marilyn manson "blow job to self , rib removal surgery " !!

... the cunt that the word cunt was invented for and the cunt that wannabee cunts aspire to be. that hughie green was a cunt and probably his father.

always make me smile when the main news programme ends and we get "and now over to the news from where you live" - when what the twats really mean is " and now over to a cheapo and far less flash studio set than ours and presenters who are nothing like as fit as we are - cos let's face it you're all either fecking bumpkins,northerners, jocks and micks and why would we go out of our way for cunts like you"

.... fuck all of that and just check out the rack on that scottish weather woman in the mornings on bbc

"retiring" ... "not taking seat in the house of lords" ..."blah blah blah" .... fuck right off brown - next stop for you then planet cunt and various consultancies,another university vice chancellorship ,directorships and the rest of the old boy/girl cuntery nice little earners network for you then - any chance of a double act nationwide tour with the blaircunt - something along the lines of "an evening with arsewipes extroadinaire with guest appearances by any other money grabbing politician fucker you care to name"... ok , that doesn't quite scan as a poster [as they say in meeja land] so maybe not eh !

same with me - also it's the " i'm so earnest and erudite , so how can you possibly not listen to moi " bollocks .... thing is - the late great les dawson was articulate AND funny but could carry it off without being a cunt . also stuart lee is not a cunt but michelle mcintyre is.

[bbc news 01/12/2014] say what ? .... all you london jessies - this just gets fecking better !!

baws - truly fecking wonderful tv - this and the 'kicking of archbishop brennans arse' is up there with 'don't mention the war'.

next week retailers all over the country will,for one day be celebrating this olde englishe celebration of how shops really regard customers ...any requests for assistance will be met with an icy "oh, for fucks sake" stare...... "do you have this in size 10" will illicit the "just got whats on the rack you thick bitch , are you fecking blind or what" response ..... the automated " till number 5" announcements to be replaced by "get your lazy fat arse up here you idle cunt - i haven't got all fecking day". Who knows maybe we could export this jolly old tradition to our colonial cousins over there in good old murrica - after all there's nothing they like more than a slice of that lil' old englandstershire culture.

bbc news 29 nov ..... FFS current odds "oi coom from duddloy" 5/1 "katanga" 7/4 "i was in tiswas" 15/1 "i've done nothing remotely interesting or relevant for over 30 years" 4/7

i've just about had it with the cuntery of "out of the box thinking " ... "blue sky ideas" ... "ring fencing" and all the numerous other turd end buzz words - the only relief this morning was sitting right at the back of the room day dreaming up cc responses to this management crapfest. and yes .. you guessed it - "ring fencing" came top of the list !

often worth returning to the shop simply to seek out and remind the cunt

Nothing better than a juiced best man speech ... you get guests walking out in disgust and a priceless photo collection of facial expressions ....been there and i recommend it as a great way to spend an afternoon !

......apparently chris eubanks jnr is also one of these boxering types and accordingly his father chris eubank snr " likens his son to Sugar Ray Leonard" - whatever the fuck that means. Although i have zero interest in boxering the father has always struck me as a fecking eejit as well as a cunt , surely the son will be an improvement.

me too ... just been to the bentley dealership en route to buying accrington stanley .. good times !

looks like one...talks like one...walks like one

This arsewipe has this morning spent 15 minutes or so of tv time being asked questions by one of the talking heads brigade and not given a single straight answer to fuck all. Since this ability is an essential requirement for these politocunts it wouldn't come as a great surprise if the twats have a league table listing the top dogs/bitches who show unsurpassed expertise in the art of sneering at /shitting on / laughing at us mere mortals. The way these inept cunts hold on to their jobs is astonishing and it can only be that this excuse for a home secretary must share , along with the likes of that brookes newspaper cunt woman, the blaircunt etc., etc. a "serious shit you wouldn't believe on others" file or have put out and taken a copious mileage of dick over the years from here there and everywhere to have stayed in office - fuck knows the state of her undercarraige.

fecking workshy scrounging inbred layabout cunts

These so called celeb cunts 'donate' their precious time and talent ..... whilst us mere mortals are lectured on how we should give money. Geldoff .. fuck right off .. because for every one of you and your self serving ego tripping arsewipe mates there are at least some public figures who donate in private without feeling the the need for sordid career moves and photo opportunities. If you're so concerned about africa take some time out from tax evading and go and live there for a few years ...oh ! ..wait a minute !