Decimus
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Everything posted by Decimus
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I note from your own contribution to the thread that at the time of posting you were in your early forties. As a woman, we all know that you're predisposed to knock a few years off your age. Bearing that in mind, I'd estimate that if you're not yet 50, you're definitely on the cusp. That being said, you're far closer than I to starting your own reflections on being an old cunt. Time to get typing, Mrs R. I'll return the favour in a couple of decades if you're not dead or senile by then.
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I did try and give you a like for it, but alas my quota has run out for the day. As you were missing for a good two years, I can't be arsed to explain where it comes from. Needless to say the brief summary is that there is a small subsection of members who lionise and mythologise the earlier days of The Corner. I just enjoy pointing out what a load of bollocks it is. Just like your Daily Mail influenced view of a Britain of yore, when the Kray's walked your dear old nan across the street, and women would sleep with you because they hadn't had their head turned by well hung black gentleman. Idiot.
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What a load of navel-gazing "look at me, look at me!", self-congratulatory, insincere, absolute fucking bollocks. On the one hand you have got some racist old cunt labouring under the misapprehension that people give a fuck that he's almost dead and regrets fucking up his entire life. On the other you've got Dee" the truth is out there"Bom giving it his best x-factor sob story about some crack addled pensioner from Crewe. Add to that the insincere platitudes of other members, plus the distinct lack of any sort of abuse, and you have got another mumsnet classic from the early days of the Corner. Fucking shite.
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He's good, but he's not quite Decimus.
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Rude.
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Every time I go to that there London it's really busy and there are lots of people. I don't know if anyone else has noticed but, it's also extremely difficult to journey anywhere via car, and the taxi prices are extortionate.
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Bill, last summer I got my cock out in Hoxton Square. What do you think about that?
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Lads, I've just got off the Norwich to Liverpool street express train. I'm now heading over to Dirty Dick's. I'll be at the bar wearing a pink carnation and drenched in Aramis. Shots?
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Bill's intransigent attitude has been noted since his return from Tel Aviv. We don't take kindly to anyone who refuses to follow the party line, so he's currently on a two week suspension. He's redeemed himself partially, but any further attacks on Albert will not be tolerated.
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It can't be all that bad, surely you've still got the bin?
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Shut up, Snowy, you're performing at a sub-Stubby level at the moment and should probably just fuck off and deactivate your profile. Speaking of Stubby. Whilst Eric and Bertie have made absolute fucking cunts out of themselves, I'm willing to give them a bit of leeway due to the levels of intoxication involved. However, what are your thoughts on Pecker's astonishing revelation that all the stupid fucking dreary shit that he taps out and submits is produced with absolutely no chemical interference?
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I'm fucking loving it. Say what you like about Berters, he's certainly stirring shit up a bit.
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Don't kid yourself. Within ten minutes you're going to be rendered unconscious from behind with a chloroform cloth. By 03:00 you're going to wake up north of the border, naked, hogtied with your cerebral cortex permanently wired into the Bawstrix.
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Where the fuck is that slithering toad Stubby in all of this? The teetotal fucking bore has got some major explaining to do after his grassing antics. Stubby! Put down your Horlicks and shove your pipe and slippers up your arse, you pedestrian old cunt. You owe us all an apology.
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Albert?... What's going on here? Start from the beginning...slowly. Don't leave anything out, then run through it again. When you're done, kill yourself.
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Baws is already there, tartan Tam o'shanter pulled down low, eyes peeking out from behind two holes cut out of a Daily Record newspaper, and a raging hardon barely concealed by a miniature sporran.
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No wonder you're so mind-numbingly dull, I'd wager that you'd get a headrush from a bar of Caramac.
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Fuck me.
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I'd hardly call it a meltdown. I was looking for a new Ding toy and your ill-judged barb gave me the casus belli to tear you several new arseholes. It's not too late to apologise, I can offer you protection from Bill when he logs in and inevitably destroys you. Just say the magic words.
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Out with it, you worm.
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You seem upset, Stubby. Are you sure you're not taking this all a little bit too seriously? Idiot.
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May I suggest a two week ban for indulging in a vendetta via PM abuse and turning into a humourless cunt after his week on a Kibbutz? Fuck Stubby off whilst you're at it as well.
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Stubby?
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You miserable fucking cunt. I'll offer you the same advice that I offered Mel B: Lighten up. Lol
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Shut up you fucking cunt.
