nocti

Ever thought of channeling this energy into something more beneficial to the site? Like self-immolation?

That bloke is one almighty clusterfuck of a cunt. I'm assuming you didn't twat him one, in which case I admire your restraint. A fucking hideous prick whose mum must have conceived him when using a sewer rat as a dildo. Scruffy, revolting cunt.

Now Frank don't be too hasty here mate. It might be worth considering taking one for the team. Who knows, he might just shut the fuck up.

A fair point. I think the stereotype comes from them having many more wars where they have surrendered rather than lost fighting "bravely" (or foolishly perhaps). This makes for an interesting read: http://www.militaryfactory.com/battles/french_military_victories.asp I still stand by my post about them being an arrogant shoal of cunts though.

I'm honoured, although i'd prefer those little gimp pictures you usually post.

OK I'm sorry, you win, I concede, I give up, I surrender, no more, have mercy, leave me alone. Pardon my French.

The biggest cunt i've ever met is Quentin Wilson, ex-presenter of Top Gear and Fifth Gear. What an utter waste of spunk. He has an otherwordly arrogance and shit-eating smugness for someone with pretty much fuck all going for them. Biggest fuckwit in the world, hands down, which is where his hands usually are when blokes are queuing up to hang out the back of him, the fucking poof cunt.

Their complete and utter pig-headed fuck off ignorance is almost admirable. Anything can be dealt with by a frown, shrug of the shoulders, quick grunty sigh and off they fuck to eat more small slimy animals. Fuckwittery reserved only for the upper echelons of the cunt fraternity.

Of course Bono gives a fuck. Who do you think delivers the cunt's glasses and hats by priority business class air travel?

I've always thought some kind of payment scheme was involved too. I owned an Amstrad CPC 464 as a kid, and that's the last vaguely relevant thing his shithouse of a so-called empire has done. Anything since has been to promote this visual tumour of a TV programme.

Out of curiosity, have any of these attempts to get his bellend browned ever worked?

If only being a clueless fuck-ugly spastic was an Olympic sport, i could've told my grandkids one day how I once conversed with a gold medal winning champion. However, in the complete void that is your meaningless existence, your only legacy will be getting spunk stains out of your favourite Right Said Fred shirt, you basement dwelling nappy shitting cunt.

Nobody that fat has any shame, surely. I bet he doesn't give a fuck.

Fuck off you fat cunt.

Oh god I think I know who you mean. That Jimmy hill chin channeling cunt who sidekicks the "pointless" Armstrong fuckwit?

It certainly helps me see him as more of a cunt than I did already, which I thought was nearing the impossible. I am here to learn after all.

Not that I'm assuming anything by your avatar or username, but he appears more on the telly than gramophone.

Sheep-scaring fucking cunt. He's "funny" because he can do twatty impressions of people who are almost as cancerously unfunny as he is. Also, when he falls under the cuntishly sad misapprehension that he HAS said something remotely humorous, he does an infuriating cum-slurping wink and smile at the camera, immediately setting in immortal stone his status as one of the biggest cunts to ever taint the planet.

Colour me intrigued. What's on the menu?

I'm sure that with the almighty cut he gets from all this so-called altruism, the least he could do is sort himself out a bit. Nature backhanded the cunt by giving him a face that could curdle milk from a mile away, sure, and i'm not asking him to go and get plastic surgery or anything, but the least he could do is have a shave and sort his fucking hair out. I bet every time people see him with a coffee they flick a quid in it. I think his choice to look like a bench dweller is his way of trying to connect with John Everyman, but the pot-bellied fly magnets he's trying to raise money for look better off than him.

Hazarding a guess at the absolute torrential cuntstorm of shit-tier celebrities likely to be present for the recording of this, i'm going to keep my fingers crossed for an "ill-timed" terrorist attack.

I went to Australia once. Within a few days I went red as a rapist, peeled like fuck, and trod in dogshit bare-footed. Never been tempted to go back if i'm honest.

I take it there's no prizes for guessing what particular line of figurines that Keith played with, and still does?

Anyone care to explain to a newcomer exactly what the fuck I'm witnessing here? It looks like some kind of insidious preamble to an asphyxi-wank or something similar.