Ape™️

How bist thee old butt

That'll be a yes then! I'm not far away and work with a number of foresters ol' butt.

The current trend towards larger and larger mobile phone screens is potentially bad news for anyone with a normal sized arsehole who does this in front of me.

I can imagine an iPhone 6 plus, shoved sideways up an arsehole, would definitely bring tears to the recipients eyes.......

the numerous dear and wild boar that roam this region

Forest of Dean?

Why do some people feel it's acceptable to suddenly jam on their brakes and stop in the road just because their fucking phone is ringing? I was following a car tonight that suddenly did this and came to a halt about two foot from the curb. No indicators on to say it was pulling in, the idiot just stopped. I didn't know what the reason for this manoeuvre was initially and sat behind patiently in case there was an animal in the road or the car had a problem. However, ir soon became apparent from the arm waving going on that the cunt was on the 'phone and completely oblivious to the three or four cars stuck behind him. Fucking idiot.

on the whole (thicko), you failed miserably.

Perhaps he did mean 'hole' and has had a good year of action up his shit box?

I have guns.

I personally think you have some fairly serious mental issues Frank. Just sayin'.......

My little dawg's yapping again, maybe he needs walkies.
 
Heal boy, heal decimutt, stop licking your arsehole or I won't kick you in the bollox.

Are you special needs or some kind of retard?

I believe I may have to find a more powerful audio device to indicate the presence of utter drivel, as the klaxon just ain't going to cut it with this.

I have done this once as described in the alleged fantasy you fucking inarticulate cunt.

Whatever you say Walter!

Mind you my favourite time to be in a hospital is when the police / prison guards, bring in a prisoner with injuries, who comes in handcuffed strutting around like hes some fucking wanna be hard cunt. When they sit the prisoner down its game time. Pick up a magazine and pretend to read it. Keep making eye contact with the prisoner so the waste of fucking space get s abit riled up. Wait until the prison guard is looking elsewhere and then sign to the prisoner that he is a fucking poof and a total wanker, blow him kisses and wink. Eventually he will become infused with rage and kick off. Quickly read your magazine and pretend your unaware to the situation. Sit back and enjoy the little fucking wanna be charles manson get pounced on and dragged out like the fucking barnyard animal he is. I have done this once and i have to say it was fucking hilarious

Fuck me another Walter Mitty on the corner. Tell me, how many times have you actually done what you describe in the fantasy above?

I've had four of those Hestin Bloominting mince pies.

Did you serve them with liquid nitrogen sauce? The cunt seems to use an awful lot of it.

Fucking hell, some of the comments on this thread are pretty low. I know this is a cunting website, but let's not discriminate against other members, no matter how much history there is, because cancer certainly does not discriminate.

Agreed. Some of these comments go too far.

When her nostrils 'merged' I considered fucking her up the nose. I would have filmed it and released it as one of those sniff movies.

Give her one up the pong'un?

The drivel is strong in this nom.

Utter fucking Drivel. Again.

better than being a cockney wanker anyday,leave it out bruv hee heee

Your trout mask may well be a replica, but your trout brain is undoubtedly genuine.

Am i allowed to wear a white hood over my head while shopping in Tescos today?

You're welcome to wear a polythene bag over your head any time you like as far as I'm concerned.

Completely unrelated to the fucking drivel dispensing itself from your cunting imagination, where the fuck is the Christmas hamper for Punkape thread gone?

I suspect it contravened the prime directive: "Cunt shall not Cunt Cunt", which is a shame as it was fucking good entertainment Deci, old chap.

There's a load of cunts at the Gordon's house and they need sorting out.

Sounds like a job for Ephraim.......

Amazon sent this young lad tons of santa under your tree gifts - now they say he can have them for free or he said it's thanks to how:  cannabis grinder he is designing

What the fuck are you talking about? Read what you have typed and see if you think it makes any kind of sense.

 
I am being made to look a fool or cunt

You aren't being made to look a fool or cunt.......you seem to be doing it of your own free will!

Jesus H fucking Christ, why delete my earlier post with a picture from the Black & White Minstrel Show? Lenny Henry was in the fucking Black & White Minstrel Show!

Certainly seems a bit extreme. There was footage from the show on national TV only last week in "It was Alright in the 1970's" so not completely taboo, especially in the context it was posted.

Courtesy? On the roads? Best take a time machine to 1908!
 

Agreed. It's not as if the normally polite and tolerant driving public suddenly become impatient maniacs at the first sign of winter weather. The roads are full of impatient cunts and, at times, I am ashamedly one of them.

3/10. But an improvement nonetheless. Wanker.

A generous score, Jacko. Personally I give the stupid fat cunt 1/10, and that's only because I'm enjoying my first drink in a week.

Well, they are not exactly bright on here londonm :wacko:

They aren't exactly bright? That's fucking rich coming from you! Have you been sniffing corn flour again?