Witheredscrote

How is it going in Brighton today Ape, are you full of 'Pride'. I should imagine that by now your boiler suit is ripped down the back from shoulders to knees, and your arse resembles a fisherman's wader full of ketchup. Take it steady and keep swigging the Prep.

Pretty close, but my cutting wit will never die.

Ape doesn't run a car, he saves all his money for train tickets to pride festivals. I bet he is in Brighton right now, bedecked in a lycra boiler suit ready for tomorrow mornings start.

Yes fucking great iron ones.

Well Wiz apparently they are. I have been to my local café bar this après and it was absolutely packed inside and out with loud overbearing English holidaymakers with typically screaming brats running amok.. For a split second I thought I was in Brighton, but there were no poofs mincing about, the booze was half the price, and the sun was shining

You are Donald Trump and I claim my prize.

Yes, if mixed with strawberry yoghurt and served with a Gurt steak

One lorry, one mile, one homophobe.

Yes, that is why Bubba is holidaying here right now. He hates to feel homesick.

Well if the cunt is passing through here I hope he keeps passing.

Already done. I used one of his spunk soaked wigs that I found under the bed.

No bullshit actually. Frank has just left after a week in my gite. I am a glutton for punishment.

What again. Is he at the CC time share with Decs?

Yes Sundays are a cunt aren't they. I spent last Sunday loading shit into trailers

Well it beats having crack shoved up your arse and the customs man looking for it with his pencil. Were you the reason for the ferry delays?

You only think you are?

We have not been formally introduced Hector, but fuck off anyway.

He is fucking lucky. My French half is racist, my English half is not. I spend most of my time arguing with myself. Still I don't offend other people, only myself.

To think in 2016 the world is still inhabited by these backward cunts, and don't get me started on the fucking Welsh

Standards must be maintained

Are you unwell Decs, are your webbed digits sore?

My gite was superb until I let you stop over. The chambermaid is still scrubbing jizz and vomit off the walls. Only yesterday a wig was found to be blocking the U-bend. Leaving that McDonald voucher as a tip indeed. Fuck off and eyeball your crabs.

Fuck off

Never ever use that word on here again. Read up on your CC history you stupid cunt. R.I.P. Apple. Ian Botham is a cunt

Even up back passages?