Frank

Your father couldn't look himself in the mirror, could he? The final nail in the coffin was when he realised that his already fucking useless shoulder-less son, was a fucking faggot. Boom!

I thought you'd be more concerned over your incestuous gaping bumhole. Good morning.

With all that shit you've got going on, and who knows what else there might be, I'd still take you over that gyppo... the stupid fucking cunt.

What are we looking at Pen? So far I've got you down for cataracts, acute deafness in one ear, fucked up knees, suicidal thoughts, no teeth and a mind shot to pieces.

Extraordinary. Good night punk.

You see, punk? You just don't have it.

I think you've taken my question out of context. What I'm trying to say is.. did your old man ever try to fuck you up the arse?

Answer the question you creepy red trouser-wearing dick swallower. Before your father took his own life by blowing his pompous brain out of the back of his head, did he used to play with you?

Before your father shot himself through the roof of his mouth, did you ever play together?

What's on your mind Punk? You've logged in and told us all to fuck off. Now what?

Indeed. Upload from website tinypic. Make sure your phone has has the location services tab turned on.

I doubt it, Kurt.. you struggle with simple sentences. I can't see you putting a video together.

Pretty much spot on there, Kurt. Can I call you Kurt? What else you got for us this evening?

Better.

Loosen up you wooden sap. You've gone full circle.. from fucking dalek-style body popping text, to no punctuation whatsoever. No one cares here Luke. Be yourself you stupid old cunt.

I'm genuinely flattered by the admiration I get from the majority of the board. I think you'll find there's a little Frank in everyone here, although Fender takes it too far.. even copying my double dot adapted semicolon. He is after all, the thickest cunt (after Snatch) the site has ever seen.

As it happens Jackie, I will be in Paris this weekend if I can get this banger back by Tuesday. I dare you to meet me.

Mrs R.. sweet-pea, I will be eternally grateful if you would kindly release idiots quince and decs. Actually, just quince will do fine.

Jackie, I've inadvertently found myself having a weekend for one is some god-awful fucking French town called Amboise.. I broke down on the motorway in one of my classics. I thought the Corner might see me through, but there's no cunt on here with anything to offer. Have you noticed Luke Swarm's wooden style of writing? He's like a fucking dalek with a keyboard.

Shut up Luke, you fucking robotic talking dyslexic chancer. We're all suffering here.

Sure. Have a listen to this Snatch. Let me know how it makes you feel -

Tell us a funny story bubble. I've got nothing, Bill's sulking, Luke Swarm's trying and you're treading water. Fucking rubbish the lot of you.

I'm coming for you, Eddie.

Any news on that pump? I can't stay here forever.