King Billy

1944. He was performing on stage at his local Gestapo officers Christmas party

If that’s the way you’re going to talk to me I won’t be coming to Christmas dinner at yours this year. I wasn’t coming anyway as last year the Iceland Hedgehog Crown you served up was like an Arctic Roll (burnt to a crisp on the outside and frozen solid in the middle). Worse than something you’d find in a dumped fridge at the back of Grenfell Tower. Merry Christmas and 🇬🇧NO SURRENDER🇬🇧

She is Scottish though. Laura Cuntybawsberg? No that’s just me thinking all mental again (probably).

My next nom will be longer Gypps, probably akin to War and Peace or the entire printed series’ of The Encyclopaedia Brittanica. Hopefully there’ll be something buried deep in it that you might think possibly worthy of a like. It’s Christmas ffs.

As a proud ‘conspiracy theorist’ I’ve observed the increase over the last few years in people who’ve been ‘prepping’ for some unspecific but imminent emergency or disaster, by constructing secure bunkers and stocking them with provisions in the hope of sitting out whatever existential threat they believe is about to occur. These people are routinely ridiculed and vilified as far right nutters, anti vaxxers, climate change deniers etc. (badge of honour imo) by the MSM, who day after day spout the current dishonest narrative scripted for them by their globalist paymasters, who’ve mapped out the future ie perpetual fear, poverty caused by the forced abandonment of our natural resources (oil and gas) with all their unprecedented benefits, that have vastly increased the living standards and life expectancy of billions of people across the world in the last 200 years or less. So why the fuck would Mark Zuckerberg (lizard person extraordinaire) suddenly decide to become a bunker building tinfoil hat weirdo right now? Why is this vile fucking cunt splashing out $270m to build a 100 acre beachfront mansion on the Hawaiian island of Kauai with a 5000 square ft. underground bunker, with its own power, water and air supply (and escape hatch?) when sea levels are allegedly rising due to man made climate change (bullshit)? Or could it be that these nonhuman reptilian cunts like him, Billyboy Gates, Barrack Hussein Obama and his husband Michael etc. now see the writing on the wall and realise that their days living the pampered highlife, giving each other their funny handshakes, fucking then murdering kids for dessert at their exclusive dinner parties over at the Clintons (allegedly), and sneering down their hooked beaks at all us serfs are numbered, and we’re coming for their cock battered arseholes anyday now, and they just might be able to cling on to a few more days or even weeks of their miserable lives underground, drinking prepubescent blood and injecting fresh adrenochrome before the doors are battered in and they finally face the wrath and fury of the masses who made them richer than they could ever imagine, but been treated with nothing but contempt as a thank you.

Soon? Immediately wouldn’t be too fucking soon (except for his decomposing sisters who’s Christmas would be absolutely ruined by seeing the vile old cunt again).

Have you been spying on me? It’s been a long time since I lived in Little Venice so how could you know my every movement as you’ve just described? Are you the Rigsby looking bloke with the binoculars and the mail order trousers who used to stand on the canal bridge by the theatre cafe all night every night?

🎶Last Christmas you laid me an egg🎶 🎶But the filthy fucking thing was covered in smeg🎶 🎶This year to prove I’m not queer🎶 🎶etc. etc. etc.🎶

Are you OK Withers? What the fuck has happened to you recently? I’m going to pray for you over Christmas mon ami. In the meantime get fucked.

Soak yourself in petrol and go to bed with your electric blanket on.

Are you calling me a cunt?

She certainly looks a lot younger than her 84 years DC. I wouldn’t have had her down as a day over 75 mate, especially after she’d flashed her obviously well maintained growler at me a couple of times. You’re a very lucky man to have her. It’s none of my business to offer advice to a man of the world such as yourself but I will anyway as I consider you to be an OK sort of bloke who could one day be a friend (of sorts). My advice to you if you want to keep her is ‘Watch out Rooney’s about’.

Biddy Mulligans?

Tbh Raas I rarely go into London nowadays as the state of the fucking place and its current inhabitants tends to bring out the fucking worst in me for obvious reasons. I used to live in Little Venice and it was a great place to live about 30 years ago. Westbourne Terrace Rd. right by the canal basin and 10 mins from the West End. But tbh I still talk to a couple of old friends who still live there and they tell me that they don’t feel safe going out at night anymore and that car crime, burglary, muggings etc. are through the roof compared to when I lived there. Fucking disgrace and no one in power gives a flying fuck, probably because they want the nice parts of London destroyed and all the decent people to leave. Khan is a cunt.

DC I’ve been very busy flogging dead trees for the last couple of weeks and haven’t had a chance to keep up with the footie, so I was wondering how the Reds and the Blues are getting on at the moment? I assume The Toffees are smashing it at the top of the table and The Reds are probably propping everyone else up, down at 17th or thereabouts as usual.

You’ve spelled Rasputin wrong.

The original Mangal in Arcola St. was the first ocakbasi gaff in N London and it’s still the best imo. My snooker club on Dalston Jct. was just across the road from it and I used to eat there or have the greasy Turkish cunts send the food over almost every day. The only thing I didn’t like was having to pretend to like the cunts.

‘Brown girl in the ring’. A Toxteth favourite.

I told you it would look ‘the bollocks’ in your ‘yard’. I bet all the other inmates were fucking impressed when they came out for their exercise today.

Fuck off DC. You’ve got one of the finest ‘non drop’ Nordmann Spruce trees that money can buy, which is probably not the best description of it as Mrs Cnut didn’t fucking pay me a dollar for it. And your slanderous inference that I may have engaged with the lovely Karen Cnut in a bit of festive fanny fumbling is absolutely preposterous.I will swear on the Koran or even this months edition of ‘Readers Grannies’ that nothing of a carnal nature occurred, despite her repeated attempts to lure me into her sick depraved fantasy. And to make matters worse when I got outside the fucking stereo and alloy wheels were gone from my imaginary M4. Fuck off.

Reported.

🎶What do you mean?🎶

No.

My imaginary M4 was seized last week for unpaid parking fines Ed. I’ve been getting about on an old Yamaha FS1E which I’ve had stored in the shed since the early 80s that I was going to restore some day. It’s still got its original L-Plates so I should be OK. Withers however is a fucking disgrace tbh. No-one would blame you if you smashed his daft face to a pulp.

How many one off outrageous, fully working and rideable motorcycles have you made from classic 1970’s and 80’s Kawasaki two stroke triple and four stroke four cylinder bikes in your shed at the bottom of your garden, many of which are displayed in motorcycle museums across the world or have been sold for a ridiculous price to collectors? Just asking.