King Billy

I’m afraid to try this poofery in case I like it too much

Fell out of his wheelbarrow while drinking his lager

Do you not mean 75% Were still metric until March 29th and then we’re freeeeeeee

I’ve been a muff diver for many a year I’ve spent all my money on muff diving gear The goggles the snorkel the muff diving tank If I’m not out muff diving I’m having a wank

One of the greatest movies ever made “Schindler’s Cosh”

So you found your crayons then. I’m pleased for you mate

Arbecht Macht frei

And then Liam Neeson coshed him and threw him in the oven

So if they put a sign in the window of all knife shops saying “ No blacks” Fucking job done

Their manager taught them all to play the pink oboe

My dad was a slave driver. I don’t mention that much either.

How did the fucking pigmy reach the pedals?

I’ve got loads of tippex if you need to be corrected

But seriously though folks, on a positive note, he has managed to preside over a 600% increase in knife crime and the street murder rate in London has increased 5 fold so at least things have never been so good on that front.

I could give him a bye for all that other shit, but a fuckin bus drivers son. Well that explains everything. Come on Khan. Get that bus out. I hate you Khan. Aaarghhhh

I once bought 500 bottles of Tippex. I made a big mistake

Come on mate We all know politicians never do anything dishonest or deceitful. Perish the thought. That would mean that they’re all just a bunch of lying cunts and that wouldn’t be right. Would it ??

A Venezuelan company called Smartmatic has just been awarded the contract to count the votes in next years London mayoral elections. They will be paid 9 million pounds of public money, more than double the cost of the 2016 contract. The company has links to the Madura regime in Venezuela. In fact there is overwhelming evidence of major irregularities during the last election there. Mayor Khan does fuck all except complain about having no money to spend on police etc etc etc due to Tory cuts but seems to see nothing wrong in this strange, (some might say corrupt) decision. Perhaps he’s just a fuckin bent little racist windbag midget cunt. Who knows?

A glimpse into the future for the ex Honda workers in Swindon

If Soubry is up for playing my arse it’s game on 👅

Vince Cables Alarm call

When I wrote “Good for her” I was pointing out The bishops shit spelling. The only thing I can think of as good for that fucking whirling dervish Begum would be about 6 spoonfuls of Harpic in her next cup of tea which is no doubt supplied free of charge like everything else this parasitic cunt gets in life. Just thought I should clear up any misunderstanding.

Guess you had to be there

When I first saw this my first thought was “Let me know when there’s a few more” and then my next thought was “Fuck it”

Daddy, why has mummy got a bigger cock than you?