King Billy

I had a Sinclair C5 It was shite too

In my opinion the Eiffel Tower is a poor imitation of the majestic Blackpool tower which I believe is still the tallest structure on Earth, around 93 miles high and made from 100% British Steel before all the workers went on strike and found themselves on the dole. The only thing you can see from space. Apart from the pile of scrap metal which used to be known as the Maginot Line

French fries on their shoulders. Chips are British. And another thing, all this shite they call ‘classic French cuisine’ What the fuck is that? A couple of peas, sorry petit fucking pois, a piece of horse meat or some other crap about the size of a squirrel turd and a drizzle of ‘jus’ all over the fuckin triangular plate. Merci beaucoup.That will be £90. Yeah right! No wonder the cunts are all fucking stunted midgets.A good feed of le roast boeuf might do the cunts a world of good and shut them up for a while. One day there was a French Cunt who didn’t whine and whinge. But unfortunately it was only for one day

99.9999999999% of the frogs collaborated with the krauts during WW2. OK after putting up such strong resistance to the invasion for about a week they probably didn’t have much fight left in them, considering they had none to start with, However once liberated by us and the yanks they immediately had some sort of memory implosion and decided that they had singlehandedly as a nation defeated the Nazis and henceforth and forthwith would basically treat us and even more so the US as the enemy. That bollocks has more or less continued till now.Their best friends, The Germans who we helped to become the powerhouse of Europe again, while we, The victors were queuing for rations of bread and necessities well into the 1950s. So it would be difficult not to conclude that we would surely have been far better to have lost or even surrendered at the first opportunity. Instead we have become a massive nation of cunts with a spine like a jellyfish. Ah well never mind eh.

I was looking for your horde of looted gold. Sorry I didn’t mean to look at your private magazines.

Everyone knows DVDs exist

Perfectly understandable. It’s a welsh person after all.

I’m not really sure if Adolf and his lot would’ve been ok with stringy Nazi lesbians. They were a bit non- inclusive about anyone different.

Or just tie a knot in her burka and fling her in the canal with The sack of unwanted kittens

All the commercial pop stations are crap now. They play the same small playlist over and over again. It’s like a modern day musical version of Chinese water torture. Drip drip drip until you lose the will to live or put on your 50 year old Jonny Cash 8 track cassette

‘Capital punishment’ with Michael Scalpel. Miss Begum can’t really complain about having her bonce lopped off. After all she has said she doesn’t have a problem with her so-called enemies being beheaded.

If everyone becomes extremist then there aren’t any extremists. Unless some become extremist extremists.

Goodnight John Boy

Tricky with only one arm. Torpedo it anyway before he starts people smuggling. Fuckin Sally Ann made me pay a 500 pound deposit to borrow a triangle on Valentine’s Day. Waste of time that was. I even wrote her a love poem “Roses are red Violets are blue. This is a triangle Get in the car. I got 18 months for that miscarriage of justice. She told the court she didn’t know me. Fuckin wimmin eh You love em or you hate em. I love her and I’m pretty sure she will eventually feel the same, about someone else probably but at least she hates me. That’s better than nothing isn’t it?

Most of these modern actors are fucking useless. As soon as they start whining #me too and all that shite someone should explain that Mr Weinstein is a very nice man and give them George an Mildred box set and send them off to have a serious think about career options. And also tell them to stop acting like a cunt. It’s not what the public want nowadays. It’s 1957 for fuck sake.

Gemma’s Dad?

She told me she loved plastic. I thought “That’s OK” Fuckin bitch had actually said she was leaving me for a spastic. That really made me feel great. I actually did feel great as soon as the cunt was gone though.

Very true. My Dad used to tell us about his Mk10. He said he needed a stepladder just to get into it. Think he meant a crowbar.The pigs came and took it from our driveway one day. The old man said it was a factory recall. Something about having to start it with a screwdriver. They took him away too. The car never came back but he fucking did after 2 years. We all believed him when he said he’d been working with the police and the Jaguar factory trying to sort out the faults, except my mum who told him to fuck off.I hated her so much for that. So did my dad. He chinned her and rightly so. Fucking bitch bad parent cunt. I’m lucky to have grown up without any fucking cunting issues. Guess I got my dad to thank for that

The vinyl solution Gas the cunt

European oneion

I don’t believe it!!

I find that plush velvet is a cunt to keep clean. The missus reckons old school vinyl is making a comeback. Anyway what happened to MKs 2 to 10?

What do they mean 2 1/2 years and still no deal? Do these fucking people know nothing? “Hundred Years War” what’s the fucking hurry ? Brexit calendar please. We’ll be in touch around the turn of the century. Now Fuck off and leave us alone or we’re not rescuing you in the next world war. Ungrateful Cunts

Dr. Crippen and his jolly assistant Nurse Aylitt

My aunt was a bit of a goer though. Apparently she would go all weak at the knees at the sight of a man in uniform. She once fell over walking past Greggs