Major Cunt

Fucking spooky how I changed my avatar to 'Snake Plisskin' last night, then you mention it in a random post this morning. I believe this might have been Donald Pleasence's last film, I might be wrong. He was a fantastic English actor and a favourite of mine. As 'Doctor Samuel Loomis' in 'Halloween 1' is probably his legacy part in my opinion. I just felt reminded of Snake, and am hoping to possibly do some of his acts. I'm a convicted criminal who knows a bit about firearms, but unfortunately not ex special forces. However I've read Andy McNabb's book from a squadie to SAS sergeant, so I'm hoping that's enough.

You're bang on the money there, Stubbs. I've received about 8 rat likes In total, it's akin to hunting for truffles. An uninformed punter could easily mistake him for a Kike.

Good man, Ratters. Remain in CB radio contact my handles Major Cunt, okay. Me, Eric, and Bill, will probably be requiring you as a pilot. Bring the corned beef along, we'll take care of the firepower!

I have exactly the same outlook on this, Eric. You might have noticed I'd changed my avatar in honour of 'Snake Plisskin,' I'm thinking more 'Escape From New York as opposed 'LA.' I've got a Terminator 1 style list of weapons I'll be stashing at the Majors residence, particularly a Franchi SPAS Automatic Shotgun. I've had a half decent life, let's go out in style!

Fair enough. Maybe I'd dreamed the whole thing and should be seeking psychiatric help again, or possibly you've sobered up. Whatever the case, I shall be putting this whole business behind me in the tradition of Islamic principles. I'm thinking of converting now the war could well be lost. I seriously fucking hope I'm wrong... insha'Allah

Well, your late night drunken tirade seems to have disappeared, and I'll put this down to admin. I really don't know where to start with a fucking bigoted idiot like you.? Telling me you've got into a scrap in a park with some other dosser over a drop of meths, am I to be scared by this Jewdy? Yeah I've made a few mistakes in life, and I've paid fucking dearly. Was I young, foolish, greedy and unaware of the consequences of my actions, yeah. I also found out that I'm not exactly who I thought I was after a couple of years inside. On a more positive note I worked fucking hard to turn my life around, and get away from that shithole environment, from negative influences. It also happens to be the one that fuels about 99% of your posts dickhead. I couldn't give a fucking monkeys if you like me or not as the feelings mutual. I've put out an olive branch as a touch of respect, and you've just acted like a cunt, again. Prison in this country is not full of inmates arse fucking each other, but of misery, loneliness, depression, sorry to spoil that hard-on. A few colourful characters I met along the way were genuinely normal blokes who'd just made poor choices. There's quite a few people on here I actually have a lot of time for, and others i became to change initial views on. I'd like to leave you with your own gambit,"this is the internet mate, it ain't fucking real."

It's coincidental that you and Judge should touch upon this scenario. Only this afternoon I was coughing up some residual tar after 20 years of smoking various substances. I've switched to vaping this past few months, which requires a City and Guilds as a sparkie at first. These shops are basically trying too rip you off through baffling cunts with bullshit, selling you the most suitable coil and device for ones pleasure. Listen mate, I just want to turn it on and get a lungful of nicotine, was my eventual retort. Anyway I'm digressing here, let's get back on topic. Some bloke who was walking his dog in front of me increased his pace tenfold, upon hearing my lungs release an impressive greenie. Upon this unplanned act I've managed to unsettle about a dozen people this afternoon. I'm a cunt, I know, but there's a bit of solace in that mate!

Any ideas on the figures of Corona related deaths in the holy land, Ratters? I know you like keep track on these matters.

Strange times are afoot ladies and gents, It's like a fucking ghost town out there tonight, and every cunts on edge. I'm predicting that the only punter immune to Corona is our Peckham based correspondent Jewdy. This has absolutely nothing to do with genetics at all. I'm basing this purely on the fact that he's observing the whole fiasco from the safety of his wheelchair, through the nicotine stained net curtains of "Nelson Mandela House." You see 'self isolation' is just another day observed through a haze of Mogadon and Special Brew when you're Jewdy. I can picture him now listening to Enoch Powell speeches through a TDK-90 cassette, rambling that only Nigel Farage can save us now. This whole fucking mess is a right pain in the arse, partially made worse by 'Joe Public,' ignoring probably the only piece of advice I agree with Boris on. The only cunts who seem to be carefree are the myraid of Roma Pikeys, assorted ex Eastern Block wankers, and every other unwanted fucker forced upon us. I actually agree with Judge on certain points, and he's bright enough to know it's all just a piss take on here.

Grab Uncle Ape some beans while you're there, Tesco own brand obviously. I'm sure he'll be sitting on a few hundred cans, but you can't be too careful in this unfolding crisis. I also hear they do a nice line of own brand value cider, but that'd be preaching the choir no doubt.

I may well take you up on that Bill, it's certainly a tempting offer. If we survive Corona, I'll join the orange order and help you fuck Panz's clan off.

Fucking insanity isn't it. It's a good job we've still got Northern Ireland, maybe all of us true Brits could just fuck off over there, and start afresh.

That's a good point, Bill. Ape could make a small fortune with his stock.

I'm as honest as a Jewish MP, Ratters! I've no intention on doing any more bird, but that's subject to change on here. You might wanna rethink the new mantra though, I believe a certain tracksuit clad pedo was heavily involved in that business.

Just keep blowing on the skin flute with your Willie Nelson tribute act. I hear Louis Walsh is looking for new talent.

I've just adopted the Judge diet for your stated reasons. I'm currently living on family size Doritos, multi packs of Double Deckers, and the occasional satsuma. I've decided to give the bottles of Frosty Jacks a miss though. There's fuck all in the shops, and I'm severely tempted to batter some stupid cunt with a tin of beans, if I could find some!

So you're an Oirish do-as-you-likey then? The type who indulge in ripping off OAP's, and shitting in council parks. I hope the cunts all contract Corana and die.

I was trying to find an Oirishman during my lifetime that's a household name in physics/technology, or has contributed to mankind in some unique way. I'm afraid, I'm stumped. One thing that you certainly excelled in was terrorism. The Mohammad's have had nowhere near as much success as the Provos on the UK mainland. Seeing as it's looking likely that you're due a goat shagger influx, I'm hoping the figures will be of a Moses type exeodus, (wrong religion I know.) Maybe the boys could show them how it's done properly. I'd like to think that selecting anywhere bar old blighty's as a target now, after the Gandhi style intervention of 'Bill I'll shag and sniff anything Clinton.')

Good call, Cap. Although 12 cans of Tennants Super is probably the better choice.

Ape, I'm about 97% sure that the last time he was in pub they still permitted smoking. It's his prop, just like Frank's boat (which I sincerely hope is torpedoed,) Or Roops as the Corners font of knowledge.. However, I'm 100% sure your prediction will be true.

After 6 weeks away working my bollocks off, I've had an incredibly Ossie Osborne inspired afternoon unwinding. During a small spring clean (Jewdy take note, I reckon your lino's at least 6 inches deep in kebab wrappers.) Anyway, I digress. Whilst clearing away some useless lotions and potions, I stumbled upon a box of Pregablin, a couple of strips of Lorazepam, and a pot of morphine tablets, left spare after an operation. To say I'm completely of my head would be an understatement. If Tump got his hands on the NHS I'd be paying about £200 for these goodies. If that incompetent, buddy of Epstein, perma-tanned cunt thinks he's getting his hands on the NHS, he can fuck right off. I'd still bang his wife though.

There's a nasty little pattern evolving in Hollywood, Ratters. Epstein, Polanski, Weinstein? I'd have expected you to be on this.

You also failed to omit the amount of time it takes a fat cunt on a mobility scooter to be served, thereby holding up a queue. I'll just put that down to your usual double standards, and distinct lack of intellect, obviously.

Cracking idea that, J. Have you ever considered a job in retail management? Look at old Philly Greene, that cunts worth a fortune, and like yourself happens to be Jewish. No need to thank me.

Fuck me, she looks like human/Lion crossbreeding experiment gone tits up. What possibly possess some cunt, probably a Yank to pay to look like a character from 'He Man.' Who in their right mind would fuck this creature, except Neil, obviously.