Major Cunt

6 hours ago, Mrs Roops said:

As a deadbeat dad I doubt you even know the names of your own grandchildren.

That's a bit below the belt, Roops. Are you going to count this as an infraction of the fabled Corner commandments and ban yourself? 

Can't you both just agree to disagree? I think this debate has run its course, and you can reignite it when people inevitably start dropping like fly's from respiratory complications in the coming years.

4 hours ago, Old Chap Raasclaat said:

I took onboard many a warning about Frank in my early days here Major, and I'm glad I did. @Frank is like HIV/Aids (which I'm sure he has) in that it's very difficult to get rid of once it's infected you. Fair play to @Dyslexic cnut though, he gave Frank a proper kicking a while ago, resulting in the pair of them developing an awkward 'no public signs of affection' type relationship. I'm sure DC would come running again if Frank flashed his arse (whilst wearing his wig of course) but I'm going to try my best to keep the new, reformed DC away from that vile cunt. 

 

You've got your head screwed on, Rasters. Taking the tried and tested approach of dipping a toe in with a few amusing posts whilst observing who's likely to lead you down the garden path or give out a map.

Frank's still capable of turning a newbie over (not in the biblical sense though, fortunate for the concerned party) in a few posts on the incredibly rare occasions when he's on form.

The man's as crafty as a shithouse rat and can be lower than a snakes belly. Eight years ago the man could have sold loafers to a fucking snake!

1 hour ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

Many thanks for this endorsement, it means so much to me.

’I was wondering what you think about it?’ ‘What are your thoughts?’ etc, are not ‘your signature’ Raaso, any more than your usage of ‘lol’ frequently…they’ve been lifted from others on here.😉 I preferred your old letter writing format which I believe was original, but that’s gone.

My sex-life (or lack of it right now) should be of little concern to you, but I do have to thank you for that advice, you wax doll stabbing, voodoo Cnut.

In all honestly, DC, were you playing the long game with your previous incarnation as Franco's faithful sidekick? Was the fawning over Graham Norton-esque loafers/shirts a strategic move in order to gain his trust to then fuck him over at a later date? 

I'm only dubious due to your refusal to take on board the sage advice dispensed by myself, Eric and Killer. We pointed out several previous incidents where the Corners Rocky Horror Show extra had lured naive newbies to fictitious meetings at their expense, and at the time the cunt had you in full Stockholm Syndrome. 

You've no need to hang on to his coattails anymore as your durability has been thoroughly tested. You can be a creative and insightful commentator at times.

And congratulations on putting the crack pipe down. Like Cookie from Rock an Rolla i hope you locked it in a smoke proof coffin!

14 hours ago, judgetwi said:

apparently pissed 24 hours a day

You crafty old kike, Jewdith. I did have my suspicions, but it's confirmation that you've finally managed to replace the saline in a drip for Special Brew.

No more hangovers, eh?

😆

On 27/06/2022 at 16:16, Eric Cuntman said:

You're in favour of schoolboys wearing skirts? When did you first become interested in this sort of thing?

This sort of thing seems to go hand in hand with a collection of binoculars. Very strange! 

19 hours ago, judgetwi said:

Stop digging that hole Marjorie. It’s my job to make you look like a complete thicko knobend. You’re trying to deprive me of all my fun. I don’t appreciate that to be honest. What the  fuck do you think I’m on here for?

I thoroughly enjoy our exchanges, Jewdith, and think the whole question of who's looking the bigger cunt here is subjective. I still think you're backpedalling in relation to your initial post regarding the purchase of individual socks unless you were shopping in Tel Aviv.

You're here to consistently put your foot in it without even realising, and to continue posting tales of retail surprises that are as bent as a nine bob note.

Shalom, you tighter than a ducks arse, wheelchair bound, dense cunt!

29 minutes ago, ProfB said:

yes.

Well, i dunno where you shop, but i have only ever seen or bought them in pairs. Why would you only need one fucking sock? Eric has kindly outlined the group that would benefit from such lunacy.

Single socks should only be sold to soldiers that have lost a leg whilst serving, and also be heavily discounted like Jewdy's tranny pants!

20 minutes ago, ProfB said:

Their gussets (Sains, ladies knickers) are inadequate, my bestie, big Kazza's panty liner ended up stuck to her arse.

Love ProfB xxx

Evening, Prof, have you ever seen socks being sold sold singly as opposed to by the pair, ever? 

33 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

And a big fuckoff telescope.

Quality! 🤣🤣🤣

1 minute ago, King Billy said:

Tucker Billy? says the freak who spends an hour ‘tucking’ his humongous cock between his varicose vein riddled legs and adjusting his fake Velcro vagina before he goes out in public pretending he’s a female.

It must be a struggle pulling off a Buffalo Bill act from Silence Of The Lambs whilst using a zimmer frame.

4 minutes ago, King Billy said:

sow? 🤣

Definitely. I tested positive for the old kung flu, Bill. I felt rough for about four day's and just put it down to a cold with an incredibly sore throat. I've previously had influenza and can categorically state that Covid isn't a patch on it. That wiped me out for two fucking week's and developed into bronchitis as i presumed i had just had a nasty cold.

A paramedic told me that earlier in the day they had a patient die of a cardiac arrest and the hospital put it down as Covid. 

From the horses mouth mate!

4 hours ago, Parabolic Cunting said:

You are a hook-nosed, shoe-cobbling, gold-hoarding, gas-chamber-dwelling fucking cunt.

Any good?

That paragraph sums up the Golders Green dwelling neanderthal in a nutshell, PC.

He's not the sharpest knife in the draw to start with, throw in a crippling addiction to alcohol and you're basically dealing with a primate of the lower order who's prone to tantrums.

The only things he's got in common with Stephen Hawkins is owning a wheelchair and a perpetually flaccid cock.

4 hours ago, judgetwi said:

Really? Read it again Shitforbrains. It says “70p a sock”. 5 pairs = 10 socks. 70p x 10 = £7.

Fuck me Marje, you can’t read, you can’t do basic arithmetic……..no wonder you got banged up in chokey you soppy cunt.

You ain’t got much going for you have you mate? 😁😁😁😁

Are you seriously trying to convince me that socks are now being sold individually?

Fuck me, i've seen some and heard bullshitters in my time but this takes the biscuit.

I'm tempted to ask Gyp's if she can contact Roy Castle as i reckon we've got a record breaker!

You seem to have fucked yourself over again, you binocular polishing, shekel shirking, fucking idiot.

😆

13 hours ago, judgetwi said:

Amazing!

Do carry on.

A bit like your mathematics then, Jewdy. Five pairs for seven quid ain't seventy pence a pair, is it?

I'll give you a break and presume that Dianne Abbott's moonlighting as your carer...

You stupendously dense cunt!

1 hour ago, Frank said:

If it's any consolation, I think you're on par with the majority of regulars remaining on here... Goober, Raasters, Ape and Wolfie. All highly sensitive and humourless dopes. 

Coming from you, Frank, that means a lot. I'll dig out some obscure jazz when i get the opportunity, but in the mean time get fucked...

You know ''i'm the best on here''.

2 hours ago, Frank said:

Give it a chance, Major. I just stuck me head in as a favour for EC and I'm more or less headlining this pile of shit. 22 posts over the past 4 days and I'm virtually topping the leaderboard. 18 of those posts were Alpaca based.  

Most of the quality players are either banged up or awol, but there's still a few old timers keeping the ship afloat.

My appearance and comments will no doubt rile the Judge. That cunt should have a fucking key in his back. He's definitely on the spectrum, Franco!

Some vintage Kleftiko would liven this place up.

37 minutes ago, King Billy said:

Shut your Fixadent filled mouth you vile old pretend hag, or I’ll come round and flush your hormone blockers down the bog. Your beard, hairy back and hands will return within a week and the local teenagers can have a field day throwing shit at you every time you venture out. 🏳️‍🌈Fuck off🏳️‍🌈

Lord P is on more roids than Arnie during his Conan The Barbarian day's. Testosterone 250, Stanazol, Sustanon, and Tren can all be found in his medicine cabinet. Fortunately he's no stranger to a prick in the arse!

On 21/06/2022 at 21:41, King Billy said:

Feel free to jump immediately.

With any luck he'll land on the Judges scooter and bounce back up to the ledge, proving that even in suicide he's a complete fuck up!

@Frank, stop bullshitting, and start entertaining again.

You complete and utter cunt!

2 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Did you know that Ratty only signed up to the corner because he thought 'CC' stood for 'concentration camp'.

Nope. I always presumed his bizarre post's were the result of dyslexia, and CC looked like SS to him. I bet it was the fastest he'd typed since April 1945.

12 minutes ago, Wolfie said:

Apart from Miss South Carolina, who appears to have a moral compass for Africa despite not actually knowing where it is on the map.

 

She doesn't need to, Wolfster. The only thing located down south she needs to worry about in her post pageant career is the pink oboe's placement, and i'm certain that the skilful handling of it that will guarantee her a Texan oil baron husband thirty years her senior. 

I reckon it will end in an OJ and Nicole finale. I hope for his sake he's black and Johnny Cochran is still breathing. 

54 minutes ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

So…a trite, shite Kike on a trike?

I think you're on to something here...

59 minutes ago, Last Cunt Standing said:

I don’t give a shiny shite for your archetypal pub bore in a cardigan routine, arguing about which route you’d take to get from one shitheap to another and wittering on about bypasses and how best to beat the rush on the North Circular. Fact is, you can’t go “up” a ring road, by definition. A point you have deliberately ignored. You’ve clearly spent too long inhaling the vinegar on East End whelk stalls to have retained basic concepts like what “up” is. It’s why you London wankers all talk of going “up West”, regardless of where you might be at the time. 

I passed through London on my recent holiday, and spent a little time in the Great Scotland Yard Hotel, just off Whitehall. They’ve got an Old Bill themed display in the lobby, but try as I might I couldn’t see any sign of a grossly overweight diabetic on an electric scooter in any of the Hendon mugshots, so can only guess that your bodily tragedies came late in your career. How’d you reckon you’d go on the Bleep test these days, you fat fuck? I won’t keep you any longer, I hear it’s hot in the UK today and no doubt you’ve got volunteer lifeguard duties at your nearest Lido to get to. 

His ignorance and placing on the spectrum always guarantee a few quality Sunday morning post's.

The man's the Corners Les Dennis both pre and post Holden.

A tragedy wrapped up in a scooter!

On 19/06/2022 at 21:14, judgetwi said:

What’s happened to your boyfriend Marjorie? Has he been banned the pathetic little weed? Who has he called a kiddy fiddler this time the out of his depth tosser? I did tell him that Mossad would get to him eventually but he wouldn’t listen.

It’s a shame because the pair of you were forming your very own Einsatzgruppen. Of course we all know  who was the Obersturmbannfuhrer and who was his faithful, compliant  leutnant. What’s it like Marje?…….to have no bollocks, nothing to say for yourself…….even on a fucking website!

What a fucking dicksplash you are. 
😁😁😀😀

You're playing a dangerous game here that could result in a splash of old news, and i may even forward your address on to the PLO. I'm sure there would be no shortage of martyrs willing to kill a retired Mossad agent as that's the line i'll spin them.

If you're speaking of Decimus then i suggest that you pm the man and ask, but i've just remembered that you grassed him up for allegations of abuse via that facility.

I don't need to say anything as you seem to be name dropping me like a z list celeb on that pile of shit show Philly 'the shirt-lifter' Schofield presents in the morning - one of your own there, fatboy...

You seem to be rattling like Pen's false teeth in an earthquake/back-scuttling. 

On 20/06/2022 at 23:02, judgetwi said:

I wouldn’t go in for gambling if I were you Marjorie. You have to be smart and know what you are doing to get anywhere in that game.

I don’t know much about gambling but I know that some cunt who gets himself banged up in the nick ain’t exactly Brainbox of Britain.

Understand what I’m saying Marje?

The bookie always wins, Jewdith, and that's all you need to know about gambling, me wheelchair bound old son. Unless you're an influential four by two who's mates with a top echelon bankster brother. Given your propensity for buying turd burgling y-fronts on the cheap, and spending the other eighty five percent of your income on white spirit, WD40, and binocular polish doesn't exactly pit you as a high roller!

Also, given your reputation for consistently posting nonsensical accusations of favouritism and persecution along with sprinkling of inaccurate Red Sea pedestrian history. I can safely call your above retort a paradox. 

I would suggest you wheel yourself over to the mirror and see if you can wrap your gammon around the logic. If you do it before breakfast then you might even get a glimpse of your micro cock, an organ that last attained a semi during the Abbey National's heyday. 

You really are a gift!

😆

19 hours ago, judgetwi said:

I watched about 20 minutes of this televisual feast a couple of years ago. It consisted of some vacuous young birds flashing their tits about (which admittedly I would like to put my winkle between) and talking endlessly about feeeeeee-lings. Of course it was  all about THEIR feeeee-lings, other cunt’s feeeee-lings don’t count. Fuck them, it’s all about ME. As others have said they make a lot of dosh from being “influencers” on soshul meeja. I’m not really sure how that works but it sounds very fleeting to me, there are always younger birds with better tits coming behind you. 
Twenty minutes was enough for me……all very depressing. I’d rather not know about shit like this.

I bet you knocked one out during the pool scene, Jewdith! 

😆