Major Cunt

20 hours ago, Wolfie said:

Ireland's history is absolutely littered with child abuse accusations and sentences among its Catholic clergy – from parish priest to bishop. While the world's clergy industry per se seems to have a much higher incidence of sex offences against children, Ireland does appear to carry the burden of an unprecedented amount of cases.

What have you got to say about this unwelcome reputation, @PANZER MURPHY?

I remember seeing on a documentary about historic abuse that centered around a boy's home on the emerald Isle. Regular visitor's included Lord Mountbatten, Cyril Smith, Jimmy Savile ect. This was all conveniently covered up by the state and church via hush money. They didn't have to pay out a great deal due to the poor unfortunates mostly being dead due to suicide, alcoholism and drug overdoses.

Catholicism is a nest of nonces, but given the access to alter boys, prohibition of marriage (an obvious cover), and the age of consent being fourteen in the Vatican City it's hardly surprising. There's something inherently wrong with the denomination and I'd love to find out what world secrets are hidden in the Vatican. 

15 minutes ago, Witheredscrote said:

You try and touch me, and you will get beaten to death,  you spindle prick cunt.

Beat me to it, Withers. His picture appearing behind the wine bars of EC1 is confirmation of just how many people he's touched, along with being on his barristers Christmas card list. I can't believe that he would make such a statement on these once great pages. Asking for trouble just doesn't cut it... 

For some reason I've just had a mental picture of Frank's neighbour banging his fist against the adjacent wall and shouting various obscenities, as the dago ponce attempts to play Franz Ferdinand's 'Take Me Out' on Guitar Hero at one in the morning. Completely murdering the tune, dressed like one of The Strokes, and dancing like Ian Dury after a gram of mdma. 

The cunt has become so obsolete that he only lives on through his videos. 

On 30/03/2022 at 20:08, camberwell gypsy said:

It's boat race looks like one of them clay composite ones, they make on a skull of a neanderthal tart that some farmer has dug up in some Leicestershire Wheatfield.  Fucking ugly, missing link cunt that should be burned at the stake. 

Now that cracked me up. I could actually picture her holding a spear and dressed in ten thousand bc garb in a museum somewhere. You may have done what no Job Centre could, seeing as the oxygen thieving slag is accustomed to doing fuck all and is probably qualified to do even less. 

1 minute ago, Dyslexic cnut said:

A mouthy nonentity grunts.

Where the fuck have you been lately, DC? Was it a Scandinavian cruise or an inpatient alcohol detoxification? There's no shame in dealing with substance abuse issues here as I've been suggesting the Judge attends AA meetings for the last couple of years. You can probably tell from his incessant late night cider fuelled rants that it hasn't worked. 

6 hours ago, Decimus said:

A few things you need to know about Bend, DC, other than that he's a grown man who travels to meet anonymous internet strangers in a park, like some sort of mentally challenged George Michael.

He has previously stated with no hint of irony that he saw the curvature of the Earth through the window of a gay bar in Nova Scotia. He also fantasises about raping nuns and one day owning his own non-plastic hammer. If that wasn't enough to turn your stomach, he's also black.

I was aware of the collection of hammers Fender possess along with the much hyped 'Rumble in Danson' that never happened. Myself and Eric were keen to co-promote this event and had lined up an under card involving Panz vs Bill for the Irish reunification belt among others. 

Depending on both attending tomorrow this could well become a regular fixture for resolving Corner feuds for those who wish to partake. 

I was unaware of the Nova Scotia incident though and Fend's being an iron has dramatically pushed the odds in Eddie's favour. I presumed that he saw the curvature of the earth whilst high on paint thinner from a ladder somewhere in South London. The nun revelation has also shocked me and was wondering if you could inform me with the details. 

I drove passed Eddie out jogging this morning in a velour tracksuit and made sure to shout out wanker. He obviously didn't hear me due to borrowing Frank's Walkman and Rocky tape. It's a shame that the spindle legged wanker is notorious for no shows as I'd thoroughly enjoy beating him to a bloody pulp with one arm. 

On 01/04/2022 at 12:28, PANZER MURPHY said:

Never does any harm to keep eye on what the neighbours are up to

Indeed. You should ask the Judge for his email address, but I'd make sure that you're using a vpn. I'm sure it's a technology that will reach the bog within the next five years. 

Still using a dial up modem, Panz? 

13 minutes ago, King Billy said:

The fakestream media have unanimously decided that Putins troops are guilty of unprecedented ‘war crimes’ in Bucha, some previously unknown shithole in Ukraine (the purest and most beautiful country on Earth, with the kindest, gentlest and most innocent population ever known). President ‘mush for brains’ Joe Biden, the totally legitimate, most popular President ever, and 100% definitely not a kid fucker with a crack head deviant son has called for Putin to be put on trial for these abominable ‘war crimes’ (which so far have been just reported minus any video or other evidence).

Surely some pink haired, cross dressing, tik tokker on the White House payroll will at least attempt to explain to this stumbling, mumbling cadaver that war crimes are tried at the International Criminal Court at The Hague. The US has always refused to sign up to this court, for pretty obvious reasons.

I reckon Putin would immediately hand himself over to The Hague at the prospect of twenty years as Top Dog on the wing alongside Obama, Clinton, Biden, Blair and Alastair Campbell etc. etc. etc.

March 30th… Mayor of Bucha announces that Russia has withdrawn totally from Bucha and no mention of war crimes.

March 31st to April 3rd…… still no mention of war crimes.

Overnight April 3rd/4th….. recently arrived Ukraine army Neo Nazi  AZOS battalion discover previously undiscovered atrocities. 🤔

Fake news bullshit at its best, and the dummies are lapping it up.

 

That red head who does the White House briefings is the only thing that keeps me watching the propaganda. 

Jen Psaki I think she's called? Definitely looks like the sort who knows what to do with a pork sword, and certainly gets the Major's carnal imagination racing. 

37 minutes ago, Decimus said:

Squatting you say, P? I'd say Ireland did a good job of squatting down on its cowardly haunches during world war 2. Like a weasel little brother, it squatted behind big brother Britain for the duration, benefiting from a bulwark that kept it safe from a rapacious Germany. Unlike a grateful little brother though, it sucked the cock of the bully who would have subsumed it entirely without the help of its bigger, tougher sibling. That's fucking Irish gratitude for you.

Cowards and backstabbers, you're worse than the French.

The thick cunt's allowed u-boats to dock in some of it's ports and were under the impression that Ireland would become on a par with Austria. 

Once the SS scrutinised the population for Anglo Saxon blood and then quickly realised that the population was as useful as slavs they'd be shipped to Poland camps sharpish.

The Riech desperately wanted Britain to join the axis, but I can't ever remember Ireland being included in the deal. 

Panz is like a scorned ex-girlfriend who just can't handle our rejection, and despite getting his arse handed to him on numerous occasions he's still trotting out the same old shite. 

At least the Judge can make us all laugh unlike the repetitive, backwards bog trotter. 

On 30/03/2022 at 09:42, Frank said:

 

 

No doubt sang at the Admiral Duncan's karaoke night with the word "seriously" added on as the track fades out. 

Your taste in music is nearly as poor as your taste in attire, and that's an incredibly low bar. 

13 hours ago, Decimus said:

Shut your cunt fucking mouth, you Anthony Bourdain wannabe, cunt.

I was tempted to reply to our resident middle aged Rylan Clarke but he's dropped down to the Pen league so couldn't be arsed . I briefly scan their post's and then think to myself what an utter fucking bell-end (one the size of a satsuma in Lady P's case)... 

Creative cunting regarding the Anthony Bourdain comment. 

On 28/03/2022 at 21:58, Wolfie said:

 

I don't believe this is the case. Both are successful black comic actors at similar stages of their careers who it would appear may have a bit of previous, which makes me think Woke wasn't a factor and that it was a direct dig from Rock at Smith, despite his piss-taking reputation.

Smith's initial overreation was clearly from sheer anger borne from his wife's expression. I'm not sure even he could act quite that angrily, especially when he shouted from his seat. Nice slap too, perhaps learned from his Ali training days, aware punching someone's face or head with bare knuckles generally ends with a nasty hand injury.

My thoughts exactly. Smith played an excellent Ali in the film and clearly took the boxing seriously for the role. I think that he fought not to knock Rock spark out due to knowing the consequences and the probable damage a right hander could do. If Rock had taken his time with Jackie Chan as seriously then we could have had a ceremony worth watching. 

Briefly I reached the potential conclusion that it could have been a ruse given that both are able to throw a realistic punch/slap, and are equally able to roll with a one, but quickly dismissed it out of hand. 

I'm all for defending one's wife's honour, but if you get your kicks (or as erect as Chris's surname) watching blokes pound your spouse whilst observing cock in hand then it kind of negates it. 

Fucking Hollywierd! 

On 28/03/2022 at 21:27, Eric Cuntman said:

🎵 Money's too tight to mention, ooh.

I'm talking bout money-money, I'm talking bout money-money.. ooh...🎵

You fucking fraud.

That song happens to be jewdy's ringtone, and he always gets a mate to call when the collection plate is :about to be passed round the synagogue. I was intending to drop you a like for that, but it seems that I've already spunked my daily allowance... 

5 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

You're the best one on here. 

Vote Sheep 🐑 ❌

If@ProfB was able to contribute to the nom in question with an informed and entertaining opinion (although informed has an incredibly wide margin here) or get into a gloves off feud potentially resulting in a ban then I think her stock would be on the rise. Whether this is possible is certainly not a wager I'd take, but then again Leicester won the league in their first season after promotion... 

1 hour ago, Roadkill said:

 

 

You cunts are so fucked if he ever puts the uniform back on.

Absolutely pmsl. I seriously doubt that his uniform fits anymore. The cornerstones of his diet consist of kebabs, large Toblerone's and super strength polish lager (let's hope it's brewed under licence over here or he'll be requiring detoxification).

I think I may have found a new avatar. Excellent work! 

On 25/03/2022 at 22:02, judgetwi said:

Short memory Hardman. You already did it. Was it really three years ago? How time flies eh? 
Still, it doesn’t matter how long ago it was you never forget and you never forgive that sort of shit.

Whenever it was you were weak then and you are weak now. 
 

Well sussed.

I don't think anyone called you a nonce, Epstien. 

There was however an eruption of laughter when you brought up a potentially fictitious scenario regarding a semi naked man sat in a paddling pool with kids. 

The last time I checked it wasn't illegal for a parent to join his children in such fashion.

You must be one hell of a nosey neighbour (whose hooter can be spotted before your scooter turns a corner).

😁

On 25/03/2022 at 21:50, judgetwi said:

or you might inadvertently end up in chokey yourself

Indeed. I know you're not the sharpest tool in the box and were dismissed from the force a long time ago, but did you know that being pissed whilst in charge of a mobility scooter is an offence that carries a sentence of imprisonment? 

Continue leaving the Pink Oboe in the state that you post at and you might just get your wish.

You'll be easy pickings for Ahmed and the boys when they offer to help you shower. I'd keep the religious beliefs to yourself or they might drown you after... 

Know what I mean mate. 

On 23/03/2022 at 00:51, PANZER MURPHY said:

There's actually a smell of ignorance offa this ..lol

PANZERMURPHYBABY 

I've been following this exchange in the hope that you can finally learn something about the average brit, and possibly make a start on removing that bag of McCain's from your shoulder. 

Your like the Corners Eamon De Valera standing on a soapbox with a loudspeaker spouting anti British propaganda to anyone who'll listen. The main problem with this tactic is due to an audience who are 99% British. Any cunt with half a brain would quickly reach the conclusion that their stuck in an echo chamber. 

Half or more of the fuckers that fought in the cause have formed a McMafia and are busy flooding the streets of the emerald Isle with Peruvian powder and Afghan smack. I always thought that part of the struggle was about improving the prospects of the next generation, It's almost as ironic as you grabbing the hated UK establishments dough by the fistful. 

The younger generation don't give a flying fuck about a speedy unification but are more interested in making it back from night out without being car-jacked or shot. 

Whatever way the wind blows England will be fine. We've been through far more threatening situations than not being invited to a summit in recent centuries.

Eventually the EU will get pissed off with you coming flat-cap in hand for Euros and you'll be forced in to excepting droves of migrants, ridiculous legislation around farming and fishing ect. 

Get that fucking sax out and change the tune for once... 

10 minutes ago, Cuntybaws said:

"Who cares what black woman think?"

Every single politician in America bar Donald Trump and the neo-nazi movement. There's no doubt others but I'd have to PM Bill our stateside correspondent... 

I could easily make a similar statement regarding this country, but can't be arsed to author a 500 word post. 

4 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Your advice was spot on. In future, I shall be directing any narcotic related queries to the Major. I bet you know a bit about growing as well.

A wise choice, Eric. I'm the Corners Surgeon General when it comes to getting off your face. Let's keep any horticultural advice strictly PM. I know Jewdy got kicked off the force for corruption but he still might have links to the Masons/Old Bill, and he's also a right cunt! 

17 hours ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Fuckin tell me about it! Jesus fucking Christ. It's FDA tested at 21-23 % THC. I'm fucked after a 'Yul Brynner'. I really fucking need a chicken Ceylon and pilau with Aloo Gobi as well.

I told you so, lmao. A mate of mine smoked a reefer of it prior to us meeting up for a chinky and the daft cunt phoned me up with the words "thought you said you was here? ". Turned out that he was at a different establishment. Fucking funny night with me sniffing a half a gram line in order to negate the effects of Mr Johnny Walker. This powder turned out to have a purity equal to the dawgs THC. I came out the bogs looking like a fucking Owl. 

20 hours ago, judgetwi said:

Actually I was there the night Ronnie allegedly shot Cornell in the Blind Beggar. Admittedly I didn’t actually get  in because of the hundreds of people outside but my mate, Eric Hardman, told me that Cornell shot himself accidentally when he was fucking about with some firearm that nobody has ever heard of or fucking cares about anyway.

The twins were innocent!! Straight up!

 

Gertcha!

Obviously you never saw the shooting due to occupying trap two of the gents with a tub of 60's Vaseline in hand.

Did Ronnie stick his head in (literally) after allegedly dispatching George? 

The good old day's before dementia, paralysis and crippling alcoholism kicked in eh, Jewdy... 

Was taking it up the wrong un still illegal then? 

I'd Google it, but why bother when I can ask an old cunt like you. 

6 minutes ago, Eric Cuntman said:

Have you heard of a weed strain called 'Star Dawg'? I've just picked up an Oz and it's vac-packed and commercially branded. Some sort of mega THC strain. Is it that laboratory stuff that you can buy in California etc' if you've got a medical script for it? I've never fucking bought weed in retail packaging before. I think some cunt's legalised it and not told me.

I'm familiar with the strain, Eric, and I'll strongly advise you to take it easy with the grinder or fingers. 

The shits got a THC content that would make Howard Marks forget his way home. 

Sounds like it might have come via the dark web, and when the Major says proceed with caution then heed the warning. 

2 hours ago, Decimus said:

Fucking hell, if you can't get laid at university you may as well give up on sex for the rest of your life. I don't know about you, LCS, but by the end of my time there my dick was almost hanging off.

I don't think I'm sold on LCS's article, and am convinced he read it right to left in preparation for the PLA invading Oz. 

Throw together a mixed bunch of 18 to 25 year olds, alcohol, mdma, etc, and even the McLovin-esque types are guaranteed to spray the odd cervix with jizz. 

It reminds me of a beautiful time in my life combined with some of the most atrocious comedowns I've ever experienced (and that's saying something). 

On 13/03/2022 at 23:36, judgetwi said:

Most dimmos would say “read a book for once” , thus establishing their faux intellectual superiority, but only you could come up with “watch a documentary”. 😁

Indeed, but considering I've got at least a 60 plus iq on you then there's not much point. 

I was considering "read a fucking book for once", but reconsidered after remembering how alcohol riddled your grey matter is. 

Black clock was a typo due to a technology called predictive text. I know you're out of touch on these matters due to being a shut-in and accessing the Corner via a 486 PC. 

I do hope your scooter soon gets sideswiped by a bin lorry or similar.