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DREAMS ARE CUNTS


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Fucking stupid things, as are also the cunts who profess to know their meanings. All dreams suck. The good ones leave you feeling disappointed when you awake, and the bad ones can shit the life out of you whilst you sleep. Dreams are a no win situation. Wet ones or dry ones, all dreams are cunts. I once dreamt that I was awake, woke up, to find myself asleep again, and then disappeared like a fartslice through hemp pyjamas

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  • 10 months later...
Guest nobgobbler

Ever dreamt your true identity was revealed? (Wad and Jazz are exempt from answering). Last night I dreamt I was waiting to go on stage. I could hear them doing the one-twos while I was sat having a quiet drink with Ashley the vicar off Emmerdale when the bloke from the car dealership came over and slapped a load of papers in front of me saying the name on my number plate retention certificate was wrong (in my pre-married name), and he couldn't complete the paperwork until it was updated. So I signed the form and attached my marriage certificate. I asked him why the fuck didn't he tell me about this a week ago. Being proper pissed off and thinking neither of them would know what I meant, I told him he'd be on the Corner in the morning. Ashley looked at me with recognition on his face. "You're Gobbler" he said, "I'm Spotter, pleased to meet you". I thought, I see you put that theology degree to good use. Then I woke up. By the way spot, you do have big ears.

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Guest nobgobbler

Nobbers,monday morning go to the doctor and change your medication.

Thanks for that Snatch but I think it's lack of alcohol. Never mind, I'll open another bottle.

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Guest Wizardsleeve

Thanks for that Snatch but I think it's lack of alcohol. Never mind, I'll open another bottle.

Perhaps a bit of both, in moderation, of course!  ;)

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  • 2 months later...
Guest Wizardsleeve

I hate it when I'm having a really good dream, shagging Gemma Atkinson in a stilted cabana in some paradise in the warm tropical islands, and the Mrs. passes a horrid wind and brings me back to reality with tears in my eyes, and the hair in my nose fucking singed!  

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  • 2 months later...
Guest Quincy Cockfingers
On 11 July 2015 at 08:41:15, nobgobbler said:

Ever dreamt your true identity was revealed? (Wad and Jazz are exempt from answering). Last night I dreamt I was waiting to go on stage. I could hear them doing the one-twos while I was sat having a quiet drink with Ashley the vicar off Emmerdale when the bloke from the car dealership came over and slapped a load of papers in front of me saying the name on my number plate retention certificate was wrong (in my pre-married name), and he couldn't complete the paperwork until it was updated. So I signed the form and attached my marriage certificate. I asked him why the fuck didn't he tell me about this a week ago. Being proper pissed off and thinking neither of them would know what I meant, I told him he'd be on the Corner in the morning. Ashley looked at me with recognition on his face. "You're Gobbler" he said, "I'm Spotter, pleased to meet you". I thought, I see you put that theology degree to good use. Then I woke up. By the way spot, you do have big ears.

Exactly as the man said- dreams are a load of fucking shite.

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Guest Quincy Cockfingers
On 15 September 2015 at 02:50:46, Wizardsleeve said:

I hate it when I'm having a really good dream, shagging Gemma Atkinson in a stilted cabana in some paradise in the warm tropical islands, and the Mrs. passes a horrid wind and brings me back to reality with tears in my eyes, and the hair in my nose fucking singed!  

I think he means Terry Nutkins

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