Instant boiling water taps.

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

Just saw a Quooker advert on the TV. Seem like a solution looking for a problem. I'm totally happy waiting for water to boil. Seems like a waste of energy and a dodgy thing to have around if you have kids in the house. 

[Guest TheCritic]

2 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

Just saw a Quooker advert on the TV. Seem like a solution looking for a problem. I'm totally happy waiting for water to boil. Seems like a waste of energy and a dodgy thing to have around if you have kids in the house. 

Like the sub-genre of music labelled Norwegian PornGrind Metal, TaTa's noms have always been niche, and lacking in any mass appeal whatsoever.

Admirable in his uncompromising refusal to go mainstream, he's always stuck to his original sound; typified by long droning complaints and unanswered prose (quite different to the 'call and response' of more popular artists).

Not expected to pull up any trees this year, young Daniel to have another typically unspectacular year on the sidelines, exploring the issues nobody else is anal nor OCD enough to dissect. 

[Guest Wizardsleeve]

Another glaring possibility is that the spacky adults are even thicker than the kids, use the thing, burn fuck out of themselves and expect to be rewarded damages in court.  

[Guest DingTheRioja]

13 hours ago, Wizardsleeve said:

Another glaring possibility is that the spacky adults are even thicker than the kids, use the thing, burn fuck out of themselves and expect to be rewarded damages in court.  

Is that the adults suing the manufcturer, or the kids suing the adults?

If it's kids suiing the adults then I'm all for it, teach the cunts for sprouting more polluters and infecting the world with their genes.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

Tap-Tap Dan...

Threads like this make my blood boil.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

16 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

Just saw a Quooker advert on the TV. Seem like a solution looking for a problem. I'm totally happy waiting for water to boil. Seems like a waste of energy and a dodgy thing to have around if you have kids in the house. 

Are you totally happy waiting for public transport or a lottery win? I was totally happy 'til I read your bollocks

These taps you refer to are a blessing and you of all people should have several installed. 

[Ape™️]

16 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

Just saw a Quooker advert on the TV. Seem like a solution looking for a problem. I'm totally happy waiting for water to boil. Seems like a waste of energy and a dodgy thing to have around if you have kids in the house. 

Well thanks for yet another insightful and interesting nom, Dan. You'll be pleased to know that although nowhere near as verbose as your usual offerings, it was equally as shite.

[Guest Manky]

I suppose they come in useful for melting the chocolate off your deep fried Mars bars, you thick Glaswegian twat.

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

5 minutes ago, Manky said:

I suppose they come in useful for melting the chocolate off your deep fried Mars bars, you thick Glaswegian twat.

Or washing fingerprints off the trigger of a gun, you Mancunian criminal  prick.

[Wolfie]

While on the subject of wasted energy, have you considered the better response you may get by nominating something worthy of discussion?

[Guest I know that Cunt]

17 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

Seems like a waste of energy and a dodgy thing to have around if you have kids in the house. 

Well that sounds a lot like Apeshit to me - the waste of energy bit obviously.....

 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

Dunno if this counts, but I went tap-dancing and fell in the sink.

[Guest I know that Cunt]

2 minutes ago, 'eavensabove said:

Dunno if this counts, but I went tap-dancing and fell in the sink.

No you went lap-dancing and fell in the stink

[Guest 'eavensabove]

17 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

Just saw a Quooker advert on the TV. Seem like a solution looking for a problem. I'm totally happy waiting for water to boil. Seems like a waste of energy and a dodgy thing to have around if you have kids in the house. 

Of course, a cold water tap which provides colder water would also be a total of waste of your time, as would a tap without any water at all, or water without a tap, and so I guess Tat's you're well and truly fucked.

[Guest 'eavensabove]

Just now, I know that Cunt said:

No you went lap-dancing and fell in the stink

No. I went Pole dancing, and shagged her rotten.

[Guest deebom]

We have these things at work.

https://www.zipwater.com/

They are utterly shit. I fix these fucking things on a weekly basis. Even brand new ones break down regularly. They are cunts.

[Guest Tata Steely Dan]

35 minutes ago, deebom said:

We have these things at work.

https://www.zipwater.com/

They are utterly shit. I fix these fucking things on a weekly basis. Even brand new ones break down regularly. They are cunts.

So you are a Zip technician? Which one are you?

 

As I'm a Janitor, I'm lucky enough to have a hot water urn in my 'Janny's cupboard', in amongst the brooms, mops and big buckets of sawdust. 

[Guest 'eavensabove]

3 minutes ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

So you are a Zip technician? Which one are you?

 

As I'm a Janitor, I'm lucky enough to have a hot water urn in my 'Janny's cupboard', in amongst the brooms, mops and big buckets of sawdust. 

The one with the fly's perhaps.

[Guest DingTheRioja]

21 hours ago, Wolfie said:

While on the subject of wasted energy, have you considered the better response you may get by nominating something worthy of discussion?

You are fucking joking!

 

 

You are, aren't you?

 

17 hours ago, deebom said:

We have these things at work.

https://www.zipwater.com/

They are utterly shit. I fix these fucking things on a weekly basis. Even brand new ones break down regularly. They are cunts.

Hydro Tap.... What? Most taps are for "hydro" you fucking morons.

"It’s no wonder research suggests that 80% of residential Zip HydroTap owners drink more water than before.* "

Yes. because they can no longer afford to drink anything but water you twats.

 

 

Right, here's my multi-million pound money making idea.... wait for it... it's a good 'un!!

Spoiler

See-Thru Window™

Just like a normal window, but you can see through it, and it cost you 25 times as much!

It’s no wonder research suggests that 80% of residential See-Thru Window owners see more through their windows than before*.

(* unfortunately they can no longer afford to go out so have to sit staring out at everyone else enjoying themselves... but it's a lovely view...)

 

 

[Guest deebom]

23 hours ago, Tata Steely Dan said:

So you are a Zip technician? Which one are you?

 

As I'm a Janitor, I'm lucky enough to have a hot water urn in my 'Janny's cupboard', in amongst the brooms, mops and big buckets of sawdust. 

Nope, the company stopped the servicing on them years ago, so I'm just the cunt who fixes them when they break down.

To be fair, they are simple machines, and the main problem is them scaling up and then leaking.

Zip in their wisdom decided to place the filters in such a way, that the water is only filtered as it leaves the machine, rather than as it enters... Twats.

[Guest Lady Penelope]

10 minutes ago, deebom said:

Nope, the company stopped the servicing on them years ago, so I'm just the cunt who fixes them when they break down.

To be fair, they are simple machines, and the main problem is them scaling up and then leaking.

Zip in their wisdom decided to place the filters in such a way, that the water is only filtered as it leaves the machine, rather than as it enters... Twats.

Frank scaled up and started leaking