Hammer of Cunts

The only people who join the police these days are twats who like uniforms but are too stupid or unfit for the armed forces.

Whether mathematics is discovered or invented is irrelevant. The first humans came from Central Africa and their decsendants discovered/invented everything. Do you despise North Africans with a different form of bigotry or is your ignorance universal?

These are often the same cunts who say: eksetera and nukular.

We could start with writing, mathematics, universities and err... humanity itself.

And their very black socks.

I went to school with a Nigerian prince, nice bloke but thick as two short planks. He was about twenty-five and stil trying to pass an A-level. The father of one of my friends promoted Amin from the ranks, in Kenya.

No-one knows they're there; they go in through the back door.

Smoke on the water...

Have you tried The Listening Project on Radio 4? That's much more annoying. It's a load of nonentities whining about shit that no-one cares about.

I imagine that Manuel would be glad to cater for the "special interests" of an old and valued customer'.

You seem very familiar with the goods and services available at this establishment. Is it a regular haunt?

The BBC likes to be seen to be making the effort to be politically balanced, there are ways in which it can be called to account if not. Unortunately the acountabiity doesn't extend to the social attitudes of its staff which are overwhelmingly blinkered, left-of-centre, urban. Their output takes as a given that the audience shares their outlook and does not question their basic tenets. Contentious issues such as "gender identity", brexit and, of course, anything to do with homosexuals are thus presented as though the debates are over, despite, in many cases having never been allowed to begin. Like many clever people, the BBC institutionaly makes the mistake of assuming that others are stupid; the bones of the social engineering beneath the surface are showing. and increasing numbers of perfectly reasonable customers are turning it off.

I don't make knives. Creepy yanks collect them.

I think he likes flicking the top while he polishes the casing.

I've got a mate caled Keith, he lives in Kuala Lumpur. He isn't a cunt though. Some of the bollocks that people spout about blacksmithing is fucking cringeworthy. There is no metaphysical aspect to hitting lumps of hot metal. Sometimes I let customers have a go so that they can feel that they were involved in the creation, scares them shitless. The women are usually keener though; I expect they have something to prove.

It's not the OCDness that I object to; anyone could have a few lighters in a tin or some skeletons (other body parts available) in a closet/trunk/shed. What I hate is the attempt to create a false proletarian history, the pretence that the cunt has done something other than sit in an office every day. In his Elegy, Thomas Gray admonishes us not to mock the useful toil of our "rude forefathers" and that was written in 1750 so this crap is not a new thing.

The steel ones are harder to give a decent shine. I lost my father's at the Reading Festival in 1975; I hate Yes. Has it got its original wick?

Only if you regularly stroke them and use them as a way to strike up conversations in inappropriate places. On the other hand, you could hide the lighters in the tin and nobody need know.

I used to take me pack of five Woodbines round to Lyon's Corner House and chain smoke them while ogling the nippie's arses.

No but, as a well-used old tool, I am highly collectible.

Good morning. By this nomination, I don't mean to include serious experts or weirdos. Tarquin, with his exquisite collection and knowledge of C18 pornographic miniatures and Brian with his mum's spare room full of Star Trek tat can sleep safelly. My targets are those cunts that buy up old industrial/motoring/workshop tat: oil cans, enamel signs, farm implements etc. These bourgeois bellends decorate their walls with "memorabilia"; tools that they don't know how to use and artifacts that they coudn't make. Reminders of a past that they didn't have , displayed in a patronising faux naif style Women do the same thing with old mangles, washstands and chalk paint This sanitised nostalgia for other people's shoud be shit on at every opportunity.

Old Discos are great until they fall apart, then it's Mitsubishi/Toyota/Nissan (except for Shoguns, they're for dids). I used to trade-plate 4*4s around the country... 50/50 whether any of LR's products would make it home without some catastrophic failure.

Farmers don't use Land/Range-Rovers any more, they're for downsizied urban wankers and silly fucking women with horse trailers; they have racks for yoga mats and school bags fitted as standard (no tow-bar though). Bicycles cause far more hold ups than farming, get a bike, overtake the queue and you'll find a whole peloton of pricks with their arses in the air and hatred in their eyes. They have every right to get in the way and they want you to know it.

They are producing food for peope who feel entitled to eat.