KingRollo

That is disturbing.

Sadly, my cat Hamlet is a jealous sort. Bagpuss wouldn't stand a chance, being a saggy old cloth cat. And Cook would be hurt if I started eating the chocolate biscuits from his mice friends. And I think that Professor Yaffle and Wizard wouldn't get on at all... competing egos and all that.

Maybe he provides poppers as part of the service...

https://youtu.be/tMg57pfnn_w?t=3 A mere description wouldn't do it justice!

Yes, once they've stopped and searched her...

Do you think Punky's opened up a sideline on ebay selling knockoff household cleaners? His bootleg DVD stall must really be struggling if he's resorted to this...

Hmmm, good points. Mind you, watching him dance on Wizard's gear with a raging stiffy under his frock would be quite funny. He can use Cook's lavatory - she's pretty much caught everything going, so I don't see the harm. We'll get one of the servants to frisk him on the way in - he won't believe his luck!

Fabulous idea GG! And Queen Gwen can give him a makeover! He can put on a pretty dress, perfect for a queen, hair, nails, the lot! Then we can give him the "dancing drugs", take him to the royal ballrooms, turn on the disco lights and watch him go! Louis Spence eat your heart out!

Do you think you have overused the word "glass" in that sentence, Pen?

What made you think of 50 year old blancmange Punky? You been messing around with Pen again?

Sorry, did I insult your husband?

If she is then so is the rest of the Corner...

I had a chat with Cook about this but as soon as your name came up, she said that the only immediate purpose for bleach would be to clean up your nether regions just to kill the niff. Oh, and Wizard said he'd like his spare gown back - apparently he lent it to you in good faith that you were learning the craft; now he knows you're pretending it's a dress and using it for cross dressing, he's disinclined to share. Personally, I think he's being a bit intolerant and rather old-fashioned in his views on gender...

Don't presume to speak to me, you olfactorily offensive oaf.

What do you think he sells? And what's with the dog?

Not everyone can pull it off, Ape!

Master York has it coming. He should stick to eating pizza in Wokingham and, perhaps, wearing Lynx in an attempt to smell like a middle aged virgin. No cigars, medals, BBC contracts or hospital privileges for him. The onsie is a good idea though, as long as Kermit's hood is sufficiently capacious to cover his ugly mug. With humblest admiration, HM KR

Maybe, but I mustn't keep upsetting people. It isn't my way, and Stubbs was really quite emotional last night.

My apologies, I am mortified at this faux pas and will attempt to adhere to CCME etiquette in future. Here is some music - enjoy!

Me too!

I'll be your friend KB!

That's no problem Stubbs, thanks for letting me know. Just as a point of protocol, when you shit in the moat, take care when bearing your arse. Punkers has been "playing golf" nearby and I would hate to see you taken up the wrong'un sans permite. Cook and Wizard are used to this sort of thing... they've been strangled, drowned, crucified and buggered to death on many occasions - it's become a bit of a competition between them so it's good that you intend to treat them both to your attentions. As much as I would enjoy your company, I must decline, however. Queen Gwen is ovulating tonight and duty calls - currently we have no heir and no spare!

Oh I remember - the holy custard stain and some old shite about hot dog stands and hats with arrows...