scotty

I'm feeling more of an attack of the rick b's, to be honest deccs. Next stop, Deletion City. Please mind the gap.

What is it that starts at calais?

Oh, I don't know. They did a pretty good job on di and dodi.

What was that then?

My girlfriend always asks me to text her when I get in. That's how small my cock is. badabing!!!

My god, these women are shallow.

If only, mate. If only.

The headphones would be cheaper.

Noise-cancelling headphones, decs. Job done.

....or get my cock out.

I'm a dead ringer for him, in a darkened room. As long as I don't sing. Or speak.

A perfect summary of the french psyche, wc. I'm sure our resident francophile witheredscrote will confirm.

Gobbler, the last frenchie I heard singing was johnny halliday. And he was a cunt.

Has something happened in Paris then? I haven't noticed anything on the news.

Post something funny then, or even just display a sense of humour. Then all will be forgiven and you will be welcomed into the fold.

The thing is dapps, if I'd thought he was kidding I'd let it go, probably even be mildly amused. But for fucksake, I'm pretty sure he was serious. I've seen wad post less cretinous bollocks, and that's near impossible. He's raised the bar to olympian heights.

For fucks sake. Somebody tell him, I can't be fucking bothered.

If you can stand the torture, read the bible. It's much the same as the koran, "unbelievers shall be slain" etc. We used it as a convenient excuse during the crusades. And we're still using it now. That pair of prize cunts bush and bl**r both professed to be instructed by god when they illegally invaded iraq on the basis of an utter, outright lie for purposes that had no connection with our security. We're doing the same now with syria, and our people seem amazed that their people are fleeing from the fucking place.

Baws is quite right to highlight this issue, it's boiled my piss for some time now. If some cunt has been found guilty of a crime, let the fucking judge decide on the sentence, it doesn't matter what the rest of us feel, family or not. If you are convicted of a crime you should be punished by whatever the law specifies, not by whatever the victim reckons is about right (which would usually amount to "this cunt ran over my cat, he should have his bollocks chopped off and pay me £50k in reparations.") That's the whole point of a legal system, it's supposed to make a balanced decision based on the nature of the crime, not the effect of it.

Exactly the point I made earlier, gypps. There's no excuse for that sort of behaviour, there wasn't then and there isn't now.

That was only the once, and Michael Winner always got that "special sauce." I'll admit that Blumenthal wasn't too happy though.

I'm a peaceful man colonel, and I'd like to think I'm also a reasonable one. But to me, that would warrant a stabbing.

What the fuck is this trend for coffee places? They're everywhere. What's the point of them, you can't even get a fucking beer in there, let alone a proper drink, and they are clogging up high street premises which could more usefully be employed as pubs. The world has gone mad.

My sister was at school with a Richard Head. With predictable results. I always felt sorry for the poor cunt, what the fuck his parents were thinking I have no idea.