scotty

I vaguely recall nominating tom kerridge on the old site, and wad going off on one as a result. That was when he was a fat bastard. What made me laugh is him denying any surgical intervention in the loss of half his bodyweight in six months. Oh no no no, he's just cut back a bit on the beer, yeah right mate, that would do it....

Alright, southern? I wouldn't bother too much about wad, sounds to me like spotter and the modmins are sharpening the machetes as we speak.

I definitely need to choose my friends more carefully. This is the sort of cunt I should be mingling with.

The sooner the better. Do fuck off, there's a good girl.

....as far as you know.

I keep seeing this on menus, what in the name of sodomy is it? Did they wank the pig off before killing it, or what??

That sounds convincing luke, but wasn't his wife already minted before she met him? And no matter what she thinks of his tongue, he's got a fucking great metal stud pierced into the middle of it. Maybe the birds find that attractive, but I'm struggling to see how.

Good idea dpp. Let's request it for his next series and see how the downsy spacker copes with that. On a side note, how did this fucking mong land such a fit mrs?

Don't waste your breath wizz, just tell her to fuck off like everyone else does.

Why would any bloke do that?

So, has admin wielded the ban-hammer?

You're not wrong there wizz, I welled up a bit reading lukes saintly comments. I can't help thinking he could be on the wrong website, maybe he works for the samaritans?

Luke, I don't know how to break this to you mate, but both his daughters are older than me. Which means they're the wrong side of 54. That said, one of them is a kind of sexy hippy type, and I probably still would.

christ almighty jiggers, that is an excellent point, and one which hadn't occurred to me. The tight fucker had plenty of spare cash splashing around, I ought to try and get my claws into it. He was also my godfather, so I might get first dibs.

Out of interest bill, which borstal did you go to? ...Oh, incidentally, I just heard from my mother that one of my uncles has croaked. And because I always send cards via him to his two daughters, that's three more cards off the list!!! What a fucking result

My views exactly, bill. I'm slashing nicely through our annual cuntfest this year, namely an enormous cull of our christmas card list. I've reduced it from around 150 to less than 30, and counting. The wife isn't happy, so I'm tempted to knock her off the list too. Miserable cow.

The trouble with these cunts is they won't give up. I had a group of people from my old school contact me for eight years running, about a fucking class reunion. First time, I just apologised and said of course I'd like to have attended, but sadly I'm away on holiday that week. The next year I was a bit sharper, and just said sorry, I won't be there. This escalated to the point where I finally had to tell them point blank that I really didn't want to see any of them again and could they please just fuck off and die. Even after that, I got another invitation the following year, which I returned with a swastika scrawled on it. Cunts.

Eh?

...so tell us gobbler, what brought this idea of eleven men with their pricks dribbling into your mind? Just wondering.

 Nice one

...while to me, it means a brief reach for the off switch.

Perhaps you'd like me to rub in some aftersun cream..... Oh, forget it, I can't be arsed.

How many have you studied at close quarters , drew? What is the collective noun for a group of cunts?

Helen.

You'll be laughing on the other side of your face luke, when I invite you out to my new place in the maldives.