scotty

You called?

Like when that fucking rottweiler mike tyson bit holyfields ears off, and that utter cunt roy keane broke haalands leg before pissing on the flag. They both got welcomed back like heroes because there was money to be made.

Surely "LayPal", gobbler?

Is that cunt murdoch dead yet?

Optimistic as always, then.

That all sounds quite reasonable. Taken from the FT, I assume?

Depends where you were at the time. If you were in merseyside, the beatles must have been great. If you were in california, I'd guess the beach boys sounded better. Horses for courses, etc, personally I don't particularly like either of them, wrong era for me.

Which one are you, neil?

Thanks for clearing that up.

Blimey, she sounds like a busy girl, how many of them have shagged her??

We're turning this place into a combination of mumsnet and tripadvisor deccs, I guess we should get back to cunting off soggy pasta

My mother inlaw was the best cook I've ever encountered, and she never used minced beef in her pasta sauces, always chunks of meat. She did use garlic in them, and surprisingly, also oxo cubes. I don't recall her ever making bolognaise though, then again she was from naples. When I met the wife I was well underweight, less than 8 stone. After a year of daily lunch and dinner round their place I filled out to a healthy 10 stone. Lovely stuff.

Shes over 40, but not hair-lipped. However, while she isn't what I'd call fat, even her best friend probably wouldn't describe her as underweight... Gong is right about the Italians shovelling the pasta down though. The platefuls they serve up would feed me for a week.

Bring back tufty, bring back the green cross code yokel if he's finished playing at darth fucking vader, and while we're at it let's exhume savile for the clunk click campaign.

Never mind that window licker jamie oliver, bill. According to my italian mrs, the most authentic pasta recipes are the antonio carluccio ones.

Absolutely. Nothing wrong with wetherspoons, cheap booze, no music, free WiFi.... I have their pubfinder app on the mobile, always go to a spoons if there's one nearby. And contrary to other opinions, I've always found their food ok.

Suit yourself mate, you're the poor fucker who's getting woken up in the small hours for all the wrong reasons. These little scratters won't learn anyway, so just adapt and go with the flow. Can I also suggest a medicinal brandy?

Too right. I had to get up the other night because of some noisy cunt, he was "parked" in a fucking ditch with his lights and hazards on, laying across his steering wheel holding the horn down. He wasn't even moving, the bastard. I yelled at the cunt for five minutes, then just ignored him. I had the last laugh, the coppers came and towed him away in the morning. Oddly, they'd brought an ambulance with them, I don't know quite why.

Remember john major, and his family standards campaign? All the time he was sacking ministers for getting caught with their pants down or snouts in the coke, he was up to his nuts in edwina currie.

...and they'll pay through the nose.

Save your money wizz, just disconnect the fucking doorbell when you go to bed.

Get me a stowford press in eddie, I'll be there in 15 minutes.

I'll check in the morning db, let you know around 8am.

That's because they all want to have their cake and eat it. Arf.

Camberley and Frimley aren't much better, tbh.