scotty

We're seeing elvis costello on friday night at southampton guildhall. Let's hope he shows up.

...and about ready to explode.

Very true, baws. Very true.

It must have been one hell of a wank to set off an earthquake, baws.

It was better than I expected. Missed the first 25 minutes, but I enjoyed the rest of the game. There was some quality passing and running from ingerland in the second half, especially some good diagonal balls down the left. I thought Aluko had a decent game, at least what I saw of it. She had a good shot very well saved, and the Mexico keeper played a blinder.

What, dead and nailed to a cross?

At least I watched the game, judge. I'll wager that you didn't bother. And fwiw, I was pretty impressed with the standard of play.

Here you go mate. If you can't crack one out by the time this finishes, I despair for humanity.

Predominantly the english ones DG, but there were a fair few spics I'd happily have toyed with as well.

I have to say, there was a decent percentage of very good looking tarts in the game I saw last night. Which is why I drunkenly bemoaned their disappointing lack of saucy benny hill type behaviour.

I've just wasted an hour watching England vs Mexico. Three goals and not a glimpse of a proper lezbo celebration, or even a shirt ripped off like they do in the blokes game. I suggest that if this fiasco is to continue, the rules should be amended. Yellow card: the shorts come off. Red card: offender has to leave the pitch topless. Goal scored: no celebration permitted unless it involves tongues. Substitutes have to moon at the camera when entering the field of play. And finally, when a commentator says "she's entitled to go down there," she fucking well should do.

Rim-minkey, bill. Minkey.

Spot on. I fucking hated that pile of bollocks, tim robbins and morgan freeman can both fuck right off. Just once I'd like to see freeman play an utter cunt rather than his usual avuncular wise man schtick.

Me and the mrs went to see that at the Mayflower last year, paul michael glaser of starsky and hutch fame played the chief yid. He was fucking shit, and so was the entire production. Absolutely worthless crap, and we paid a fortune.................. oh, hang on...........

I knew a cunt who did that. Still owes me a couple of grand, that doesn't sound like much in todays money but in 1984 when the cunt did me for it, it was a fucking lot. Bastard.

..or in Thai, Ping-pong Balls.

I'm perplexed as to why Yvette Cooper kept her maiden name when she married him. Very poor form imho.

Ed Balls really shouldn't be quite so pro-european. After all, his name in German is Herr E Balls.

It's not a 'fine' bill, it's an invoice. If you disagree with it, just fucking ignore it, you didn't need to reply to them at all. The only people who can issue legally enforceable fines are police or local authorities.

To be fair, he did his bit for the black and white minstrel show.

He was funny on tiswas, and moderately amusing on OTT. Since then imho he has done precisely fuck all of any comedic value.

I met him years ago baws, and believe it or not he's actually a thoroughly decent chap. I do get irritated by his "hootenanny" shenanigans though.

"I've got nothing against your right leg, Mr Spigot. The trouble is, neither have you."

Good point Jim, I'd forgotten that. The thread title is "I'm off for a shit", and the nutter that posted it requests reports and descriptions of bowel movements. I originally assumed it was a joke, and the thread developed that way. Turns out he's a fully fledged ocd sufferer with an unhealthy interest in such things.