scotty

Someday, Keith will surprise us and actually get his end away. At the inquest, the coroner will state "she was overcome by the fumes, and suffocated."

So come on Keith, how did it go? Did you pull, or get the widely-predicted kicking? I'm on the edge of me seat here.

^^ Blimey!!! I take it back, very nice.

POIDH.

Oh, yes.

The saints defectors did well tonight for the scousers, held Real to only 3-0 at anfield. Good work lads.

There wont be a thrush epidemic, the french have turned them all into patê.

My doctor suddenly shouted "Look, no hands!!" in the middle of my prostate examination. Is that normal?

I'd rather have a photo of Myrna Loy's tits tbh, Baws.

When did that ever happen?

Harsh, Baws. He has a hot stepmother, remember? What happened to the real one we shall never know.

For a moment there, I thought the top pic was Keith playing the drums.

You might want to check that name on Sicki, dapps And back on topic, coldplay are definitely boring cunts. Keane are no fucking better.

Be fair chaps, who of us hasn't wanked into a manga comic in a high street store? Keith's account of the incident seems quite plausible to me.

There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis.

I've had a long-running thing about her. Naturally, the stalker conviction and asbo haven't helped our relationship, but I'm persevering with it and I hope she will eventually see sense.

I'd give it a go Baws, want to do the camera work?

This is only comedy television stuff, and I find the relentless, predictable abuse fairly amusing. What I'd like though is for the producers to take off the restaurant staffs gloves and let them dish it back to the faux-hardman. Its annoying the way they're forced to continually address the cunt as "chef" ramsey, like dogs begging for a biscuit.

Nothing wrong with that dapps, and at least we don't have to worry about where we park the fuckers. If I see a porsche in the multistorey carpark it usually seems to have been keyed; nobody's going to notice our old wrecks, let alone nick them.

I'd like to play the Londonm card and disparage these merc drivers as "oiks", but as I drive a 12 year old hyundai it could only come across as sour grapes.

I would fuck the pubes off her. Then flip her over and do her up the wrong'un. Censor that, Teresa.

Pen claims to be post-menopausal, so PMT probably isn't the issue here. That will be £136.50 for my consultation fee, plus out of hours call-out.

Don't sweat it dapps, "cunt" fitted the bill just as well.

What is the fucking point of an off-road porsche?? Next thing we know, land rover will be premiering their all new 2 seater convertible. Definitely a cunt.

Count yourself lucky Keith, those suppositories she rams in are the biggest thrill you'll ever get.