Cuntybaws

How do you tell when you've run out of invisible ink?

By one hundredth of a second - GIRFUY Gatlin, you fucking ass-clown!

Remember it's a full moon next week, Mike. You risk cancer just opening your curtains after midnight.

Why is there no other word for “thesaurus”?

What do Japanese people call their Japs eye?

Better to have no earlobes than a set of gammon hangers on your head!

This redrum cunt seems to be five cans short of a six-pack.

At least the combat-trained yanks piled in, along with a British businessman. But where were the French? The Telegraph reports, "Actor Jean-Hugues Anglade who was on board the train accused staff of barricading themselves in an office during the altercation with the attacker, and not letting passengers in even when they were banging on the door."

Like Adam Lyth before you, you may be confusing cricket with Grindr.

Hmm, shall I give my name, email address, penis size, and credit card details to an adultery website? Fuck it, what could possibly go wrong?

I hope the soulless Disney corporation sues these wanky little pseuds for every undeserved penny they've got!

Sweet fuck almighty, have you seen the state of Adrian Zmed and Heather Locklear these days? I don't fancy yours much.

It's seriously fucked up, true, but Leonard Nimoy doing "The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins" makes Jazz's JibJabs look like... oh, I don't know, some sort of comparison between Rolf Harris and Rembrandt may be apposite.

Xmas just came early for you!

Judging by this picture of Masako Natsume, who played Tripitaka, I'd say the "cunt" part is not in any question! If this doesn't tempt Fender back out of retirement for some nunsploitation, I don't know what will.

She must have a fanny like a vintage golf bag.

Indeed. Mrs Baws won't even get out of the bath to take a shit!

Triskelion foreplay! We come in peace, shoot to kill.

This nomination is giving me the horn!

Indeed. I wish I'd never watched any of the digitally remastered original Star Trek episodes - supposedly conceived as a sort of "Wagon Train" to the stars, but what a load of old pony! Could Mr Sulu have been any camper? Now, if it's authentic American drama you're after I can heartily recommend "Banshee". Lots of lovable Injuns leavened with some quaint Amish people, and absolutely no gratuitous sex and violence at all.

The electronic park brake is the greatest invention since the deep fried Mars Bar.

lemonparty.org - it's the one in the central intersection of this Venn diagram.