Cuntybaws

Or the Lexus RX450. I used to wonder why so many manufacturers couldn't even be arsed to come up with a name for these monstrosities - RX450, Q4, X3 etc - and then the fucking "Cayenne" came along and all was suddenly clear. "Can you name the truck with four wheel drive, smells like a steak and seats thirty-five? Canyonero..... Canyonero."

As a general rule, politicians, lawyers and advertisers all have a good case for being considered the biggest cunts in the world (or the biggest arseholes, depending on your persuasion) but there must be a special circle of hell reserved for anyone associated with the production of adverts for local radio. Limp concepts, shit puns, shouty “actors”; and the same ones are repeated every 5 minutes for cunting months on fucking end. Surely the only purchasing decision anyone ever makes after hearing this shite is to buy from anywhere or anyone who isn't these fucking cunts! Next time I think I'll either drive drunk or sleep in a garden, Gypsy style, rather than risk a taxi home.

I'd love to take the credit for it, but it's from "Blade - Trinity". Shit film, brilliant line.

"Surely you'd seen a man's cock before?" "Yes, but this one was eating my popcorn!" Ah, the old ones are the best...

Keith, you cockjuggling thundercunt!

Whoa, steady on there love!

A significant part of the problem is, as Grumps points out, that “the Muslim community is outraged”. So too, no doubt, is the Twittersphere. When some cunt is subtitled on the news as a “Community Leader” you can be 99% certain the gobby yet inarticulate fucker speaks for no-one but themself.

The border officials who let them IN to this country in the first place are equally at fault.

Now look what you've done, you cunt, you've made the Baby Jesus cry!

They do on here, Jigs, too fucking true! PS My quotes are working just fine. Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Fuck me, we have a Jedi Knight in our midst! Beware the dark side, you must.

One of the many sub-points here, though, is that this is exactly what the believers of even the most mainstream religions are supposed to do. I would be the first to laugh in the face of any mad fuck Jehovah's Witness or Mormon who had the folly to show up at my front door, but at least they're practicing what they preach. As Robert Heinlein wrote, “Stupid is stupid; faith doesn't make it smart.”

After "Agony In Pink" there was nowhere left to go.

Yes, it's not a good idea to put studs anywhere near your helmet! Prince Albert was a cunt.

While we're straying from the "people" motif, I used to hide when I saw a Reliant Robin coming because someone told me their wheels could fly off and kill you. This may or not have have been true but it was still a good idea as, with hindsight, the average driver looked like an amalgam of every paedophile photofit you ever saw.

You can come in my mouth - Monica Lewinsky

Keep the faith, Grumpy!

The woolly cunt does seem somewhat overheated; I can feel a shearing coming on. Cutthroat razor or Stanley knife, any preference?

Then we must ensure that we use only the very greenest biodiesel when we burn his fucking arse! PS Where is the Rev...?

Jimmy Savile

They were called Jenny Long Legs where I grew up - presumably because it was assumed that anything so whiny and annoying had to be female. Ah, Scotland, good to have you in the Union.

Take up the white man's burden...

Be fair now, at least he rations his contributions to ensure that he very rarely exceeds 25% of the site's posts on any one day. Such consideration and restraint should be applauded.

He's under your bed.

It's actually very easy to get human statues to move. Just take some money out of their hat!