Jiggerycock

Very good of you but I'm trying the old 'dri-ice to zero kelvin then smash the little fuckers with a house brick' approach. I'll let you know how it goes

Oh I've gone beyond bestiality and come full circle back to the Freemans Catalogue I'm afraid - or I would do if I didn't have to sellotape two ice-lolly sticks to my old chap to evince any kind of tumescence following the sleep deprivation I'm suffering thanks to this nightly bloody cat orgy I'm privvy to. Christ, the ruddy noise! It's like a free-form jazz festival.

My nocturnal rural idyll is shredded by two (possibly more, it's difficult to tell) cats having what sounds like the sex of a lifetime with each other just outside my gaff.

You only took up golf because Mr Fairburn, the PE master at Stonyhurst wouldn't let you near the Rugby field after the incident when you entered the ruck from the wrong angle. Too weedy for BAGA gymnastics, it was either half-a-dozen ferrules or golf with Brother Dominic a buggering off whom was infinitely more preferable than any real manly physical exercise.

The Tufty Club, Heaven, The Wide Awake Club and The Wheeltappers and Shunters

Exactly! It's like someone talking about 'PIN Numbers'. It's repetition. It's recapitulation. It's reiterating. It's a restatement. It's Raining Men - who may or may not be irons, we neither know nor care.

At the risk of being an even more pedantic cunt, the difference between 'poofs' and 'irons' is.....?

A small girl that was tied to a radiator with Terry Waite for 5 years. I say 'with'. It could just as easily be 'by'. He always had a whiff of Savilry about him I thought, the shifty bearded twat.

Is this a 'scratch and sniff' edition?

Another symptom of the 'you can have everything now' world we rent, with the mitigating factor of this one at least involving a bit of effort and sweat. Still likely to achieve a 'gnats cock, seen through the wrong end of a telescope, well beyond Pluto' of result when the lycra-clad adipose lump hasn't made the requisite lifestyle changes and is back on the doughnuts and the Malteesers two days after the camp is over, but you've got to love (every hectare of) a trier, haven't you?

Ah well, you know what they say "Always let the arsehole have the last word"

The big picture? We're two arseholes arguing over something no one here is interested in and which the wider world has largely agreed upon. Cunts Corner indeed

Set out the parameters of a question to suit your agenda. Ignore all informed comment on the issue and refuse to accept the complexity of the situation has been addressed in depth and at length over many years with the authorities still and always being found wanting, preferring to reduce it to a yes / no answer to prove what? Your own version of some 'Truth' that clearly matters greatly to your sense of well-being and justice. Party on my wayward son! Yes I've seen footage from the day, at length and in depth and seen things there that revolt me and will live with me to my dying day. I have also been in something similar though luckily (and it was pure luck, nothing else) without the same horrific consequences, in the Cup Semi Final at Hillsborough in 1981. So having established my bona fides on this issue, have YOU read the Taylor report from cover to cover? Spoken with people who were there? Okay, I doubt a vicars tea party has ever been held in a concrete death-trap, where 50,000 guests have turned up. I doubt a vicars tea party has ever necessitated attendees travelling to it from across the country. You may have attended some racy vicar's tea parties in your time but personally I doubt they generate the fervour of an FA Cup semi-final. Was there pushing? Look up the definition of pushing and, yes there probably was, just as there is 'pushing' in pubs, clubs and doubtless Waitrose shopping queues up and down the land. Was all the above entirely predictable and mitigateable both beforehand and even immediately prior to the decision to open the gate? I eagerly await a reply - yes or no or in your own words.

Never! Silence sucks and if I've shoved a bug so far up your arse you need a zoologist with a Davey Lamp to remove it, my work here is complete

Utter bullshit and lies keep being repeated for 'comedic' effect in CC - and it's ME that's not dropping it???! I'll shut up if everyone else does - deal?

And what you fail to understand is that, having crawled over the evidence with a fine tooth comb for several years the jury in the Hillsborough enquiry upheld the findings of the Taylor Report in that there was not 'several thousand ticketless thugs' and that the catastrophic decisions made by the Police were theirs and theirs alone. This started with the belief that football fans were scum and were to be treated as such, that the game was not going to be delayed and that it was easier to execute (ha!) their job if they opened the gate and let a tsunami of fans through into the central pen behind the goal in the stadium rather than deal with them outside the ground. It's view like yours that perpetrated the belief that 'The Establishment' (and I can't think of a better word for the axis of powerful forces that came together in the wake of Hillsborough and which were so courageously and brilliantly taken apart by the JFT96 campaign) could get away with what they did. It was Liverpool fans that died that day, but any football fan in the mid-80's will tell you, it could have been them. For the life of me, I can't understand why fans of other clubs can't put rivalry aside, mourn the death of innocent people and celebrate the victory that the JFT96 campaign achieved in the face of lies, cover ups and incompetence ranged against them. I guess some people you can't reach and whose adherence to some hip code of 'cool' means they view themselves as no end of a hero stubbornly sticking to discredited views in the face of overwhelming evidence they are wrong.

The one time. THE ONE TIME we, the great shat on and spat on population refused to take it anymore, fought back, stood up to those notionally there to protect and serve us (government and police) and inform and educate us (the media) and who do anything but and actually fucking WON.........and here you are giving the Establishment a handjob, stuck in your ghetto area mentality and revelling in it. Just because you post in something called Cunts Corner and have a way with words doesn't make you edgy.

"So..........."

Fucking hell it's the adipose ghost of Oscar Wilde, delivering another penetrating insight into the nature of being

You laugh. Gilbert and George have been getting away with this kind of, ummm, shit for years yet people travel from Chiselhurst to the Tate Modern to see them!

You're shitting me, right? This is now regarded as a legitimate leisure pursuit for people over 30? I mean even with the word 'adult' raising visions of having to crayon in clits and pissflaps, it'd still be a pretty damn lame exercise but it isn't even that. It's seascapes and still life fruit and stuff like that. A bit like the 'Legend' spot at Glastonbury. It was shit when you were a kid and it's shit now and no amount of 're-appraisal' and looking at it through post-modern, ironic glasses will change that fact.

More shite is being flung around in this campaign than a chimp with the trots in London Zoo, being teased by a walking-bus load of Japanese tourists with penis-envy cameras. Given this, your (by which I mean 'my') little democratic kiss will be going next to the option which I have a gut level, visceral appeal for and fuck the 'facts'. Being bullied by serried ranks of Barrack Obama, grandees from the International Monetary Fund, big business and now 'Actors for Inaction' the 'Remain' campaign have lost the Jiggers vote - a turn of events that I'm sure will lead to coup, insurrection and a plague of locusts now blighting the land.

It's funny (well, in the sense of it not being funny in the slightest) but when visiting Scotland I've definitely noticed anti-English sentiment, which has gone hand-in-hand with the rise of Scottish Nationalism. I'm not just talking Andy Murray / Gavin Hastings pantomime anti-Englishness. I'm talking hostile / aggressive stuff. Not that the English have a great track record in the sweetness and light stakes and Boris didn't help much with his 'ajockalypse' line but fuck me sometimes I feel like Rodney King - can't we all just get along?

So what was that curious 'Urgle urgle urgle' noise he made? I thought it was his cum-cry but I suppose it could have been him getting a strop on?

Because when I was out being cool, getting laid and living the Life of Riley as a youth, you - face like a relief map of Krakatoa, with terminal acne - were aceing IT A Level. You've probably got the inside drop on getting round the crypto-security at Fort Knox, whereas I can't afford to pay the rent, but you've never been sucked off by Tina Hamilton, doing 120 down the M6 in a Porsche Carrera